Charlie Sheen Is Selling His Baseball Stuff Because He Doesn’t Need The Money

*ppsstt*
“You guys wanna buy some regrets?”

When I was in high school I, like many other young people, sold all their baseball memorabilia for quick cash to buy CD’s and over-priced weed. It’s like an American right of passage to adulthood. Charlie Sheen is doing something similar right now selling things like Babe Ruth’s World Series ring and the original contract that sent Ruth from Boston to New York on Leland’s, a high-profile sports auction site. It’s the American dream… if you’re HIV positive and desperate for cash.

In total the two pieces could bring Sheen a quick million to help out with those puh-puh=pEsKy legal fees from his ex-girlfriend suing him for not telling her he had HIV. From ESPN:

“I’ve enjoyed these incredible items for more than two decades and the time has come,” said Sheen, who famously played pitcher Rick Vaughn in the “Major League” movies. “Whatever price it brings is gravy.”

In this case the word ‘gravy’ is not synonymous for “good” or a flour-based spackle that you dump on your face during Thanksgiving – it actually reads as **Whatever price it brings is going to go a long way with my drug dealer and my bitch ex-girlfriend.**