Charlie Sheen Never Went to Rehab

January 31st, 2011 // 80 Comments
Charlie Sheen

While earlier reports suggested Charlie Sheen would be spending three months in rehab, surprise! It turns out he never even left his house in the first place and has absolutely no intention to. RadarOnline reports:

“Charlie was supposed to go to a rehab facility but he absolutely refused to go,” one pal, who has intimate knowledge of the situation, told
“He is at home now and those close to him are trying to get him to enter a facility, but he doesn’t think he has a problem.”

Coincidentally, TMZ and People – both subsidiaries of Time-Warner – are now claiming Charlie is “exploring” treatment options, including bringing psychiatrists to his house, that would theoretically allow him to return to work sooner, but c’mon. Right now Warner Bros. is staring at a $250 million loss all because they think they can convince the general public Charlie Sheen will suddenly hate cocaine and porn stars who look like they’re 12. They might as well tell people he wears a cape and fights crime which, now that I think about it, he kind of does. He keeps porn stars off the streets and drugs out of schools by not leaving any for anyone else. As for the cape part, the guy tackles four hookers at a time, so that’s pretty much your standard uniform. Or is it galoshes and a ski mask? It’s been a while.

Photos: WENN


  1. Taz

    He is so rich no one can make him do anything

    • Doc Schweinstrudel

      It’s horrible terrible and really disturbing – popularizing pedophilia and crack – what is wrong with this world???
      It makes me really sad the children nowadays would be exposed to this as a norm – and I don’t even have a child!
      HE IS SO FUCKING UGLY it repulses me to look at him I feel like I wanna puke just by the picture of his face in that douchebag hat!


      • Doc? Pedophilia??? Get a grip the women were all of age. He’s not a pedophile nor is he advocating pedophalia. Get off your moral high horse. What children are exposed to this story? his kids? Blame the mother for letting them read the papers and be online reading stuff like this. The children of America? Where in the hell are the parents of these children who are being corrupted by the media? Take responsibility for your children, teach them right from wrong, and spend time with them in a meaningful way and I bet they won’t turn out to be little crack smoking pedo monsters!!!

        No one takes personal responsibility for their own faults and shortcomings anymore. Blame Charlie Sheen for your kid taking drugs, but don’t look at how you raised the child in the first place. Fucking cop out artists.

  2. Have daddy come over and change his diddy

  3. Rough City, U.S.A.

    So he needs to date overweight chicks ergo “the turds” wont purposely mistake his dates for 12 years old? How ridiculous…

  4. Bucky Barnes

    He’s already receiving therapy, you can’t convince me that out of the million whores he’s had sessions with, at least one wasn’t also a psychiatrist.

  5. Cock Dr

    Crackhead Charlie’s clock is ticking. He’ll be dead soon.
    Some people just shouldn’t be given obscene amounts of money, as they will use it to destroy themselves.

    • Legal Boom

      Yea, thats it asshole. He should be prevented from making a living and doing as he pleases. More government control because the government knows better than those of us with our own money what we need, right you Fucking douchebag?

      He can do whatever the fuck he wants and isnt hurting anyone but himself. More power to him. If he dies and cant stop, tough shit. He was in control.

      • Cock Dr

        Charlie is a crackhead junkie completely out of control, and if he kills himself that’s just too bad….that’s HIS CHOICE. It’s likely he’ll badly hurt or kill someone else before the final chapter is writ. But hey, he’s at home now with his “sober coach” (who probably has a name something like “Candi Cummings”) so I’m sure things will calm down & be A-ok from now on.
        There’s always a belligerent name calling asshole around here……..

      • Whoa…Jumped to the Ole’ Tea Party rhetoric pretty quick there. I don’t think anyone was suggesting the government limit his income.

      • MOAB

        @ Little Richard

        I dont think thats tea party “rhetoric” he was using. Its called good ol’ freedom of speech and hes right, the last thing we need is the government in anything more than it is. I know, I know…thats hard for you to comprehend whilst sitting there in your Obama Snuggie, sipping Chamomile Tea while reading Chomsky & pretending to be an intellectual, but its true.

        See you at the next Anti-Capitalism protest, princess.

      • Cock Dr

        Last time I checked it was Charlie’s corporate masters that were infringing upon his god given right to freebase himself to death. Government and/or local law enforcement had nothing to do with it.
        Indeed, law enforcement seems to have given good time Charlie a fairly wide berth recently.
        I hope nobody is complaining about a business taking care of an internal matter with a staffer? I mean, if Charlie can always quit work & move to Columbia….I’m sure his savings would last him a year or 2.

      • Burt

        “He can do whatever the fuck he wants and isnt hurting anyone but himself. ”
        Sure, tell that to his kids.

    • doodles

      Am I the only one who sees the Cock Dr is right? The man is self-destructing before the public eye! The guy’s a drug-addled man whore who’s one party away from ending up in the morgue.

      If he wants to party like that and spend ridiculous amounts of money on porn stars and blow, do it discreetly.
      Actually I can’t wait til he croaks, less posts about this sorry excuse for a human being. Rather than use his $2.5 million/episode to help others or buy himself privacy, he spends like that?
      The man isn’t worth that and acting isn’t that fucking hard – anyone can act like they don’t give a shit and look like they just woke up from an all night bender on a terrible unfunny sitcom that should have been canceled like his acting career years ago!

      Charlie Sheen is such a turd-muncher. Let’s get a death clock tickin’ down for this guy. I give him til August. Bets? Takers?

      • Jeff

        HE’S NEVER EVEN SO MUCH AS BEEN ARRESTED for any of this stuff!

        ‘If he wants to party like that and spend ridiculous amounts of money on porn stars and blow, do it discreetly.” Why? The guy doesn’t do anything that anybody else doesn’t do or want to do. He’s obviously not ashamed of his coc and porn star habit and he’s been blessed with the gift of a Keith Richards-level tolerance. And you know what else? America WANTS him to be Charlie Sheen for them. There’s no other explanation for that crap show where he essentially plays himself.

      • doodles

        There is definitely something wrong with the mentality of America if fucking whores and ODing on blow is something to look up to.
        Off yourself with Chuckles, ya retarded lemmings. I`m talking to you Jeff.

    • @ Moab

      A. “rhetoric” is not a derogatory term. (by definition, look it up if you have to)
      B. It is Tea-Party rhetoric. (by definition,look it up if you have to)
      C. It is also “Freedom of Speech” (by definition, I’ll assume you got that one)
      D. Your statements were unfounded and reactionary. I wasn’t debating politics. I was stating that government had nothing to do with this issue. I don’t own a snuggie or sip tea. I’ve never read Chomsky, and I don’t act like I can solve any problems I barely understand.
      E. You are kind of a dick (by definition, look it up if you have to)

      I’ve never seen an Anti-Capitalism protest…and princess? Really? I’m your princess? That’s a bit creepy.

      See ya’ at the sale on sleeveless NASCAR shirts at Walmart…princess?

  6. So, I’m not sure how I feel about this. Most of the stuff he is being accused of is fairly victimless…unlike that show he is on.

  7. “You want me to quit what??? C’mere…smell these”

  8. cdrz

    Charlie is a fu%&in god!

  9. He figures why overdose in rehab when he can do it at home surrounded by porn stars that look like boys.

  10. jojo

    I’ll take two briefcases of coke and a clown car of prepubescent hookers and please, hold the tits.

  11. Superficial Regular

    Frankly, I don’t give a damn about Charlie Sheen. Tired of hearing about him.

  12. Marty

    Charlie doesn’t need rehab, he only goes off about every two months. He just needs a island of his own. Party on Charlie!! Your my hero.

  13. Baron Bleeke

    you gotta kind of respect the guy. if he dies while partying, can anyone honestly say they wouldnt want to go the same way? blasted out of your mind on coke, fucked to death by 4 hookers? ya think he even bothers to learn their names, or just gives em numbers?

    “you! number 2! you chop me a line while i watch numbers 1 and 4 lick my balls!

  14. Peter Pantsless

    “Actually it was 2 briefcases of cocaine, bitches!”

  15. puddleduck

    Can’t wait for this story to end…one way or the other! Tired of hearing about this overrated, overpaid, oversexed douche bag. He needs to grow the fuck up and and have his whores shut the fuck up as well!

    • chupacabra

      what’s great is all this “american” money that could go to education, or cancer or children eating organic veggies, it slips right thru charlie’s hands straight to Columbian, or Peru… wherever he gets his blow. It makes me feel like I got into the wrong bizness.

  16. jumpin_j

    Remember, Charlie, rehab is for quitters! On on!!!

  17. nooooooooo

    If it was a recent picture of him I’d say he was secretly signaling how many dozen hookers he wanted delivered to his hidden whore palace. Instead he’s just responding about how many kilo’s he’s done since morning.

  18. Carl

    Why is it taking this fucking douche bag so long to die. Asshole is above the law. CBS gives this shit head loads of money to burn it up on drugs, liquor and prostitute.

  19. Peace out, Dracula.

  20. JealousMuch

    The man is living the American Dream. An unending stream of drugs and hot pussy. Give Tiger Woods his phone number.

    • Bucky Barnes

      At least for the most part Charlie gets better looking women than Tiger does but then he’s had a lot more practice.

  21. RasputinsLiver

    *** ..!.,

    Goddamn, man! The only other person I can recall who could party like that and still come out alive, kickin’ and laughin’ all the way was the better 1/2 of The Glimmer Twins….

    c’mon y’all, you know who I’m talkin’ about. Say it with me…..

    ………………………………..KEEF FUCKIN’ RICHARDS!!!……………………………….

    *** ..!.,

  22. mcfeely smackup

    All these people telling Charlie he needs rehab, needs to stop screwing porn stars, needs to stop partying…basically, they’re telling Charlie he needs to be less AWESOME.

    The normal human brain has a well known lobe that is the seat of compassion, and another one where humility is located…well Charlie Sheen has a rare mutation where instead of those, he has two more AWESOME glands..and each of those run at 20% greater capacity than normal.

    If you stabbed Charlie Sheen in the heard, AWESOME would spurt out and cover you…but Charlie would just say “it’s ok dude, I got shitloads more where that came from”.

  23. doodles

    I have a feeling this is going to end up bad for Charlie. February 2010 he went supposedly to ‘rehab’ too. Look where he is a year later. History’s repeating itself!
    Thank god Kelly Preston’s protected by Xenu now!

    • nooooooooo

      Yes, but who protects Xenu? Nothing is stopping Charlie from snorting him up with a fresh $100 bill.

    • Bucky Barnes

      Charlie: “You mean there’s supposed to be more to rehab than a press announcement? Yeah, riiiiight. Pass me another whore and a shovel of blow.”

  24. Burt

    I get the feeling the comments would be different if this was about Lindsay Lohan, or any woman for that matter. Yeah, Charlie isn’t the only one who’s got issues.

    • Bucky Barnes

      I’m sick of celebs doing rehab then writing a book and doing the talk show circuit about how awful it was to have too much free time and disposable income. Kudos to Charlie for essentially telling all the self-appointed do-gooders to fuck off and leave him alone.

      • Burt

        Dude, you actually believe those celebrities are clean? It’s an ingenious way to get more money to support their habit. Charlie Sheen will be doing the same thing once he’s pissed his money away and burned the last bridge in Hollywood.

  25. Galtacticus

    I’m surprised that his penis didn’t drop off yet.

  26. Rhialto

    I’m just looking for cryptic signs… Maybe he’s looking for a new sitcom personage?!

  27. wim

    what did you think?
    ……..THIS IS CHARLIE, folks!!

  28. Jennyjenjen

    Death Pool

  29. Chris

    Charlie doesn’t need 2.5 Men anymore. A reality show about his life would blow the ratings for that show out of the sky. Plus, Charlie would be in total control and no ahole could tell him what to do. The more porn stars and crack he does, the higher the ratings would go. It’s really a win-win for all involved.

    Leave all the turds behind and make your own show, Charlie. You’ve got the power. Just do it.

  30. Winston

    Utah! get me two!

  31. Bubba

    “Dude come here….smell these. You’ll never guess where they’ve been. In a pornstar! I’m Charlie Sheen, bitch! Waka waka….ow my belly…!”

  32. What a jerk...

    This just proves that Charlie Sheen is the most selfish, delusional, self centered arrogant asshole in Hollywood. Instead of just manning up & going to rehab (for 30 days), he instead claims he’s fine (after fucking std riddled porn whores for 36 hours & doing a mountain of blow) & wants to take 3 months to do a faux in-house rehab at his home. This means that all the people that work on his show & depend on it for their income are out of work for 3 months while he fucks around at his house & goes through the motions in rehab (but doesn’t actually do it). They can’t get other work; if they do, they’ll be replaced when the show comes back. And, an unpaid 3 month hiatus is a financial killer for anyone who works on the show; they already get an unpaid 3 month hiatus already.

    What a selfish asshole. The funniest thing here is, Denise Richards (who everyone thought was a psychotic cunt) comes out smelling like a rose here. Apparently, looks like all her accusations were right on the money…

  33. babooda

    Here’s a novel idea….let Charlie decide how and when he does whatever he decides to do and he will be happy to let you all do the same thing.
    Hell, if you leave him alone he might even send you one of his used condoms….er… porn bitches to babysit your kid like the great deal K-Fed got.
    One thing is absolutely positively true about this whole rancid mess….Charlie Sheen don’t give a rat’s ass what any of you think about how he lives his life, nor does he care how you live yours as long as it doesn’t interrupt his….PAARTTTAY!

  34. And this is shocking why?

  35. Of course Charlie doesn’t think he has a problem… One does not need to be rehabilitated from one’s normal state of being. What sucks is that I have such a dull normal state of being eg: no whores and/or coke. Or tuna-scented mansion, for that matter.

  36. tchde

    “The greatest trick Charlie ever pulled was convincing the world he went to rehab”

  37. oermens

    a king among men

  38. Mortimer Duke

    If he dies, he dies. Its his life.

    In so far he hasnt been on the street with his nonsense. He has been in nice confined areas. His home, that hotel room he trashed. If anyone dies it will be some equally vapid asshole and if we lose two for the cost of one, who can argue with that?

  39. rob

    C’mon give the guy a break, he is just living the American dream, besides all the girls are of age and we know all the big stars do drugs in hollywood, its just not talked about as much. CBS should be considering the bright side, they can finally do a spin off of Two and a Half Men, they can call it One Dude and a bunch of Young Women!! rofl

  40. GravyLeg

    Charlie’s life is starting to read like the script for “Men At Work 2″.
    We should be finding some dead hookers in a garbage bin any time now.
    And Emelio will be there to clean it all up…. Ahhhhh…. Family.

  41. I'm on my Period.

    Two and a Half men is worse than any drugs I’ve ever done, and I’ve done a lot of drugs. A lot.

  42. wow

    take a look at his top lip lately. its so numb eventually its going to envelop his chin. does this guy even have upper teeth? i dont think anyone has seen them in years.

  43. To the ClamCave!!!!

  44. slappy magoo

    Because Sheen is a man’s man, he agreed to demonstrate “2 in the pink.”
    Because Sheen is a gentleman, he declined to demonstrate “1 in the stink.”

  45. When he needs to relax, he just goes motorboating. Who needs rehab?

  46. An endless all-you-can-eat buffet of naked women having sex with me, free Bentleys, a briefcase of blow… if that’s the disease, why are we trying to cure it? That’s like calling your doctor after having a Viagra erection for more than four hours. Who’s calling a doctor? I’m calling every woman I ever met and begging.

  47. GravyLeg

    The two stinkiest fingers in Hollywood… Thanks Chuck.

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