Charlie Sheen Wants Mila Kunis Now

April 7th, 2011 // 88 Comments

Apparently Charlie Sheen watched Black Swan recently because now he can’t shut up about making Mila Kunis one of his goddesses. Also, cocaine makes you a delusional egomaniac. Probably should point that out, too. RadarOnline reports:

“Here’s the good news – my goddesses have already f**king approved her. She’s pre-approved!” Sheen said. “I would have great tolerance for many missing items provided it involves Mila f**king Kunis: If Mila Kunis is stealing your s**t , trust me, you’re still f**king winning, you’re still winning at that moment.
“I’m going to go on her Facebook page and discover her likes… I’m going to buy them all and then she can come steal them. A super f**king hot thief named Mila Kunis. Mila, please, we we have a warehouse full of your favorite s**t to steal.”

It really says a lot about Charlie’s relationship with his goddesses that his first reaction to bringing Mila onboard is he won’t care if she steals his shit. Clearly these chicks are robbing him blind and there’s nothing he can do about it because how else is he going to get laid? Go on dates? AHAHAHAHA! You can’t pull a knife at Olive Garden. He’s tried.

Photos: Getty, Splash News


  1. wishbone

    She’s gorgeous. Charlie’s whores can’t hold a candle to her looks-wise.

  2. cc

    It would probably take Mila Kunis less time to find a better choice in men that it will take me to type this.

    Sheen’s not even funny anymore (if he ever was). He’s just a fuckin’ clown.

  3. Charlie Sheen Mila Kunis
    Commented on this photo:

    Proud to say she never had Charlie Sheen

  4. Charlie Sheen thinks that Mila Kunis is pretty? Well, I never!

    Maurice! Help me put my armor on. Looks like this damsel can use a white knight.

  5. charlie sheen can only get woman who are broke

    charlie sheen looks like mr. magoo.

    mila kunis wants a guy with a lot of sex appeal not fucking mr. magoo.

    she can pay for her own shit that she likes because she’s fucking rich.

    the days of him getting really good looking celebrity actresses who are not porn stars are over! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HE BLEW IT! LOSING!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA DUHHHHH!

  6. Charlie Sheen Mila Kunis
    Commented on this photo:

    I want her so bad. I WILL have her. (one day)

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