During last night’s Human Rights campaign gala, Michael Fassbender presented Charlize Theron with the Ally for Equality Award which is apparently the proper venue for her to talk about how huge his cock is and her insatiable hunger for it. Suck it, intolerance! Via E! News:
Referencing Fassbender’s full-frontal work in Shame, Theron quipped, “I have to say that I was truly impressed that you chose to play it big. Most other actors would have gone small, trust me. No, I know because I’ve worked with them.”
The Oscar-winner didn’t stop there. “Your penis was a revelation,” she said to the howling audience. “I’m available to work with it any time.”
So I was tempted to suggest one of those small penises Charlize Theron worked with was Mark Wahlberg in The Italian Job, but then I remembered I sometimes fly places and who would save me from terrorism? Some pussy air marshal with no kids to look in the eye and say “Daddy’s got this?” Ha! Wait, is he a southie? Because maybe if he’s a southie.