Charlie Sheen is a great husband

December 28th, 2009 // 38 Comments

In an effort to make Elin & Tiger Woods look like pansies, Charlie Sheen allegedly attacked his drunken wife Brooke Mueller with a knife on Christmas night. While details of the incident are sketchy particularly now that Brooke is no longer cooperating with the police, the Chicago Sun-Times reminds us how awesome it is to be involved with Charlie Sheen:

In 1991 he shot then fiancee Kelly Preston in the arm — though that was ruled an ”accident.” There was a 1997 attack on girlfriend Brittany Ashland that led to him being arrested and charged with domestic battery. And of course, we can’t forget ex-wife Denise Richards’ allegations that Sheen was physically abusive with her.
Sheen’s TV show associate told me Sunday, ”Charlie’s temper is legendary. We’re always on pins and needles, not knowing when he’ll explode.”

At this point, I know everyone’s reaction is “Hey, maybe we should’ve taken Denise Richards a little more seriously.” To which I say, “Listen to Denise Richards?! Pull yourself together, man! It’s not like Charlie Sheen’s out there stabbing people.”

Oh, right.

Photos: Splash News

  1. susu


  2. first is stupid

    first sucks— what’s wrong with that?

  3. Que

    Que lookin gud Charly.

  4. sam

    i love 2 and a half men so this man can get away with murder in my book

  5. AVX

    So I guess in “Two And A Half Men” he’s the half-man.

  6. zuzuspetals

    What a gross pig. I can’t believe any woman had anything to do with him after what Denise Richards reported.

  7. zuzuspetals

    What a gross pig. I can’t believe any woman had anything to do with him after what Denise Richards reported.

  8. zuzupetals

    And the saddest part is that there are now 4 little children (Denise’s two and Brooke’s twins) who have a shitty, abusive father. They will spend the rest of their lives tip-toeing around his temper as well.
    Those women were idiots to have kids with him knowing what an angry person he is.

  9. edge6241

    Don’t take this literally, but how are you that far behind on this story?

    Right now, TMZ has found that the Wife was A) intoxicated at the time she made the call and B) is retracting the story.

    Further, the police have made it known that while the investigation is continuing, there is a chance that they will go after the wife for false accusations.

    Continue with what might amount to be libel I guess…I mean you’re only 2 days behind in the story, with most of the facts tending to show Sheen as a person who defended himself from his Wife’s attacks. All of this according to TMZ from a day or two ago.

  10. edge6241

    I should note I’m talking about your comments after the first paragraph and block quote. It seems like your commenting on stuff without knowing the added tidbits of information you mentioned in the above paragraph.

    And, now that I think of it, it’s not really libel since we can tell its your opinion. But still, wait till all the facts are there before we jump on another. Your coverage of Tiger was spot on in that way. This just seems rushed.

  11. Deacon Jones

    @9 and 10

    What’s up Charlie!?

    Loved you in Platoon brotha!

  12. zuzuspetals

    What are you talking about? The knife wasn’t reported until last night. And so she was drunk- who cares? Just because she was drunk doesn’t mean he wasn’t menacing her. The only way that’s important to the story is that just about the time that she sobered up, she realized that he would probably get out of jail and KILL her- that’s why she recanted.
    Charlie Sheen is an abusive piece of shit, and there is plenty of evidence to support that.

  13. SHEEN vs. NORDEGREN 2010

  14. Scdo

    He should be more like the Charlie from ’2 and a Half Men’ rather than the real Charlie. Then everything would be funnier and less violent.

  15. Jim

    Apparently, he picks women who just won’t fucking listen.

  16. the biotch

    hey edge6241:

    lighten up. this isn’t the NY fucking Times. it’s a *gossip* site.

  17. Anon

    Wait domestic abuse is wrong now?
    But Tiger Woods missus is…
    Oh I give up. Too many typical female double standards.

  18. Viv

    The Fish was on holydays, ok…but coming back from the holydays is no excuse to post yesterday’s news on your first day back, it looks lazy and unprofessional, even for a gossip site.

    Everyone might think edge6241 has a temper problem but he(or she) is right on. Fish not only forgot to do his homework, he is also filling his day with old posts…”best of 2009″ top ten and he’s on #9? How long is it gonna take him to get to #1?

    I think the fans deserve better.

  19. Rough night long

    Shape up Fish! Since Rupert Murdock is trying to find a way to charge suckers for content over the net. The Superficial is where Iam going to get my news…

  20. Anexio

    Does anyone ever think, like I do, that Mrs. Charlie Sheen might want to shut her big fat yap?

    A man can only hear the same stupid shit over and over and then he pops.

    Friggin’ society says you cant do that. What a load of crap.


  21. gotmilk?

    who thought this fool had his act together? i guess his current wife is too young to know what kind of shit this guy has pulled. whatever, i couldn’t care less if the chick is now retracting her story.

  22. So it’s a stabbing now? When I first heard about this it was just a choking incident (as in, “Is Charlie Sheen gonna have to choke a bitch?”)

  23. Classy Ron

    Charlie doesn’t need knives or guns, he can kill you from the inside, like he apparently did to Chloe Jones (from her Wikipedia bio):

    Before Jones was able to make her comeback, however, her health began to fail. She died in 2005. Her death was attributed to liver failure caused by years of alcohol and prescription drug abuse. She was addicted to the painkiller Vicodin. Jones died in a charity hospital. She was buried at Woodlawn Garden of Memories in Houston, Texas.

    After Jones’ death, Sheen’s wife, Denise Richards filed a restraining order against Sheen, stating in court papers that he did not deny involvement in Jones’ death. In May 2006, American tabloid The Globe published an alleged interview with Jones’ mother, named as Donna Jones, claiming that she was considering a wrongful death suit against Sheen, as Chloe Jones told her of receiving death threats.

    Charlie Sheen will kill your liver with mind bullets!

  24. truth doctor

    Couldn’t have happened to a better liberal douche. “Do as I say, not as I do!”

  25. @ 9-10 – More facts just in: Sheen had an ineptly made bomb that burned his pants off. He was sub-literate, musty smelling, covered in lice, doesn’t understand what soap is for, and said more just like him are on the way.

  26. trixie

    Typicall liberal, he has to hit girls to feel like a man. I bet he sucks in bed too.

  27. Aerialgreen

    @27: really? we’re lucky the 911 operators don’t ask what’s your political stand before offering you help…. yet.

  28. serena

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  29. me again

    I wonder who the next dummy to marry him is gonna be. Dumb women. He’ll never change. He is an abuser… I always believed Denise. I am not a fan, but she obviously fought to protect her girls. Now he has two sons that I am sure he will try to raise as abusers like him. Too bad.

  30. Its a shameful act by the actor to attack his drunken wife Brooke Mueller with a knife on Christmas. Charlie has a history of violence.

  31. Nero

    I don’t know what they’re whining about.Easy money that comes with a price.

  32. Boogeyman King Dong

    The price in this case is Charlie Sheen himself.

  33. Galtacticus

    He shouldn’t take any gold digger that easy.

  34. Darth

    They’re gonna divorce,child support settlement,good and bad guy and so on.The Gold Rush never did stop.

  35. Ijole

    Women are so stupid, they never learn.

  36. I can’t believe, why people think, all women are stupid?

  37. Will this pic be on his Christmas cards next year?

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