Charlie Sheen’s Last Goddess Quit

June 27th, 2011 // 40 Comments

“But I tiger warlock beamed her F18 receptor… Had to be the Vatican.

Following in the snail trails of Bree Olson, Charlie Sheen‘s final goddess Natalie Kenly has officially fled Clam Manor which is usually what happens when prostitutes get asked for a freebie. TMZ reports:

Sources close to Charlie tell TMZ, Natalie Kenly moved out last week — but hell hath no fury like a Warlock scorned … because we’re told, the actor DEMANDED she return the Mercedes he bought her.
According to sources close to the actor, Charlie brushed off the break-up, claiming it’s “not a common thing for the Masheen!”

Of course, if Charlie Sheen wants to come out of this not looking like a sad, broke drug addict who ranted his entire career away for a mangled poon buffet, he should consider drunkenly wrapping a Porsche around a tree at 130 mph because I’m pretty sure the same people who think he’s “winning” are the same ones who consider that an act of heroism. Or am I thinking of using your sphincter as a Hot Wheels track? Either way, they’ll still name a state holiday after him if I understand California law correctly. *runs finger along page* Yup, and buried next to Reagan. I’ll get the Lokos.

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. Juano

    Out of cash, out of luck, out of his mind.

    • Jill

      Nevermind that- he’s out of pussy!

    • LJ

      He’s got a long way to go before he’s outta cash. Natalie just made enough in the past few months to hold her over for the next decade, so it was time to hit the road.

    • The MAN

      Big mistake to drop Bree Olsen. I watched a great couple of movies with her this weekend. Bree’s Beach Adventure 3 and Bree’s Summer Camp. She has a tight and wet snatch that looks as if it would satisfy! Maybe this dude or dud could not satisfy?

  2. doi

    nothing sets off an Armani suit like a ‘bama cap

  3. Deacon Jones

    Is he still doing the truth tour?

  4. American Bandersnatch

    Boy, 15 minutes seems to go by quicker and quicker.

  5. Charlie Sheen Goddess Natalie Kenly
    Pussy Galore
    Commented on this photo:

    Pic #8….Nice back acne. Slut.

  6. Hugh Gentry

    he needs to get some chicks with big tits.

  7. Kenly had his name tattooed on her foot as well. I feel sorry for this guy now. It’s sad. Why do people flush their lives down the crapper?

  8. That's Retarded

    that’s retarded

  9. Drew

    In before the legion of Ryan Dunn “fans” fresh from sucking Bam’s cock come to defend his “heroism”.

    • dunn was ‘an’ hero…. one that wrecked nine cars we know of FIVE YEARS before this accident. he was on a one way trip all along.

      strangely not one person on thedeadpool had dunn listed for this year. sheen otoh is on 15% of entries

  10. Steelerchick

    Maybe he thought she was the Dumbo ride at Disneyland. Her ears are huge.

  11. Cock Dr

    She must have smoked through a haystack of weed on Charlie’s dime before calling it quits.
    Tell us your “mangled poon buffet” story Ms. Kenly
    *waves a twenty*

  12. Charlie Sheen Goddess Natalie Kenly
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    This girl is a mess.

  13. Rancid

    Dumb fuck. I NEVER buy one of my whores a car until I know for sure she’s the real deal.

    I’m severely disappointed in Charlie and Hef. These guys are losing it. They can’t keep their hookers on the reservation. It’s out of control.

  14. From Charkie Sheen’s house to the streetcorner what an upgrade!

  15. Charlie Sheen Goddess Natalie Kenly
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh yes, I see, the ears make her easy to handle.

  16. Charlie Sheen Goddess Natalie Kenly
    Commented on this photo:

    Perhaps he can spend more on dentists now.

  17. cc

    Apparently, there’s a fast-moving genetic adaptation that lets your nose grow to accomodate the need for more blow.

    Scientists should be looking into this.

  18. Charlie Sheen Goddess Natalie Kenly
    Commented on this photo:

    Thats all bling bling he bought for you????? Poor you, you should learn how to ask the right price. Perhaps you should ask Crystal Harris for help or Kim Kardashian, they know how to do it right.

  19. So the caboose on the ho train finally left the station. Seems like Charlie is “The Little Engine That Couldn’t Get It Up”.

  20. Rick Nielson from Cheap Trick called and he wants his look from 1979 back.

  21. zomgbie

    #DUMPED!!!!!!

  22. TomFrank

    That’s my last goddess climbing o’er the wall
    Looking as if she were sober. I call
    That piece of ass a wonder now…

    (For all the English majors.)

  23. Todd

    “You really have to get your hands around their necks tightly. If the girls don’t think you are really going to kill them, they might leave you. That’s the key to being a good actor.”

  24. Charlie Sheen Goddess Natalie Kenly
    Gross
    Commented on this photo:

    No wonder why she left him, he wouldn’t squeeze those zits on her back for her!!! What good is he if he won’t pop her zits for her!!!!

  25. Soupofdefish

    I had it in my hands, i squeezed as hard as I could but it all slipped away.

  26. Charlie and Hugh need to have a skank-off.

  27. Charlie Sheen Goddess Natalie Kenly
    Commented on this photo:

    And the thought of fucking THIS, dear people, is why I will never become a prostitute.

  28. the captain

    after she punched him, he simply didn’t want to see the dentist.
    ………THAT WAS ALL!!

  29. Charlie Sheen Goddess Natalie Kenly
    Susan
    Commented on this photo:

    Trying to care … trying to care…….. Nope. Don’t care.

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