Charlie Sheen is a fertile bastard

August 26th, 2008 // 40 Comments

Charlie Sheen’s done it again. “Bullseye Johnson” has knocked up another wife within just weeks of the wedding. Because nothing bonds a really weird, old actor and the bride who thinks he has money together like an immediate pregnancy. *sigh* OK! Magazine reports:

“Brooke informed me two days ago that very soon we’d be producing our own version of Two-and-a-Half Men,’” recalls the Emmy-winning actor, who is already the father to three daughters, Cassandra, 13, Samantha, 4, and 3-year-old Lola. “That would imply it’s a boy, so until we know, we’ll refer to it as ‘Two-and-a-Half People.’ We’re beyond happy to be new parents together.”

Charlie Sheen knows you can pull out, right? Just sayin’.

superficial

  1. FIRST!!!!!!!!!

  2. Mike

    Pull out…as if!!

  3. Fair play, at least I hope she’s less of a crazy bitch than Denise Richards!

  4. meeghan

    he looks like Moe Howard in that photo.

  5. havoc

    The bad news is, we’re going to see even more of that crazy Denise Richards bitch simply b/c of this.

    Thanks Charlie.

    Dick.

    .

  6. Anyone notice she bears a scary resemblance to Denise??? Or is it just me?

  7. Deacon Jones

    C’mon Charlie, why wreck a piece of ass like that IMMEDIATELY after you marry her?

    God damn, why’d he get married so soon anyway? There’s plenty of trannies in Miami…

  8. Again with the failed rubbers in hollywood, or holey-wood I should say.

  9. blah

    he always reminds me of a more conservative version of Tommy Lee for some reason. And man is he getting to be one old and scary looking dude; gettin’ a little long in the tooth there Charlie. He looks like an old man with a toupe on.

  10. She look like Ali Larter, but with boobs

  11. Chandra

    Fertile is generally attributed to women. Virile would be a more fitting adjective for a male who has a lot of kids.

  12. Shar

    WHAT, THEY AREN’T HAVING TWINS? Geeze, its not worthy news in Hollywood to just have a single preggie anymore.

  13. I would impregnate her too!

  14. idk

    Cassandre is actually 23, not 13, and goes by CJ. Do you mean to tell me the superficial does not employ a full staff of fact-checkers??

  15. Turd Ferguson

    @6

    Hey, OJ still goes after the Nicole look-alikes, so why should we expect anything else from Charlie boy?

    Remember, there are TONS of attention hungry, money grubbing, bimbos that will still be seen with these guys no matter what they do.

    @4
    That pic would be a lot sweeter if he were giving her the two finger poke in the eyes.

  16. Who is charlie’s hairdresser?
    ……..THE MILKMAN?

  17. yeah baybee

    I’d knock her up

  18. zil

    Neuter the bastard before he does any more damage to the gene pool.

  19. Sheva

    This guy’s my fucking hero. This girl is beautiful and you know he’s loving life.
    Now what is this bullshit about him not having more kids?

    He’s married! And he has plenty of dough, plenty. Idiots.

  20. rough daddy

    boy that dude loves hookers if they dont ask for money now, theyll ask for money in court later,,,minus this one of course which remain to be seen,,,congrats charlie!

  21. surlywench

    What?! You mean there was yet another woman out there mentally challenged enough to marry this confirmed douche? Wow. Just…wow. And more unnattractive Sheen babies to boot.

    Bet she’s already counting those big child support checks.

  22. zuzuspetals

    Wow, that is really horrible news. That woman is insane for having a baby with him after everything Denise went through. Jesus, he’s a pig.
    I hope some of that huge paycheck he makes is going into a fund for therapy for his children later in life. They will need it.

  23. THE REAL BARELY

    Oh goody!!! I can’t wait for the E! Entertainment Network mini-series: “The Ex-wives and assorted children of Charlie Sheen”…

    I know it will suck ass – you know how I know…? Because it’ll be directed by Emilio Estevez and that guy is the director du jour of everything that sucks ass!

    Who know who’ll play Charlie? Demi Moore.

  24. kevTHA

    he can two and a half my men any day of the week, any time of the year

  25. Obvious

    She gets a new baby-his house-his car-his money … etc…
    She also now holds his balls in her hands, and it’s up to HER just how hard to squeeze them

  26. UK_Matt

    First thought on seeing the picture – Heh, Harrisons split from Stick McBeal.

    That is all.

  27. jaime

    pull out? with a chick like that?

    you are krazy karl.

  28. Lexoka

    Their own version of Two And A Half Men? But that would also imply that his wife is a dude, right?

  29. Randal

    Charlie and Brooke, congratulations on the joy that you’ll both be bringing into the world. There’s not anyone who deserves this more.

    Randal

  30. Denise

    Um, Charlie? You do realize that “two and a half men” would also imply that your WIFE is a boy??

  31. shankyouverymuch

    ……….. “Because nothing bonds a really weird, old actor and the bride who THINKS he has money” ??? It’s been widely reported that this fool makes 830,000.00 dollars an episode of ’2 men’. I don’t think there is any “THINKS” about it. This doooosh is loaded to the rafters with cash money.

  32. NY Ted

    I hear tell that there is a trail of “little Charlies” in every Whore House in America…!!!

    Atta boy Chuck…you horny fuck…!!!

  33. Lisa

    It might just be me, but I think that they look related.

  34. mattk

    Jeez, that’s an AWFUL wig on him

  35. TK

    Lexoka – that’s what I was coming here to post too! He’s such a dolt!

    OK Magazine should get its facts straight too. Sam’s name is just Sam, not Samantha.

    He is so creepy looking not like his hot days back in the 80s.

  36. LOL

    I think he is shooting for a boy now.

  37. CONDOM MAN DOES NOT APPROVE OF THIS POST

  38. Beso Negro

    Charlie’s problem is that he never pulls out with the hookers, so he’s not really good at it. Next time you are with a hooker Charlie (which will likely be tonight) practice pulling out and aiming at the chin, or maybe at the splat tat tramp stamp on the gal’s lower back, or christ, even aim for her chocolate starfish. Once you have mastered the art of pulling out, you can then safely resume your happy time with Brooke. Or just save all these thoughts for wife #3.

  39. sheen

    Wow~~Charlie sheen? He was once a vip member of Richromances.com. He just found his girlfriend though that site one year ago.

  40. jay

    Gotta hand to it to Charlie for tapping lots of great looking gals and still not knowing when to quit hahaha. What a pair of chromosomes!

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