Before we get into this, let me bring you up to speed on Charlie Sheen‘s condition, he’s the fucking Highlander. The man was hospitalized yesterday for a hernia and not a drug overdose because let’s assume he’s built up a tolerance so strong Colombia would need to clone itself twice just to get him high. Now, how did he get a hernia? While logic and reason suggest banging porn stars for 36 hours straight, Charlie’s people have their own excuse which makes, “It was an allergic reaction,” look like goddamn amateur hour. Extra reports:
Our source, Charlie’s friend Steve Brodersen, tells “Extra” the pain is the result of a hernia injury, worsened when Sheen laughed too hard at the TV.
Except this story is actually half true. Charlie was watching TV, but not just watching. No, no he was offering critical analysis on a subject he’s extremely passionate about: Filming women having lots of sex. Via TMZ:
There are many wild details, but we’re told eventually Charlie ended up in his theater room with one of the porn stars with whom he was partying. They watched 3 hours of porn, as Charlie critiqued the action on the screen.
We’re told Charlie, who fancies himself as a porn connoisseur, was questioning his companion about angles and body shots. We’re told the porn star was “surprised” by the depth of Charlie’s knowledge.
“Okay, I can understand the angle in this shot, but- Whoa. What? Oh my god. They cut to the anal scene now? HAHAHA! Can you believe this shit? Jesus, who was the director? Denise Richards? AHAHAH- *pop* My hernia!”
Alright, I’m on board.