Charlize Theron Belize bikini pictures

August 7th, 2007 // 158 Comments
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Charlize Theron and Stuart Townsend are currently on vacation in Belize, and staying at the $2,500 a night Blancaneaux Hotel. And I know she’s frolicking around in a stream, but it wouldn’t kill her to put a little makeup on. She looks like her character from Monster. She could be going into surgery and she should be wearing makeup. Bikini pictures are supposed to make me smile and remove my pants, not wet myself and hide in the closet in shame. And by “wet myself and hide in the closet in shame”, I mean rip my shirt when I flex. These damn muscles are always getting in the way.

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  1. thread

    you Fat FUCK !!!
    Get away from my woman !!!

  2. Taylor

    Dumb fuck .. No one wears makeup while swimming.

  3. Mel

    she looks great…and youve made that muscle joke countless times before…yaaawn

  4. ?

    i wish someone would photoshop all my pictures!

  5. combustion8

    she hit the wall hard.. and fast.

  6. Snow White

    I’m guessing black guys really don’t see her as attractive – too pasty, no boobs, no big butt. Let’s check – guys! guys! black guys! Hold on a sec, put the guns and knives down, put the screwtop back on the wine bottle, tell Laquisha you’ll slap her again in a minute – do you think Charlize is fuckable? I mean, beyond creating a distraction to get into her purse?

  7. combustion8

    Stuarts seems to still be upset about his show tanking after just a few weeks.

  8. Malffy Hernandes

    Um, #53 are you speaking to me? and #52, ever heard of natural beauty? Well Charlize has none.

  9. Donna

    She’s rather shapeless. She reminds me of an amoeba. I’m half expecting her to fold into herself and invaginate a nearby object.

  10. big time

    I never thought that I would miss all the pictures of britney spears……..until now. Damn, that girl has no business in a bikini

  11. bug

    Very, very average.

  12. So, then no new post today??? I’m actually on here for once and all I get is this crap???!!!???

  13. Bite Me!

    FRIST you still have me!!!!

  14. Texas Tranny

    @62 You never say anything fucking relavant anyway, to busy having conversations with Bite me or whoever other faggot is on here. That’s what email is for you dumb bitch!

  15. Fuck off 64, you’re a troll.

  16. wedgeone

    #32 – not low enough, in Charlize’s case.
    #48 – even better, the Dr. Teeth Muppet!! >^D

    I’m going to have to watch “The Devil’s Advocate” again, because I could have sworn that the full frontal scene she did proved that she had tits. Did they disappear over the last 10 years or something?

  17. Bite Me!

    @64 Fuck you TROLL!

  18. Magpie

    Who cares she has no makeup on to play in a waterfall? That’s ridonkulous!
    As to being fat, get real! She’s looking good, she’s like 40?
    We should stick to picking on people like Lindsay and Paris..

  19. BTW, I did email Bite Me just a few minutes ago, so….
    63 You got mail!!!

  20. wedgeone

    and isn’t dude all special since he scouted out the papz hiding in the bushes taking all of these photos.
    Get a tan and pop those zits on your back, for God’s sake!!! ICCKK!

  21. Bite Me!

    @66 Wedgeone, You are correct, There is a full frontal shot of her in the Devils Advocate. The Red head had a better body, but she looked good naked!!!!

  22. Who the crap is Stuart Townsend, anyway??? I couldn’t see the pictures before for some reason I would click on them and nothing would happen, but it just worked and I totally don’t know who that is. I thought I recognized his name, thought he was the guy from Ferris Bueller and Spin City, you know the tall nerdy guy??? But clearly I once again am mistaken.
    So, is he like an actor or somethin?

  23. which WEIGH

    Is this Charlize or Ashley Judd?

  24. Bite Me!

    Stuart Townsend is on the hit show “Night Stalker” on the SciFi channel and a shit load of B movies. Why the hell is Charlize with this poser?

  25. Blow Me Hard Bitch

    I got a ball for her, and it’s a monster.

  26. Bubba

    Bitch needs some boobs. Will someone, anyone, please buy her some new tits?

  27. southie

    Apartheid bitch

  28. brody

    I wanna punch her in the twat.

  29. Sauron

    I got almost blinded while looking at these pics.They definitely need a tan quick!

  30. reality bites

    #7. LOL

    That is the greatest word ever (I’ve never heard that word before). me likey lot.
    to be fair though me thinks they are bug bites. But twatever he’s a stupid actor who makes way more money then he should so iItake it back he’s a walking proactive before shot.

  31. Back Nipples

    She is a little pudgy. But, to be fair she hasn’t had a movie in awhile. They always tighten for their movies…. unless it’s for Monster part 2.

  32. Bite Me!

    @81 for someone that has not done much lateley, she has 7 movies in the works righ now. 3 are completed, 1 is filming and 3 are in in the works

  33. Bored

    A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. The gas pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car.
    He asks the driver, “What’s up with the penguins in the back seat?”

    The man in the car says “I found them. I asked myself what to do with them, but I haven’t had a clue.”

    The clerk ponders a bit then says, “You should take them to the zoo.”

    “Hey, that’s a good idea,” says the man in the car and drives away.

    The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car.

    “Hey, they’re still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo.”

    “Oh, I did,” says the driver, “And we had a swell time. Today I am taking them to the beach.”

  34. It’s hard to tell who needs to lose more weight: Mr EatMonster or Monster.

  35. Chauncey Gardner

    Eh…I’d fuck her. She’s not the hottest – not by a longshot, with that somewhat piggish face – but she’s certainly not the ugliest.

    Her acting, on the other hand, is atrocious. But, with the exception of the occasional headscratcher like AEON FLUX, she has managed to land in predominantly high-class projects with top shelf actors and directors. She’s either incredibly wise, or she sucks dong way better Halle Berry does.

  36. Joheki

    I love how no matter how hot you are, a set of knees on anyone looks like a train wreck.

  37. Bea

    Oh please!!! She looks fine…. you’re just jealous bitches……

  38. KillaJ

    dear krazihottkelli, < >

    Will you please teach me how to make symbols? Like these..????? Because I can’t just copy and paste that shit everytime I want to remember what a dumbfuck you are. By the way, how many times a day do you post on this website? I thinkz iz time for youz to visit Perez Hilton’z webzite.

    Luvz you,
    KillaJ

  39. She looks good to me. I think we’ve all seen much, much worse though.

    (Come to our live chat at http://discuss-beauty.blogspot.com)

  40. Kamiki

    Good for her for not getting fake tits. She looks great.

  41. Kamiki

    I think he is pretty hot – I’d have a go!

  42. Ape

    When she fixes herself up she looks pretty good… not here in there pictures though.

  43. kix

    Wow, they look…. normal.

  44. tittieman

    She ain’t got no titties!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  45. Big Mama

    Is her boyfriend from Mars or something. He has green skin. That is so sick!

    Natural blonds can’t get away with not wearing any makeup, even if they are seen with little green men, they still look the whiter side of pale. She needs to go to the store STAT and get some Revlon, Cover Girl, and Almay.

    She could also get a cute, non-green, boyfriend if she really wanted to. She must be mentaly off.

    I saw that movie “Monster” and she is sick to want to make it. I know I got sick watching it. I didn’t even watch the whole thing because everything about it was sick. She is just a SICK, SICK, SICKO!

  46. swan

    Hey, let’s lay off dough boy. I bet he is a great fuck! Seriously, I have been with a gaggle of guys some super hot (2 models) and some normal and some dorky and down right nerd meisters. The best sex I ever had was with a dough boy who I am still in love with to this day. It is more fun to be with a regular guy than a guy who is full of himself and too metrosexual. Do any of the ladies agree?

    Plus I think the normal guys are usually funnier and appreciative of beautiful women. Sometimes it matters more how good they are to you and how good in bed they are rather than how they look.

  47. regular or coffee?

    I’d fuck her so hard that sparks would fly out of her ass, and when she came to from the orgasm coma two days later, I’d tell her I truly loved her. (Repeat)

  48. Frybread

    Meh, she’s not so special. Just another woman who can look pretty with enough makeup caked on her face. Her boyfriend, however, is all kinds of ugly. Makes me have hope for myself!

  49. I'M A FUCKING CORPSE IN A RIVER IN MINNESHITTA

    THEM’S SOME HUGE TITTIES!!!

  50. Blancaneaux Hotel isn’t 2500 a night… it’s 700 a night during peak season. And Belize is played out like Arnold, I dunno what you’re talkin bout WIllis.

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