Charlie Sheen’s Going on Another Porn Star Bender – With Brooke Mueller

February 24th, 2011 // 30 Comments

Charlie Sheen is scheduled to return to work on Tuesday after a forced hiatus that cost the cast and crew of Two and a Half Men an entire month of income, so you’d assume he’d want to put his best foot forward and take it easy. Except if you did that you’d be an idiot because he just loaded a private jet with his new girlfriend Natalie Kenly, porn star Bree Olson and ex-wife Brooke Mueller who’s more than likely having the largest relapse of her life. TMZ reports:

Charlie Sheen boarded his private jet this afternoon along with his two new girlfriends and ex-wife Brooke Mueller … and took off for an island near the Bahamas for a private adult vacation … sans Charlie’s kids.

Brooke has reportedly been staying at Charlie’s house until her mansion in his neighborhood is ready, so I don’t think anyone should be shocked that this was the outcome of a former drug addict finding an entire linen closet stuffed with blow. The writing was on the swollen vagina.

BROOKE: What do we have here? *snorrrrrrrrrrrttttttt* Everyone into the jet! I’ll fly.
CHARLIE: Whoa, whoa, whoa. I have to work on Tuesday. — PFFFT. Hahaha! Could you imagine if I was serious? I’ll get some porn stars out of the basement.
BROOKE: Do I have to have sex with them?
CHARLIE: Ummm… yes.
BROOKE: Then we’re taking this whole closet. *rips it out of the wall*

Photos: Flynet

superficial

  1. ludichrisspeed

    Just googled ‘Real American Hero’ and Charlie Sheen is finally showing up ahead of GI Joe and Bud Light commercials.

    • Bahahahaha, ludichrisspeed wins the internet!

    • Happy Spillmore

      So VERY True.

      Charlie has now surpassed General George Patton as the most badass human to ever live and command an army, albeit a different kind of army (pornstars, cokewhores and your typical, everyday stupid female.)

      Ten Hut!!

      • Deacon Jones

        This seriously has to be the first case I’ve heard of when a guy talks his ex-wife into joining a drug-fueled 5 day orgy with porn stars.

        I can’t even come close to thinking of something similar.

      • Which is exactly why I think sheen should run for President in 2012. If he can get his ex wife Denise Richards to cover for him with the police after he bangs a porn star in a hotel room while she sleeps 2 doors from him in the same hotel, then gets his 3rd ex wife (Who charged him with assault previously) to hop on a plane and go on a week long coke and sex party with porn stars, he surely can get teh budget fixed, bring peace to the middle east, and get the republicans and democrats to agree on everything!!!!

  2. gogo

    so you really gave up..

  3. Hugh Gentry

    I can’t wait to see how this turns out!!

  4. Rough part the internet

    I’m dropping my lawsuit vs Mr Sheen because, he’s doing shit I would never even dream of doing.

  5. Sweet Pee

    A female posse. Well, there goes my Charlie Sheen is gay comment. When is CPS going to check into Ms. Brooke?

  6. Do you know how I know Brooke Mueller is flat ass broke now?

    Funny how running out of money turns “restraining order for domestic abuse” into “Hey, can I come along on the Coke Party Porn Plane?”

  7. Lucas

    Rock on Cappy!

  8. Patrick Swayze as Jed Eckart

    It’s gonna be all right Matty, It’ll all be over soon Matty….

  9. Seargent Barnes

    Death? What do y’all know about death?

  10. Deacon Jones

    Holy shit man….

    She has NO SHAME. Then again, when you’re chasing nose butter, you never do!

  11. Seargent Elias

    We’re going to lose this war, you know.

  12. Heather Locklear

    I asked to come too, but Charlie said I was too old and haggy looking. Plus my vag looks like upside down bunny ears now…

  13. Deacon Jones

    I wonder what that phone call to the parents was like..

    *SNORT*
    “Mom, it’s me Brooke! Listen! I need you to do something for me, I need you to watch the kids for the next 5 days!”
    *SNORT*
    “Don’t worry about me, I’m going with Charlie to an island with his girlfriend and a porn star. I”LL BE FINE”
    *SNORT*
    “Ok, love ya, bye!”

  14. dumbass

    Why the heck don’t we ever hear about some teenaged boy with cancer being brought along on one of these coke party pornstar private jet to the bahamas parties with Charlie Sheen? I’d think that would be the number one request at the make a wish foundation. The sheer awesomeness of Charlie Sheen would probably cure their cancer instantly! I have a mild head cold and athlete’s foot, maybe I should sign up for the make a wish foundation and see if I can get on board the Sheen jet of super awesomeness?

  15. I keep telling you all, Charlie Sheen for President in 2012!!!

    • Bob & Doug McKenzie

      Uh, Take of your toque hoser, you dont have a president in Canada, its called a Prime Minister.

      So if you knew that, please refrain from dabbling in another countries politics, just like you complain about the US doing, between your maxi pad changes.

      Thanks…and Take Off!

  16. Brooke Mueller
    Double D
    Commented on this photo:

    If Charlie Sheen can somehow also get Denise Richards to join him for a 5-some I’m accepting him into my heart as my personal Lord and Savior.

  17. Brooke Mueller
    Double D
    Commented on this photo:

    If Charlie Sheen can somehow also get Denise Richards to join him for a 5-some he needs more than a star on the walk of fame. He needs to be deified.

  18. Uh, to the idiot person using worn out Canadian Stereotypes, this is the Superficial, if anyone takes what I said SERIOUSLY, then you shouldn’t be ALLOWED to vote douchebag. See, most readers would have found my comments outrageous, outlandish, and some even humorous but NO ONE in their right mind would think I was trying to meddle in your politics. Assclowns like you should really not be permitted to own handguns, drive vehicles, or leave their parents basement. EVER.

  19. Where the hell are Brooke & Charlie’s children? Even all his money won’t be able to cover that lifelong therapy. Poor things!

  20. Baby Remedies

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