Charlie Sheen: ‘Sheen’s Korner is a Shtick’

March 8th, 2011 // 91 Comments

Despite labeling his past two episodes “Torpedoes of Truth” and calling them “sermons,” Charlie Sheen is now trying to claim his new Ustream show “Sheen’s Korner” is entirely fictional after finding out Brooke Mueller planned to use them as evidence in their custody battle. Whoops! #PlanBetter RadarOnline reports:

“It’s a character in a piece of fiction. … Think Lenny Bruce or the Mitchell Bros. It’s part of my shtick.”
… As we previously reported, Mueller’s legal team of Sorrell Trope and Lori Howe will use that webcast to make an argument that the embattled actor is spiraling out of control.
Responding to that, Sheen told RadarOnline.com: “OK, well they should use Two and Half Men to say I am a drunk and sleep with wh*res. That’s all I am gonna say. That’s my answer. Bring it. It’s so f*cking stupid, if that’s the best they’ve got.“

First off, I’m pretty sure Charlie’s 800 interviews covered that part about sleeping with whores. As for this being “the best they’ve got,” I don’t think it gets any better in a custody hearing than video evidence of a violent drug addict saying he wants to cut the throats of children. So now Charlie has to decide: Is he delivering pure warlock truth to his followers or is he trying to hawk Tiger Blood T-shirts by pretending he’s imparting winning knowledge? I understand the people who still worship him at this point are technically retarded because even the libertarians realized this shit is getting ridiculous and this was like porn to them, but eventually he either has to actually decapitate an enemy or somehow land a job that pays as much or more than Two and a Half Men to prove he had the best plan all along. Otherwise, congratulations, you’re just another junkie who got fired from his job, except with a million Twitter followers because people want to laugh at you spectacularly killing yourself in a fit of crazy talk. (I’ve got twenty on his last words being “Minotaur balls.”)



Video streaming by Ustream

Photos: Pacific Coast News

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  1. Deacon Jones

    I wonder what his lungs look like.

    • Cock Dr

      The lungs are likely very dark & filthy.
      Teeth falling out, drastic weight loss, skin looks terrible.
      Apparently doing huge amounts of street drugs, chain smoking & banging a multitude of prostitutes ain’t exactly the fountain of youth it’s cracked up to be.

  2. that lighting makes him look like he has full blown AIDS

  3. Network

    The son of Howard Beale.

    • Network

      “I probably took more [drugs] than anybody could survive… I was bangin’ seven-gram rocks and finishing them because that’s how I roll, because I have one speed, one gear. Go. I’m different. I have a different constitution. I have a different brain. I have a different heart. I got tiger blood, man. Dying’s for fools, dying’s for amateurs.” — Charlie Sheen

      “This is not a psychotic episode. This is a cleansing moment of clarity. I am imbued, Max. I am imbued with some special spirit. It’s not a religious feeling at all. It is a shocking eruption of great electrical energy. I feel vivid and flashing as if suddenly I had been plugged into some great electro-magnetic field. I feel connected to all living things, to flowers, birds, to all the animals of the world and even to some great unseen living force, what I think the Hindus call prana.” — Howard Beale

  4. Mel

    Let them take the kids Charlie. Do something right now, OK?

  5. rican

    Jeff Probst on acid

  6. SumitGill

    1:31: fat bald spot.

  7. Alex Rodriguez

    He should be used in 2011 Yankee commercials.

  8. And so begins the prediction of “All of it was an elaborate Joaquin Phoenix type divergence”. If I’m right, I’ll buy myself a nice bottle of bourbon. If wrong, back to Maker’s Mark.

    • Matthew

      I called the same thing a few days ago….either way, this is genius. You know, if the guy were to charge .99 to watch this, he’d be rolling in even more cash.

  9. Elle

    So…Martin Sheen? Is he still around? Or does he not have access to anything. Cause daddy needs to bitch slap the silly off of Charlie…

  10. noooooooooo

    Shtick… yeah I’m gonna have to say no. This isn’t acting it’s just sad pathetic reality punching him and everyone else in the face.

  11. Colin

    Because it’s Two-and-a-Half Men that makes us think he’s a drunk and he sleeps with whores.

  12. Peggy

    I don’t think he’s mentally ill or on drugs, the whole thing is an act, and he’s a very good actor, don’t you people get it.

    • noooooooooo

      You just discovered his perfect excuse for all of this.

      He’s a method actor and the hookers, cocaine, booze and behavior were just him trying to figure out how his character behaves in “crazy fucker: the movie”

    • Righteous, dude

      You’re shitting us, right?

      • noooooooooo

        Me? Yes of course, I really hope a movie called “Crazy Fucker: The Movie” would be more entertaining.

        Them? I really hope not or they’re mainlining something lethal to be in such a state.

    • Brooke

      Trust me he’s on drugs…He may make an excuse for this and say it was acting, but it’s not like this is anything new, he’s done drugs and hookers for years. Yet all of a sudden he’s gonna say it was acting, lol

  13. Charlie Sheen
    Elle
    Commented on this photo:

    Does he have a tattoo that says “winner”?

  14. welldoneson

    “Everything is unfolding as I have forseen”.

  15. damn

    Holy shit he is in a total manic phase. Absolutely delusional. It’s like watching someone in a psych ward. These assholes who kiss his ass know he is bonkers and don’t even care.

  16. Snooki's Taint

    It must be schtick! Charlie is doing a real-life performance of last season’s Entourage. Whores, blow, it all makes sense now.

  17. Satan's bitch

    Speaking in all seriousness as the surviving sib of a looney-fucking-tunes drug addict, I can tell you from first hand experience that this ain’t no act. Couldn’t even watch 2 minutes of that ranting without having a fucking flashback.

    Charlie’s fucked up. He’s lost. There’s no one who can save him, not his dad, his whores, his children. If he doesn’t stop the roller coaster and hop the hell off, he is a dead man.

    All those asshole enabling sycophants around him should go down blazing with him too.

    • noooooooooo

      Yeah, the constant shifting, twitching, looking around and etc as the video started up reminded me of a friend that I knew who was addicted. It’s not an act, it’s batshit crazy.

    • Brooke

      I agree with you…My dad was on meth for as long as I can remember and has been clean now for around 8 years, but it took open heart surgery to finally scare him enough to stop. There is no way this is acting and anyone that has had a loved one on crystal, cocaine, crack, ect. knows the signs and symptoms. This is not acting….

  18. A New Hope

    (New season of 2 & 1/2 Men opens)
    Opening scene: A cemetary.
    John Cryer’s character and son are burying Charlie Sheen’s character.
    “Winning” jokes all around.
    Scene two: The Beach House
    Judith’s second husband knocks on the door and tells Cryer’s character that the marriage is over. He needs a place to stay.

    Take it away, comedians! We’re back in Business!!! WITHOUT Carlos Estevez!

    • the only opinion that matters

      Damn, that’s pretty good A New Hope…I see it working at least for a couple of years. Chuck Lorre should get on this story line.

  19. basti

    There’s a highly codependancy-forming chemical Charlie should consider giving up for Lent. Its name is ‘oxygen’.

  20. KWDragon

    If I find out Casey Affleck is doing the filming, I’m gonna be pissed.

  21. whatever

    disturbing…

  22. slappy magoo

    Of course it’s a piece of fiction, because what child doesn’t want America thinking their old man is an indiscriminate whore banging a-hole pissing away his fortune on anything but clean clothes showers and proper nutrition?

  23. buuuuuh

    Did Charlie Sheen piss on your rosebushes or something? I mean there’s snarky internet blogger and then there’s obsessive, angry personal vendetta.

  24. The most amazing thing is that the “coke whore” ex-wife is the GOOD parent…
    We are actually down to the question of “Who is least likely to microwave one of the twins?”.

  25. Charlie Sheen
    Double D
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is his hair sticking up like that?
    1) He just watched “There’s Something about Mary.”
    2) He has male whore friends too.

  26. Can someone tell Charlie that tiger’s blood and coke doesn’t actually constitute a balanced diet?

  27. Charlie Sheen
    Double D
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s dead and rotting, and STILL George Steinbrenner is saying, “OH FUCK THIS!”

  28. LJ

    ….and he’s doing another Ustream video tonight.

  29. Charlie Sheen's Machine

    Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

  30. Alabama_Chapstick

    A not so elaborate Joaquin Phoenix type divergence…
    Charlie has been fleecing everyone. He’s a drug/sex addict oui, but thats it….
    It’s all a put on.

    • Burt

      Nah, it’s probably a bit of both since he’s coming off the drugs. You’d understand if you’d ever been around someone who suffers from paranoid personality disorder. In their moments of lucidity, they can be quite creative and strangely logical.

  31. a glimpse into the future scientology-esque religion sheenism just sub out the aliens for warlocks and throw in a little tiger blood for good measure.

  32. Charlie Sheen
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    “even the libertarians realized this shit is getting ridiculous”
    It’s been ridiculous for a while now.
    At least the children are out of the house. Daddy can go back to his noisy & public self-destruction.

  33. Charlie Sheen
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    It becomes more & more obvious why a rich & until very recently hugely successful man has to pay women for sex.

  34. mean tina

    Various polls have shown that Charlie’s approval ratings are down to 25 percent. This is pretty good for the internet population, who I expected to be much more stupid. Still, 1 in 4 are idiots.

  35. SaraBell

    But Charlie… You ARE drunk and sleeping with whores. In real life. It’s not just a Two and a Half Men thing anymore.

  36. ” even the libertarians realized this shit is getting ridiculous and this was like porn to them”
    As a Libertarian, I find this extremely offensive for the following reasons:
    A.) I ALWAYS realized this shit was ridiculous.
    B.) I like my porn waaay dirtier. And with a lot more female-on-female.

  37. alexandra

    For the past 2 weeks it seems, I’ve just been completely skipping over Charlie Sheen posts.

    Please stop.

    • The Critical Crassness

      Be careful, alexandra or “K Soze”, the self appointed watchdog of posts, will call you names and tell you to find another celebrity gossip site to view,
      After all, “K Soze” hates it when people remark about all the posts about “The Sheen” because “K Soze” might not get a daily dose of great wisdom from the “Tiger’s Blood Warlock” with the “Flaming Fists of Shit” or wait, that should be Truth!

  38. Jon H

    He’s comparing himself to the Mitchell Brothers?

    The porn industry pioneers?

    One of whom killed the other in 1991?

    That comparison will make Mueller’s lawyers *very* happy.

  39. Brooke

    I will totally buy “Apocalypse Me: The Jaws Of Life” if Charlie promises to do the audiobook.

    • Burt

      I wouldn’t recommend listening to that one while driving. You’d end up doing 90 in a school zone.

  40. Aussie Mama

    GIVE HIM HIS OWN TALK SHOW!
    It would fucking rock!
    I wonder how Two and a half men will do as Matt Dillon as the new cast member, who is really the new star replacement…
    I’m sure Sheen has enough spon-dooley to never have to worry about working again anyway. No loss. At least the guys word is his word and he doesn’t bend over for any fucker!

  41. Thunder in the Tropics

    charlie’s problem is he went full retard.
    you never go full retard

  42. Charlie Sheen
    Dino Spumoni
    Commented on this photo:

    Only YOU can prevent regular showers.

  43. debagger

    He’s smoking a Jimmy.

  44. Andreea

    Is that a bald spot at 1:30?? I can’t believe how terrible he looks. I thought maybe he was pulling a Joaquin Phoenix, but on second thought, he’s just gone batsh*t crazy

  45. Pete

    Can we just fast-forward to the part where he’s under conservatorship and exposes himself to his security guards for soda?

  46. MapleLeafs

    i dunno if im disturbed.. or find it funny.. or feel bad for him or worried.. hmm..

  47. Charlie Sheen
    bitingontinfoil
    Commented on this photo:

    Graduated from crack to meth…

    …why no link to the vid???

  48. noooooooooo

    Tried to read the comments and watch his latest for a moment, I had no idea so many meth heads knew what ustream was.

  49. bitingontinfoil

    He’s comparing himself to Lenny Bruce??!! Wow! For a few seconds, it sounded like he was channelling Hunter S. Thompson…but without the clarity.

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