Charlie Sheen Was ‘Laughing Too Hard at the TV.’ Of Course.

January 28th, 2011 // 36 Comments

Before we get into this, let me bring you up to speed on Charlie Sheen‘s condition, he’s the fucking Highlander. The man was hospitalized yesterday for a hernia and not a drug overdose because let’s assume he’s built up a tolerance so strong Colombia would need to clone itself twice just to get him high. Now, how did he get a hernia? While logic and reason suggest banging porn stars for 36 hours straight, Charlie’s people have their own excuse which makes, “It was an allergic reaction,” look like goddamn amateur hour. Extra reports:

Our source, Charlie’s friend Steve Brodersen, tells “Extra” the pain is the result of a hernia injury, worsened when Sheen laughed too hard at the TV.

Except this story is actually half true. Charlie was watching TV, but not just watching. No, no he was offering critical analysis on a subject he’s extremely passionate about: Filming women having lots of sex. Via TMZ:

There are many wild details, but we’re told eventually Charlie ended up in his theater room with one of the porn stars with whom he was partying. They watched 3 hours of porn, as Charlie critiqued the action on the screen.
We’re told Charlie, who fancies himself as a porn connoisseur, was questioning his companion about angles and body shots. We’re told the porn star was “surprised” by the depth of Charlie’s knowledge.

“Okay, I can understand the angle in this shot, but- Whoa. What? Oh my god. They cut to the anal scene now? HAHAHA! Can you believe this shit? Jesus, who was the director? Denise Richards? AHAHAH- *pop* My hernia!”

Alright, I’m on board.

Photos: WENN

superficial

  1. It make sense to me.

  2. Charlie Sheen
    kayk
    Commented on this photo:

    Well I doubt he was watching two and a half men.

  3. omigod

    I so sympathize with Denise Richards now

  4. Mortimer Duke

    His people keep on feeding us the Kool-Aid like we stupid.

    Someone had better protect the cash cow and stop indulging him or its back to being a PA on any random SyFy show once this guy kicks the bucket.

  5. Michelle

    HAHAHAHAHA the last part killed me!

  6. MLVC

    PLEASE DIE>>>>>>PLEASE DIE…..I AM SO SICK OF HIS NON TALENTED ASS…DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE

    • Keyser Soze

      Charlie Sheen is awesome, I, for one, hope he keeps up his whore-mongering ways for years too come. You have to admit, he’s got talent at being such an awesome fuck-up, and he can truly say, “been there, done that”.

  7. mamamiasweetpeaches

    You know what? I dont wanna see Charlie Sheen go out “in a blaze of glory”, dying of an OD in a room ful of drugs and hookers. I really want him to die in the stupidest way possible. I want him to either slip on a bar of soap in the shower or drown when he passes out throwing up in a toilet. Something stupid like that.

    By the way, its weird how this has worked full circle. I used to wanna sleep with Martin Sheen, then I wanted to sleep with Charlie Sheen and now Charlie Sheen scares me so Im back to wanting to sleep with his Pops. Its Full Circle.

  8. Jill

    Superficial, you are absolutely the most witty, hilarious, bang on writer ever put on this planet. I bow to you!

  9. CakeSnifferer

    He sure as hell wasn’t watching Two and a Half Men.

  10. Deacon Jones

    I wonder how much he pays his publicist. His office is probably similar to the floor of the New York Stock Exchange.

  11. Charlie Sheen is the James Lipton of porn.

  12. Someone REALLY needs to step in and get this guy some help. He’s having too many episodes so close together and on a quick road to death.

  13. Charlie Sheen
    cynical spinster
    Commented on this photo:

    When did Corey Feldman become relevant again?

  14. Jimmy Crotche

    Just die. I’ll get alot of points in the office Death Pool is he drops dead.

  15. slappy magoo

    Laughing too hard at the TV? Must not have been watching Two…oh screw you Cake Snifferer…jumping on my obvious lines and shit…

  16. Lady Blah Blah

    They pumped his stomach and found his missing watch.

    • lisa

      LMFAO! You rock Blah Blah! :P

    • mamamiasweetpeaches

      yeah. That was a good one.

      Ive been on this page like 3 or 4 times today. I havent seen posts this funny in a long time. I guess Charlie Sheen INSPIRES us in some weird way.

  17. Steve

    Laughing at the TV while Lindsay Lohan was finishing a “powdered donut”.

  18. Juanse

    I almost pop an hernia reading this article. Good job, Superficial sir.

  19. mr noitall

    …was rehearsing for his new sitcom “Two and a Half Grams.”

  20. Charlie Sheen
    reformed_druid
    Commented on this photo:

    My god, he looks like he has aged 10 years in the last 6 months. What the hell is his dysfunction anyway?

  21. lisa

    Fish, whoever you are, I read this site primarily for your incomparable, absolutely HI-Larious commentary and as usual am not disappointed. Funniest post ever dude! Haha!

  22. Satan's bitch

    Totally on a roll today, Fish! Man, I almost popped Charlie’s hernia laughing.

  23. somethingoriginal

    Oh man, I’m going to laugh so hard tonight.

  24. Charlie Sheen
    Mike Walker
    Commented on this photo:

    LET ME SHOW YA SOMETHIN’!!

  25. bitingontinfoil

    AHAHAHA! *pop!* My hernia!

    …wow…still lmao at that one! *giggle*

  26. ur all so halarious!!i hate him soooo much..boycotted his show and all his movies long ago…it started with him beating his women up and from then on i just knew d guy was just waaaaay too much of a loser…maybe he’s got hpv already and a huge wart on his d****..hopefully it’ll fall off and d sadness of it all will just slowly and painfully lead him to his demise…

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