Charlie Sheen’s tender court date of love

February 9th, 2010 // 22 Comments

Charlie Sheen was charged in Aspen court yesterday with felony menacing, third-degree assault and criminal mischief after he allegedly held a knife to his wife Brooke Mueller’s throat and threatened to kill her on Christmas night. Fortunately Brooke bravely attended the hearing to assist prosecutors. Except not really she was there to support Charlie and drop the restraining order. Whee! Us Magazine reports:

Sheen, 44, could face one to three years in prison if convicted for the menacing charge. (Third-degree assault and criminal mischief are both misdemeanors.) Sheen has not entered a plea for the charges.
In the same hearing, Judge James Boyd lifted a protective order preventing Sheen and his wife, 32, from communicating. The modification comes after the couple had mutually requested they be allowed contact in order to mend their marriage.
Sheen’s attorney Richie Cummins assured Judge Boyd that his client “has taken a number of steps” to work on his problems with anger management and alcohol.
At the end of the hearing, Sheen and Mueller got up and hugged each other warmly but left the courthouse separately.

“Don’t worry, Charlie honey, we’ll get through this. It’s just like that time you forgot our anniversary. I’ll make you buy something really expensive to get over it. Tee hee! — I’m kidding. It’s all your money and I swear I never touch your credit cards. Oh, God, don’t put me back in the box! I’ll be good!”

On that note, have we narrowed down a date when Brooke Mueller’s going to die? I’m going with Fourth of July because Charlie Sheen’s like a bad movie serial killer who only attacks on holidays.

Photos: Getty
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  1. Mike

    Very hot. Second!

  2. fitzwilly

    Charlie Sheen is the white OJ Simpson. It is only a matter of time.

  3. zuzuspetals

    Wow, what a stupid, stupid bitch she is. And he’s a piece of shit. I guess they deserve each other but I feel sorry for those kids- hopefully they won’t turn out to be monsters like their dad.

  4. Is there any chance of a plea-bargain to spread the three years out among the ugly kid and gay guy Charlie lives with?

  5. Dabbitt

    I hear Charlie Sheen was recently seen picketing at Corcoran State Prison for Phil Spector’s release.

  6. Ripper Owens

    Nice hand sign Estevez.

    Charlie needs a Swift kick in the Cock just for being a Temporal Coadjutor!

  7. JackInTheBox

    This guy fucks whores, beats his wives why does he not get the Tiger treatment?

  8. me again

    can’t stand him.

  9. dancy

    I’m not sure about that!! All my hot and sincere friends on ======[PLUSFLIRT dot c O m]===== are talking about this!! BBW, it’s the place where hot models and sex y young men;and handsome folks with sensu al chick s meet and mingle! You may wanna check it out! LOL DFFFFFFFFFFFFFDD

  10. JMC

    “I’m going with Fourth of July because Charlie Sheen’s like a bad movie serial killer who only attacks on holidays.”

    It’s only midday but I’m going to say that this is the funniest thing I will read or hear today.

    Brilliant!

  11. Lisa

    Knife to his wife’s throat and this douche bag expects to go free. Sorry piece of shit. White privilege is something else. Next time he will kill that dumb ass bitch. Nothing worst than a greedy white women chasing after money.

  12. Jeff

    out of all the birds he bagged in his day this is the one he married?! come on charles

    ans by the way this new write fuckin sucks, i havent laughed in weeks

  13. George Haley

    “Charlie Sheen’s court appearance did not interfere with his auditioning for the lead in Sony’s upcoming Dan Akroyd biopic.”

  14. George

    “Charlie Sheen’s court appearance did not interfere with his auditioning for the lead in Sony’s upcoming Dan Akroyd biopic.”

  15. George

    That would’ve been a lot funnier if I wasn’t a douche and posted it twice, huh? FLM.

  16. Why was it ordered that Charlie can’t drink when it was documented that BROOKE was the drunk one that morning?…

  17. Doc Schweinstrudel

    EEEW this is the most disgusting face on the screen. HOW can this redneck eyes and serial killer nose and no lips EVER get in any movie. Like if you go to the hair stylist and dress him in suit and put an arm candy it would distract from the fact that by physiognomics he has the serial killer features – YOU DON’T FOOL US!!!

  18. Mike

    Charlie Sheen is history’s greatest monster! He’s killed before, we can be sure of it from these charges! He must be in jail. Everybody must be in jail, only then will I fee safe. Put his wife in there too for not cooperating enough with putting him in jail.

  19. charlie is the man!

  20. kat

    Who cares!!! My boyfriend thinks the same with me. He- is eight years older than me, lol. We met online at- Agemingle @ c o m a nice and free site for Younger- Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to- interact with each other. Maybe you wanna check out or- tell your friends.

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  22. Hi Guy’s,
    I hear Charlie Sheen was recently seen picketing at Corcoran State Prison for Phil Spector’s release.

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