Charlize Theron Belize bikini pictures

August 7th, 2007 // 158 Comments

Charlize Theron and Stuart Townsend are currently on vacation in Belize, and staying at the $2,500 a night Blancaneaux Hotel. And I know she’s frolicking around in a stream, but it wouldn’t kill her to put a little makeup on. She looks like her character from Monster. She could be going into surgery and she should be wearing makeup. Bikini pictures are supposed to make me smile and remove my pants, not wet myself and hide in the closet in shame. And by “wet myself and hide in the closet in shame”, I mean rip my shirt when I flex. These damn muscles are always getting in the way.


  1. Ronda

    first fuckas!

  2. jbomb


  3. first


  4. Penis Mightier

    If a pasty dough boy like that guy can land Charlize, then it is scertain that I will soon be in the arms of my beloved Jessica Biel. I’m on my way my love!

  5. Eh. She’s alright.

  6. IMOA

    Picture 12-
    Today’s post are brought to you by the number 1.

  7. “Fuck you for taking a picture of my backne!”

  8. lisa

    She is swimming you idiot…… comes off in water. Men don’t have a clue!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. fa

    first not to say first?

    i’d still hit it.

  10. Penis Mightier

    By the way you first 3 posters are fucking pathetic wastes of flesh and space. Bo die. Now. Thanks.

  11. Shallow Val

    I like her, she’s great, but she’s thin for a reason. She has a weird body, but she’s got an ass (thank Goodness). Bodies like that should never, ever gain weight.

  12. lambman

    That’s one sexy African!

  13. Texas Tranny

    I think that’s a cute bikini.

  14. Annie Rexia

    I see seaworld finally got around to teaching shamu how to flip the bird.

  15. Tim

    Wow, there’s something here for everybody! She’s not looking too…uh…glamorous; he looks like the ugly pasty paunchy mom’s-basement-dweller that all the female commenters describe when the guys are criticizing female bodies; and together, they’re unattractive washed out whiteys, in case anybody ever comes around to comment in a racial way. Howsabout we start with calling her “fat”?

  16. That’s so funny, I was going to say she loooks like that chick from Monster…but then I read the post and the Fish had beat me to it :(

  17. Lovely

    Nice jobs # 12 and # 15- you clever fuckers you

  18. Meggz

    Oh my god, Stuart Townsend has put on so much weight! He used to be really hot… ew….. I’m going to have nightmares about these pictures……

  19. Italian Stallion

    I didn’t know the dead went on vacation or could swim for that matter. Her boyfriend must have on SPF 100 or some shit, or he thought this bitch was a ghost. Christ, get out in the sun a little more……………………………

  20. Bite Me!

    I think that guy with Charlize is number one too. Damn she looks ugly here and no boobs. Her little boy toy has more boobs than she does.

    HEY FRIST WTC!!!!!

  21. Stephanie

    people honestly think her face looks like it did in the movie Monster? christ.

  22. I’ve never been a fan. She’s hideous. Plus I heard she eats children and hates kittens……or is it the other way around? Wait, that’s right, she throws kittens at children. She eats bald eagles.

  23. Hello, Bite Me, didja miss me?

  24. El Ces


    ….I think;)

  25. Walnuts

    man boobs

  26. Bite Me!

    @23 Yes, You never call me any more!!!! Did you get my e-mail?

  27. BITE ME!!! Where’d you go??? You know I only have 10 minute increments of time to surf fish!!!!!

  28. Bite Me!

    @24 Yes she is 32 today

  29. Oh, there you are. I’m so impatient heh heh heh

  30. really….this is hideous?

    too many transvestite loving gay men in the building….

  31. Bite Me!

    FRIST I am on my way to mow your yard!! Are you going to be in the pool again?

  32. norton

    How low can a bikini bottom go before you actually see a womans’ clit. Seriously, look at that bottom….

  33. Frick!

    Yeh she doesn’t look so great here, but then who wears makeup when they go swimming? Only vain or insecure chics. Anyways, forget about her…look at him! Yipes! I thought he was pretty fricken hot in that vampire movie. Now he looks like a pasty, doughy (angry) homosexual. And no, thats not a good thing.

  34. p911gt10c

    meh, she’s already immortalized her hotness in Playboy. She don’t have to do anything to impress anyone 4 life. Though it wouldn’t have killed her to get waxed for that shoot.

  35. Yep I will be. See you then, and trust me it won’t be easy!!!
    #30 When did I become a gay man?

  36. Bite Me!

    Hey Norton, how high up do you think a womens clit is? It is not the round hole on her stomach. I hope the is what you have been licking all these years. But that would explain why they never have a big O

  37. Bite Me!

    @35 I always have fun mowing your yard!!!

  38. kellygirl57

    When did Stuart Townsend get so pasty and doughy? Bleh! Didn’t he used to be cute?

  39. Awww…that’s so sweet!!!
    And #36 was funny!!!

  40. Lexoka

    There’s something wrong with you man, she’s beautiful. A little pale maybe, but that could be the light, or anything.

    That guy, on the other hand… Well…

  41. norton

    LOL @ bite me. Look at Pic 10. That’s pretty low… I mean, at that level she can’t have much of a hitler to speak of.

  42. Truly

    Even in picture 10, if her pussy came up that high she would be having trouble keeping her guts in.

  43. chimpy

    Agh she’s gone to the lions. Titless and fat. Not even a cute face. Maybe never had it, just make-up sheesh.

  44. chimpy

    Whose the short fat guy fucking her?

  45. norton

    Ahh, c’mon you guys use your imagination…. I WANT her to have an enormous twat, just because. Y’know with huge labia and everything…..

  46. Bite Me!

    @41 Norton , yes the bikini bottoms are pretty low. Sorry, I just could not resist the cheep shot at you

  47. Jabba

    For British eyes only!!!

  48. mmmmm

    # 45. norton -
    Maybe you’re right. Maybe behind that bikini it looks like a big muppet mouth turned sideways.

  49. susan

    These pictures remind me of the no-makeup pictures of Heidi Klum awhile back. Same washed out look, same scary-angry eyes. “Monster” probably did give Charlize a chance to express her not-so-attractive side. There’s a reason why actresses and models plop down in a make-up chair in the morning and tell the flamer “make me beautiful!” Some don’t need the full treatment to look beautiful, for example Angelina back when she was fucking her brother and not adopting the world and dieting and turning into a brunette praying mantis. But somebody like Charlize probably looks fairly ordinary before the pros work on her. I do admire her refusal to get implants, even if it makes her boyfriend the hooterchick in the couple. And since there’s some question as to where her “landing strip” pubes are, I think they’re between his boobs.

  50. Malffy Hernandes

    she’s ugly…

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