Charlie Sheen is a lucky bastard

Valerie McFarlane, one of the responding officers the night Charlie Sheen allegedly attacked Brooke Mueller, has been fired from the Aspen Police Department, according to RadarOnline:

“She is no longer working with the department,” an Administrative Supervisor for the Aspen Police Department told “Her last day was last week.” An inside source told that McFarlane “was fired for a “series of episodes'”, which includes attending and gaining free entry to the Jazz Aspen Snowmass Labor Day Festival in her police uniform while off duty; a direct violation of department policy. The source says McFarlane also gained VIP access and “snuck her daughter and her daughter’s boyfriend into the VIP area.”

While sneaking into a jazz festival is probably the most retarded crime known to man and won’t have any bearing on the Charlie Sheen case, this tidbit of info had to give his lawyer a legal boner:

McFarlane has had her fair share of domestic issues. In 2006, she petitioned for permanent custody of her daughter from the child’s father Alex Bracero, which she won in 2009 after almost three years of nasty court battles. In 2008, she was accused of grand theft auto, fraud and forgery in the state of Florida but formal charges were eventually dropped by the State’s Attorney’s Office. That same year, McFarlane was granted a permanent restraining order from ex-boyfriend Brian Deason after citing domestic abuse.

So you have a fired police officer who’s been a victim of domestic abuse making a judgment call in a case involving domestic abuse. Whoops. Now, I’m not saying Charlie Sheen didn’t do it for the simple fact it’s Charlie Sheen so of course he fucking did it, but there’s no way his legal team isn’t getting him out of this one. Especially if Denise Richards takes the stand and no less than five jurors try to throw her down a flight of stairs. “Your honor, she just opened her mouth and suddenly it was ‘Nam all over again.”

Photos: Splash News