Charlize Theron back on the market

March 13th, 2006 // 39 Comments

charlize-breakup.jpgArrested Development guest star Charlize Theron has ended her five-year relationship with movie star boyfriend, Stuart Townsend. Speculation has been brewing for a few weeks when she declared she had no intentions of marrying him. Luckily for Townsend, the break was completed before the Oscars, keeping him from being photographed next to the horrific Shoulder Bow Incident.

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  1. GothamGuy

    Remember this…”Charlize and Stuart have declared they are to marry the day it becomes legal for gays and lesbians to wed in US.”

    Dude-like move Charlize. I like it — that strategy is second only to the whole “faking your own death” scheme to get out of a lame relationship. What must it be like to hear, “Yes I

  2. sammygirl

    I saw Monster for the first time this weekend, and I couldn’t believe how UGLY Charlize was. Good god, I was blown away. She’s pretty talented I think. And I don’t throw compliments around very often, so I must be impressed with her. I understand why she got the Oscar. Reese Witherspoon, on the other hand, NOT a good actress. She’s a total anal retentive TypeA control freak. In real life, I can see her being exactly like her character in “Election”.

  3. mamacita

    Maybe now, she and Christina Ricci can get together and fulfill their every fantasy. You know they want to.

  4. Daniel

    Reese is a great actress. She blew that big ham Joaquin(sp?)Phoenix off the screen in “Walk The Line”.

    A friend of mine met her and her husband once and said they were both very friendly, FWIW.

  5. bafongu

    If that thing bent over in front of me you would have a better chance of survival if you got between a ham sandwich and Orson Wells! I’d hit that so hard our grand kids would be dizzy. I’d bang that like a bass drum in the Mummers parade!

    You know wha’ they say: See a broad to get that bodiac lay’er down an’ smack ‘em yack ‘em.

  6. Daniel, yes, they were friendly but then again, in an orgy it is considered very bad form to be impolite to newcomers. ;)

  7. Zegna

    Ugh! I have to say, the “Monster” headshot of her in the post is so disgusting I almost puked. Honestly.

  8. LoneWolf

    #5 – Pray to J. I’d to the same-o same-o.

    No real opinion about Charlize; just wanted to show that I got the reference.

  9. sikofdis

    She’s fine as hell, I’d hit it in a hearbeat!

  10. Alacran

    She’s freeee, maybe she’ll pay attention to me now…

  11. auh2o

    Yeah, stuff is awesome. I like it.

  12. Jeremy1Esq

    Monster was not much of a stretch for this chick. Yeah, she is good looking with the Hollywood makeup and clothes on, but get past the surface and the makeup and listen to that raspy cigarette smoking voice and she is very average in real life.

  13. Jacq

    I never thought he was that cute anyway. She needed to find someone WAY better looking to marry when pigs fly.

  14. Grphdesi23

    She was DEFINITELY the MAN in the relationship.

  15. Grphdesi23

    No matter how beautiful a woman is, someone is sick of her shit.

  16. Grphdesi23

    Well, Stuart Townsend WAS on an epsiode of Will and Grace, so…………

  17. stacyrose

    I can see her more with someone like Keanu Reeves *sigh* Sweet November will always be in my heart.

  18. HughJorganthethird

    Do women that beautifull even have to put out? Or do they just get naked and let you whack off while they read Vogue.

    Just wonderin’

  19. Hey Hugh, that the relationship I have with Charlize right now. Except they are movie caps, and she’s not really here…..

  20. gogoboots

    When was she on Arrested Development? I thought that show was off the air already…

  21. Pretty face. No boobs.

    If you have no boobs, you need to weigh under 110 to be pretty.

    Megan Harris rules.

  22. honey

    #5, Bafongu..
    COLD got to be- shiiiiit

  23. Shovel00

    actually Megan, you have to weigh under 110 to be pretty even with boobs, hence the “boobs on a stick” fantasy

  24. marcantony

    #22

    Golly

  25. hafaball

    Compared to the real Aileen Wuornos, Theron was still hot. And I have no idea who Townshed is, so I’ll just keep it at that.

  26. gogoboots

    The boobs need to be fake then, therefore you can achieve the “boobs on a stick” fantasy. It can be done I tell you look at Linday Lohan or Angelina Jolie (before she was preggers of course).

  27. madonnasponytail

    i adore charlize.

  28. breakitdown

    charlize is a super hot female.. i also likes the big bow dress. she looks great in anything

  29. annadisaster

    NOW I can make a move on Stuart. I’d get him dressed up and make him go Lestat on me.
    I thought they were a cute couple though, shame like.

  30. Topaz Vamp

    Megan Harris said “Pretty face. No boobs.
    If you have no boobs, you need to weigh under 110 to be pretty.”

    Which is it? First you say she has a pretty face, then you say she has to be under 110, which she clearly is not, to be pretty.

  31. Mr. Fritz

    #25, I agree with you. Charlize is hot. She is just following the lead of another Oscar winner, that horse faced chick from Million Dollar Baby. Get a less talented guy, win an Oscar for best actress, then dump the dude when you need the press. Still, she is one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood.

  32. Hey guys, you’re missing the point. The reason Monster is so compelling is that Charlize is much more attractive than that. Also the fact that she was willing to shed her glam image.

    Cheers.

  33. April

    #29, that’s what I was thinking. Stuart Townsend was completely yummy as Lestat. He could bite me anyday.

  34. so what’s her number?

  35. Marisa

    Excuse me people!Why would Stuart Taunsent would ever want to marry Charlize?There are much more beautiful women than Charlize who don’t need make up to make them look pretty.She looks like the ”monster” every day not just in the movie. I mean really why should he marry her?To fell in love with her money and I suppose that’s enough for some of you!But is there anything really interesting about her or there is something fascinating only in your imagination?Look at her !Does she looks lovable ?She is probably hitting on every director to get the roles.Or does she seems like a nice person?Let me see she is only interested in money and she would hurt her husband by chitting on him with the first chance with some other man for some money!

  36. Eva

    So how’s the slut Charlize’s doing?Is she using any drugs?She is acting rather stupid don’t you think?How do you think she is spending her valuable time?Doing something wise?!I’d like to share opinions with you guys!..

  37. Brother_Of

    I don’t know.I Personally find her disgusting!She is very ugly she would totaly sell her mother for money!Of course that is if she didn’t get the money she gets now.She is a worthless trash!

  38. Katrina_Hollywood

    I don’t like her.Seriesly she needs to calm down ,she thinks she’s too smart for the others and cool enough.She is a smart ass!All the things she is fantasizing are just in her head!She is not real, but a fake person only too glamour for simple people.

  39. Maria

    Charlize is definately really really stupid person!Her behaviour speak for itshelf!That’s all I wanna say!!!!Charlize Theron=stupid.

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