Charlie Sheen praises new marriage by trashing Denise Richards (Ah, to be a newlywed)

June 4th, 2008 // 73 Comments

Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller (above on their honeymoon) wed over the weekend and Charlie’s calling this his “first real marriage.” He spoke to OK! Magazine and said he’s done talking about Denise Richards – forever. Then, naturally, he spent the next hour bitching about her. For your reading pleasure, the rantings of Charlie Sheen:

He also has made a promise to himself, never to utter Richards’ name in public again. It’s a lesson he admits has taken a long time to learn.
“I’m so tired of talking about her and all her shenanigans,” he said. “It is what it is. I don’t even care anymore. I’m going to take a stand to basically never utter her name publicly again, and I think if that’s known, it will put an end to some of the drama.
“I think it’s no accident that whats-her-face chose this time to do what she did. It’s pretty obvious that Brooke and I, through our actions and union, are moving on with our lives. Perhaps somebody else should consider the same.”

How the hell does Charlie Sheen keep getting women? Are chicks into dudes who love porn, always talk about their ex and throw tantrums about the government controlling us with antibiotics? Because, please, someone tell me before I waste another dollar at the Olive Garden. I could be saving precious cash watching porn at home with Miss Right while wearing a tin-foil hat. It’d be like I was living The Bible almost.

Photos: Splash News
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  1. duh

    #19

    actually charlie has had pretty common pussy that most guys with a job or a credit card can afford. he’s all about the hookers. anybody can get a hooker.

  2. #50 no shit! Who doesn’t like porn and blow??

  3. ella

    i have that bikini. now i have to throw it away.

  4. A

    His chest looks like he got attacked with a stamp marker wielding little kid.
    And he has small feet.

  5. A

    His chest looks like he got attacked with a stamp marker wielding little kid.
    And he has small feet.

  6. butterfly

    I’m actually shocked his dick hasn’t fallen off by now.

    #51 totally agree. Any douche w/ a job can get a hooker. Or, an ATM card. Or a check..just ask Jerry Springer.

  7. Actually my bf hates that i watch porn. I need to wait till he falls asleep then sneak the laptop into the bathroom.

  8. Chupacabra

    @57 – Harley, what does that have to do with anything? Everyone sneaks around and does stuff with their genitalia when the sig. other is sleeping. duh.

  9. Ted Mosby

    Charlie loves his tuna.

  10. gev

    whats up with those gay tatoos

  11. You must have been hiding under a rock all these years. Charlie Sheen has been measured as really, REALLY surpassing most dicks by at least 3 inches.

  12. You must have been hiding under a rock all these years. Charlie Sheen has been measured as really, REALLY surpassing most dicks by at least 3 inches.

  13. spicegrrl

    #62 So he’s really just a big prick?

  14. sissy

    A great couple! Brad is a very great man, I like him so much. I saw that he is in the top 50 men list of askmen.com. He should be the TOP1 in my mind. And i heard that he appeared on a rich dating club S u g a r daddy connect . C OM with a personal account there. Is it real or just a rumor on internet?

  15. lisa

    I heard HE has a big dick. Thats why he gets pussy up the ying yang

  16. person commenting

    Neither one of them should ever hunch over.

    Charlie is so gross. I’ve never understood the attraction. Having a big cock isn’t going to be enough for me to say, ‘Ummm, well, okay. Tee Hee.’ I’m not a fan of Denise’s, but for the record, Charlie, you married her and had children with her. Why do retards reproduce? Never mind, that was rude. Retards don’t deserve that. It’s so sad that Charlie thinks he’s some sort of prize. He’ll be saying the same thing about Brooke in a few years. He’s just that classy.

    @64… sissy, get your spam in order.

  17. 58. Chupacabra

    That has to do with the quote he:

    ” Are chicks into dudes who love porn”

    so… go chupa tu mama

  18. snoopy

    i have two words…. Cloe James.
    what a dumb ass.
    I believe in karma, baby!

  19. I have started reading this book and love it so far! I just couldn’t wait for it to go in to paper back.

  20. I have started reading this book and love it so far! I just couldn’t wait for it to go in to paper back.

  21. I have started reading this book and love it so far! I just couldn’t wait for it to go in to paper back.

  22. I have started reading this book and love it so far! I just couldn’t wait for it to go in to paper back.

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