Charlize Theron Belize bikini pictures

August 7th, 2007 // 158 Comments

Charlize Theron and Stuart Townsend are currently on vacation in Belize, and staying at the $2,500 a night Blancaneaux Hotel. And I know she’s frolicking around in a stream, but it wouldn’t kill her to put a little makeup on. She looks like her character from Monster. She could be going into surgery and she should be wearing makeup. Bikini pictures are supposed to make me smile and remove my pants, not wet myself and hide in the closet in shame. And by “wet myself and hide in the closet in shame”, I mean rip my shirt when I flex. These damn muscles are always getting in the way.


  1. Milandir

    She’s fucking hot. With or without makeup

  2. hollyj

    Looks like Stuart Little has fucking freshly-squeezed zits all over his back. I bet five minutes before these pics were taken, he was bent over a rock and she was poppin’ and eatin’ those white-heads like the favorite female gorilla in the troop.

  3. Babee Dahl

    Charlize looks just fine, She’s a very cute girl! And those who say otherwise are just jealous. Also what is with all you men always wanting to stick Your ***** in some woman, no matter what she looks like.

  4. spoofy mcgillicutty

    I had a cocker spaniel that was hotter, his breath stank a little…but boy could he fetch a stick. My boy Albert however, would still hit that. but lets be honest, he would bang a flat football if it was soaked in warm water long enough.

  5. Sheva

    This is her. She’s lovely but yes, she’s put on a few normal pounds. Nothing too dramatic but yes, she can be better.

    But with the fat bastard, why bother?

    I cut her doughiness some slack as a result. As I recall, she said some really fucking stupid shit politically so I’m going to let her be a bit soft.

  6. tonycatman

    I have never liked her as a person.

  7. farty_mcshitface

    entrants 1-3, you fuckers are the reason this site sucks ass!!!!!!!!!!!
    #11- she is uglier than fried shit on a stick!!
    there is a reason she should not gain weight, she has NO muscle tone on her shitty little body.
    broads like her are a dime a dozen. never figured out what the fuss over this bitch was.
    she has no real shape to her- just a combination of flab and bone structure.
    i puke at this bitches sight. she is uglier than blowhan and shitney combined.
    she is nothing more than classic hollywood myth personified!!


    i really am in love with whoever writes for this site

  9. Blusher

    She’s a godd-looking woman, no doubt about this.

    Now he’s an ugly mofo, going to the gym wouldn’t hurt…

  10. Miguelito

    Be kind, people, you’re looking at two legends. Napoleon and Bigfoot.

  11. x

    Oh my. I had my first girlhood crush on dear Stuart here back in -97. But now…honey, what happened? I guess it’s not all his fault though; it’s hard to not be paler than death and have a gut when you’re Irish. :)

  12. paco

    well…the hair is reminisant of waronos. the face…just a little

  13. paco

    oh…i wish it were possible to stick my leg out and trip the 1st three assholes on their way to being first in line for juice and cookies…grow up dick heads

  14. i always thought she is beautifull, now i see it’s been the wonders of make-up. that 34A is cool! implants are dangerous bullshit.

  15. Hmm her face is ok without makeup, bearing in mind with it she’s more stunning than alot of celebrities, what I want to know is where the hell did her tits go to?

  16. Texas Tranny

    Damn, I’m glad ya’ll recognized the troll (64) and know I’d never talk like that.
    I still think that’s a cute bikini.

  17. 116, I knew it wasn’t you…you’ve always been nice to me.
    So, dammit, I got up extra early today, and no new post yet?!?!
    Coffee time



  19. Bugman4045

    Leave Charlize alone.
    Her mom shot her dad (dead) while he busy raping 14 year old Charlize. That she recovered from that and became anything at all, is incredible. Superfish should leave this one be.

  20. Bored

    FRIST WTC!!! are you still here?

  21. Bite Me!

    Yeah FRIST are you still here?

  22. ??damn that girl needz a tan, whatz wrong with that mouth???

    Zhe did a good job playing “Arlene Warnoz”=Monzter..hard to
    believe that bitch waz from Datona Beach..killing men on I=95
    damn that muzt of been fun??

  23. Texas Tranny

    We need a new post……………..

  24. WTC!!! Yep I’m here!!!
    Yep!!! We need a new post

  25. Hey, Bite Me, are you bored?

  26. Bite Me!

    I was yesterday. I forgot to change it back

  27. Bite Me!

    You got mail!!!

  28. TheRage

    i’m gonna guess that Stuart Townsend is flipping off the camera because they managed to catch him with some insighly bacne. blech!

  29. TheRage


  30. Ew.

    She’s so ugly. Even when they try so hard to doll her up and paint on a face, it’s just gross.

  31. gigi

    damn, she’s thick-wasted! must be the boer in her [they say it like: b-eww-rrrrr -roll the r] she has that typical dutch-decent south african farmer woman build– strong & sturdy like a tree trunk – I bet $1000 she could pull a plow! Come award show night tho? TRANSFORMATION! thank god for makeup, stylists, nutritionists & trainers…

  32. Bite Me, ya better check yer mail, I emailed you, then my explorer crashed, don’t know if it went out

  33. yolatengo

    #129 and #130 yeah real god awful ugly…PLEEESE you’d kill to have her face/body/fame/money…. I am no huge fan but i just get sick of hearing how ugly she is. maybe plain in these pics while she is vacationing/drinking/swimming etc, ya know being ‘REAL’? give me a down to earth cute girl anytime over fucking bitches wearing 10 lbs of makeup and jewlery at the beach

  34. Bite Me!

    Yes I got it but I have not read it yet

  35. NAH

    Are you absolutely sure that it Charlize Theron and not a man dressed in a Charlize Theron mask?

  36. yolatengo

    oh, and i am sure all the geniuses complaining about how ugly Charlize looks w/out makeup are the same idiots that thought Paris looked real hot when she stepped out of jail all ‘natural’ without any makeup, you know if you dont count the false eyelashes, foundation, eyeliner, lipgloss, concealer and blush… morons, this is how real human beings look.

  37. wedgeone

    “Her mom shot her dad (dead) while he busy raping 14 year old Charlize. That she recovered from that and became anything at all, is incredible. Superfish should leave this one be.”

    Wow! I didn’t know she was a SLUT!

  38. xloxlox

    She’s stunning…

    Lucky thing…

  39. Micky Mc

    At least she’s not orange

  40. wedgeone

    #137 – But we DO know that schack is out trolling me AGAIN! Bastage. Get a life.

  41. star69

    Nice old couple dorking around. Nothing to see here. Move along.

  42. Ouli

    Ugly body.
    Too bad for her.

  43. meh

    Why are people wasting pictures on them? NOT HOT

  44. janie

    OMG, is THIS really Stuart Townsend??? He was so hot in the Queen of the Damned, what the **** happened to him? He looks like a 50 years old and he´s fat, oh my.. This is such a disappointment

  45. Babee Dahl

    #118 Just because you are a man does not mean you have to stick your you know what in anything that moves. You are a dog!!!

  46. oh fuck, stuart used to look so hot as Dorian Grey!!!!!!!! my night fantasies with him will never be the same hehehe

  47. redsonja1313

    I am sorry but it looks to me that both have let thier bodies go. sad, where is the sexy Lestat stuart

  48. Frybread

    Typical. Why am I not surprised most of the people who are defending Charlize and saying she is beautiful are bitches. I’m sorry, but Charlize is a flabby stick with no shape and no breasts. Plus, she is beginning to age in the face. I’m not Adonis, myself, but I wouldn’t touch her.

  49. pewpewpew

    meh… I thinks she looks fine… Just because she isnt all photoshoped to death… As for townsend .. so he has put on a bit of weight it happens his not so bad… my god people are so bitchy when celebs show themselves as being human like the rest of us… :P

  50. KP

    She looks fine… but who chose the swimsuit? Eww.
    I’m glad she had some time to just ‘hang out’. Too bad there were strangers there shooting her picture, breaking the mood.
    I LOVE it when celebs are shown for who/what they really are. People.

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