Charlize Theron is kind of stupid

May 16th, 2007 // 81 Comments
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Charlize Theron was spotted “catwalking” in front of a restaurant for almost five minutes as bystanders looked on in confusion.

Spies outside downtown eatery La Esquina saw the star “putting on a show . . . catwalking in front of the restaurant.” One bystander asked, “What’s wrong with her?” Another told Page Six, “She was doing that walk for almost five minutes.”

Why do the pretty ones always have to be so stupid? She seems adorable enough, but what the hell is this? I’m surprised nobody stopped her and asked if she needed help finding her way home, making sure to speak extra slowly so she could understand. And, uh, here she is trying to make out with a pirate.

For British eyes only!

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superficial

  1. Chauncey Gardner

    Who’s the fucking pirate?

  2. Niki

    She’s not stupid, this site is. Which makes me pretty fucking lame for visiting it everyday!

  3. threearmedman

    In my humble opinion, Charlize (or Char as I call her when I wake her up for breakfast) could do pretty much anything and be ok by me.

  4. syrum

    she’s hot = D

  5. Danielle

    Why is she about to kiss that homeless man?

  6. ysanya

    Ahhh, an Arrested Development reference, once again you impress me more and more Superficial!

  7. Maybe she dropped her ear ring or something! LOL…

  8. DancingQueen

    Is that Gene Simmons? Whoever it is sure looks greasy.

  9. theresa

    Who the hell is the dude??? She kisses him and bites him? Yech!!! Maybe these are photos for a promotion?!?!?! Maybe this guy is one of those characters that stand out in front of places to get people to go in the business… Geezzz….he’s grose!!!

  10. veggi

    She was only being polite to the other customers. On the way to the restaurant she got a truly monstrous gas attack, and she putt-putted up & down the sidewalk before going in. She used the homeless guy to mask the smell. Beautiful AND smart.

  11. oh and the stupid pirate guy is JOHN GALIANO!!! Fashion designer for Givenchy and Dior!! hello?

  12. theresa

    Oh, she did not bite him. It looked like it in the thumb nail picture #6 until I expanded it. Any way….stil sickening…me thinks she can do muuuuccchh better!!!

  13. amy

    The “pirate” is John Galliano, the designer for Dior.

  14. theresa

    #11— If you could see the way I dress, you would know why I don’t know JOHN GALIANO. Besides……he needs some fashion advice, I’d say…why do designers always dress the worst?

  15. ToiletDuck

    Maybe she had to pee and she was trying to walk it off…

    Why the hell do the ugly guys always get to hang out with these bitches??

  16. Chauncey Gardner

    Charlize can be very hot, but after that serial killer movie and some of the hideous off-time photos of some of the other famous slits who are supposed to be hot, I can’t trust her. That said, I’d still rocket in her mouth.

  17. He kinda looks like Jack Sparrow to me, but he´s been pulling that look for years now. And why do fashion designers dress the worst? No idea… not like it matters anyway. LOL

  18. ToiletDuck

    She is from South Africa…her mother shot her father to death in front of her…there is some question as to the circumstances, as the Dad’s brother has the Dad’s leather jacket and the bullet holes are in the BACK – I saw this in the National Enquirer so it must be true…

  19. DrPhowstus

    What the fuck is she standing next to?

  20. I want to be a pirate too…

  21. Pirates don’t have to mow their lawns

  22. DancingQueen

    Beauty and the Beast.

  23. captain obvious

    She has the face of a classic beauty, but she is a bit strange and her figure is too. Can’t quite put my finger on it. And her face doesn’t quite fit her persona;she seems a bit rough around the edges. Now, abt that nasty little pirate…whats the deal w/ him (I don’t recall her being in one of the pirates of the caribbean franchises) and why does it look like she’s abt to french him?!! eeeww! I thought she was w/ that hottie Stuart Townsend??!

  24. Skip Smith

    I’m

    too sexy for a brain

    too sexy for a brain …

  25. The_Squizz

    I’m not sure, but I think the gay pirate is someone I gave a beating to a couple of years ago.

    As for Charlize….
    zip
    ploink
    splat

    aaahhhh

  26. The_Squizz

    Beware of the milky pirate!!

  27. Fishstick

    pirates dont have yards, silly wench.

  28. i'm so bored I have tears in my eyes...

    She is walking for John Galliano…the current and amazing (albeit quirky, but wtf? all male designers are a little “different”….) designer for Christian Dior. She is gorgeous and far hotter than most “models” & you I’m sure. He is gay and obviously her friend. They are having fun. CERTAINLY you have SOMETHING more interesting to talk about or show us. PLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZ…

  29. DrPhowstus

    What does “For British eyes only!” mean? Racist fuck.

  30. mrs.t

    This pic of him explains his fall ’07 show. The models were zombie-flapper-pirates. Sexy!

  31. mrs.t

    But, yes, he is a genius.

  32. btreese

    Is that Cheech…or Chong? Pretty sure it’s Cheech…

  33. Fishstick

    Since when is “British” a race, Doc?

  34. theresa

    Yeah, what does “for British eyes only” mean?

  35. Mr. F

    #29 – “For British eyes only” is a reference to a series of episodes in the 3rd season of Arrested Development in which Charlize Theron guest starred as a learning disabled girl that Michael, the main character dated.

    Racist? Seriously?

  36. To comment 29: “For British Eyes Only” is a reference to her stint on Arrested Development. She played a “mentally retarded female.” Perhaps she wasn’t acting…

  37. BarbadoSlim

    Fuck this african ho’ and hey, I’m not sayin’I wouldn’t go fishing with her, I’m just saying that If she gets in front of me, I’m going anal on her.

  38. Alexander

    How does impulsive behaviour equal stupid? I’ve seen interviews where she is really coherent, charming and genuinely interesting. HAVING HARMLESS FUN ISN’T THE SAME AS BEING STUPID.

  39. Dirty Sanchez

    She may be stupid, but she’s absolutely beautiful.

  40. Marmaille

    huhuhu I’m sorry but this pirate is not a “nobody” it’s John Galiano very famous fashion designer !!! It’s the fashion designer of Dior… does this name ring any bell to you ? I’m glad for Charlie if she can make out with him…

  41. Kamihi

    John Galliano is totally Homo so this is just so stupid and posed. She’s very pretty, in South Africa Theron is pronounced Teron too not THeron like Americans say it!

  42. Jimbo

    WTC !!!! I have been locked out for two days!!!

  43. BarbadoSlim

    Sorry, but it wouldn’t be proper for the forum if I didn’t call her…a whore.

    A soft, milky, fuckable whore…

  44. LeeLee

    wow– I’m really hoping there’s some sort of logical reason why she was catwalking… like, testing to see how drunk she was by walking in a line over and over again?
    Sure, that’s sane enough for me.

  45. Jimbo ?

    @43 I agree 100% She is someone that you could lick until the bowl was dry

  46. bungoone

    11, hello? sorry my life doesn’t revolve around when the next issue of Vogue hits news stands. who the eff cares who this guy is!

  47. slash

    People say “fashion designer” like that’s supposed to mean something to most of us. Most designers throw a bunch of overpriced, ugly-ass clothes on stick figures and the rest of us are supposed to feel blessed by their greatness. Those homos are the reason (partly) why everybody this year looks like they’re wearing shit from the Goodwill store from 1977. Big dresses with no waist, knee-length blouses with no waist, gigantic wedges that make your feet look like they belong on a Clydesdale, horizontal-striped sweaters, leggings… Help me, Jebus. I don’t care if he designs clothes for God, that vest-thing he’s wearing and that hair are both fugly and he should lose his designer license. Isn’t there something somebody can do? Report him to the Fashion Institute or whatever? Have Stacey and Clinton stage an intervention?

  48. Nsomniac

    I couldn’t agree more #47. There is no such thing as a fashion genius. There are only sheep who follow around these people paying ridiculous amounts of money for shit they recycle from 20 years ago. Fashion is a joke, and everyone involved in the industry is self absorbed, self important, and could not live further from reality. I have a great accessory for all you fashion minded fuckfaces. It’s called a bullet. You can wear it through your temple, pierce it through your mouth and out the back of your skull, or simply stick it under your chin and make a fountain out the top of your head.

    Trust me, it’s the only positive influence you will ever have on our society.

  49. Danklin

    She isnt that pretty. All they did with her character in Monster was take off her makeup.

  50. elle

    Very nice on the AD reference!

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