Charlie Sheen Supports Lindsay. Oh, Good.

September 30th, 2010 // 39 Comments
Charlie Sheen at Playboy Mansion

While her mom, and now dad, make their respective moves for the conservatorship they’ve always dreamed of, Lindsay Lohan is getting support from a man who has to have made her new publicist shit at least five kittens if not a pack of marmosets. RadarOnline reports:

“I think she’s doing the best that she can,” [Charlie Sheen] told reporter Katie Rhames.
“It’s not easy to begin with… but then you put it under the bright lights of this circus and it makes it that much more difficult. People just need to leave her alone and let her do her thing.”
Sheen added: “I think at the end of the day she’ll win.”

While some might consider the words of Charlie Sheen to be nothing but the rantings of a madman hell-bent on forcing women to breastfeed with a gun, I actually see at it as a realistic vote of confidence. Plus all that other stuff. Here’s a guy who just got away with putting a knife to his wife’s throat and threatening to kill her in a crack-filled rage, only to spend the time before his slap on the wrist banging hookers. The man knows a thing or two about celebrity justice. For his next trick, he’ll probably hijack a school bus, launch it off Space Mountain then receive a medal of honor for his dedication to keeping kids in school. — I’m giving Lindsay’s pointers, aren’t I? Goddammit…

Photos: Splash News

The Superficial is in Vacation Mode this week. Normal posting resumes Monday, Oct. 4.


  1. Taz

    Charlie may have had more women than Ron

    • I think that would be extraordinarily unlikely.

      • bitingontinfoil

        The difference being Ron Jeremy got PAID for being with those women – Charlie HAD TO PAY. (that’s not the *only* BIG difference between the two) ;)

      • Brooke

        That is a very good and sad point. If the situation was reversed, it would make sense that a man that looks like Ron had to pay for it, and a man that looked like Charlie was getting paid. The universe deals some interesting cards.

      • The Real TAB

        GREAT point, ‘bitingontinfoil ‘ AND to top it off, he dimed out Heidi Fleiss. The new episodes of “Two and-a-Half Men,” he looks like he is whacked out on coke and looks like shit.

        I guess I would too, given I just beat an attempted murder charge, while whacked on coke..

        Fuckin’ unbelieveable the judicial system is to celebra-tards.

      • Pat C

        As he once said, he doesn’t have to pay to have sex, he pays because the pros leave when the sex is over.

      • Sheen has gotten away with more than we will ever attempt in a lifetime. Why do slimeballs like this bother to get married when they are going to fuck around on their wives anyways? Save the Divorce money and buy more HO’S!!!!

        BTW, Ron Jeremy is so hung he can suck on his own … and barely bend down. Bastard. He’s also quite funny and has some acting chops, which is why he made it so big in porn. That and his monster penis.

  2. Kill em with Roughness

    Hey Charlie? Why don’t you stop hijacking quotes from Greg Giraldo’s therapist.

  3. John Galt

    Is that Ron Jeremy creeping in the background?

  4. MightyD

    I’m confused. Is this Charlie Sheen in the picture or Charlie Harper?

  5. M

    Why does he always have that douchous fucking look on his face? Every time I see him, I just want to punch him in his serial killer eyeballs.

  6. Nero

    Eek! Who’s reponisble!

  7. Gando

    This might be the best news Lilo has heard in years.

  8. Hes just trying to get in lindsays pants. Take a number, slick..

    Just read tony curtis died. He was cool. He said tits on conan once. I bought a signed marilyn from him about 10 years ago. Not only a talented actor but a decent painter. And The Persuaders inspired me to look at women as objects lol. Rest in peace. May the schwartz be with u..

    • afroballz

      Wow, that was fascinating. You have stepped in during Fish’s vacation and posted one intriguing comment after another! A great week for you, for sure. You should start your own blog…for me to poop on.

  9. Viv

    Who cares!!! the guy from all those porn movies is in the pic!!!.
    Long time no see!!! he might not have good looks but he sure knows how to use his dick, and he profited from it.

  10. herbiefrog

    …thanks man

    [see babe… told you we’d make it…

  11. bitingontinfoil

    Is it just me or has Charlie ended up looking like one of those old “apple head” dolls? (Look it up people)

  12. stevebeagle

    he’s really starting to look like a tired old jew,,& i aint talkin bout that tired old jew Ron Jeremy.

  13. waldo

    Dina is such a fucking cunt. She probably took a cumshot up the nose from Sheen last week.

    Is euthanasia legal for adult female bitches?

  14. Spunge

    The most amazing thing about this post? Fish made no mention of the Hedgehog!

    • Righty Whitey

      Fish doesn’t know who Ron Jeremy “The Hedgehog” is, because he only watches gay porn. But lately he just pleasures himself while picturing Obomma raising taxes and giving more freebies to minorities.

  15. captain america

    his next Role is stand up comedian?

  16. Wolife

    What he said wasn’t too far off, really. Gotta get her away from her parents, though. I don’t know why conservatorship has to go to one of those assholes. The Court should appoint someone independently to look after HER best interests.

  17. Bob

    Please Charlie, no Lindsay Lohan win.

  18. Christy C.

    the chick on the right looks just like Angelina Jolie blonde

  19. Pat C

    Has Charlie Sheen’s nose always been this long and pointy?

  20. Bunny Foofoo

    Is Charlie Sheen dating porn stars again? *rolls eyes*

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