Charlie Sheen Lost, Brooke Mueller Keeps Custody of the Kids

April 19th, 2011 // 32 Comments

Despite the brilliant legal maneuver of arriving to court with a prostitute (above), Charlie Sheen was unable to obtain full custody of his twin sons even after their mother Brooke Mueller was filmed pawning random items for crack and checked herself into rehab over the weekend. RadarOnline reports:

Despite appearing “unsteady on her feet” and “glassy eyed” Mueller was all smiles as she left the court house – but was keeping mum – telling “No comment” when asked if she was pleased with the decision.
A source says that while Mueller undergoes drug treatment at an undisclosed rehab facility, her mother will provide primary care for the boys.

So basically everything stayed exactly the way it is while everyone waits for Charlie Sheen to die any minute now and stop suing for custody. There’s no way that’s not the game plan here. The judge probably has a file that’s nothing but a drawing of Charlie with X’s for eyes.

Photos: INFdaily, Splash News


  1. No surprise there that the “woman” in the car looks like she could pass for a young boy.

  2. Brooke’s next call will be to Madonna to see if she wants to buy another child.

  3. Deacon Jones

    So how’s he going to paint this one?

    “I was winning so much, I had to lose once”

    or something along those lines?

  4. I don’t understand how children fit into his lifestyle–are they drug mules?

  5. Bob

    Winning! Duh! It’s so fucked up I don’t even know what to say, poor kids.

  6. Buddy the Elf


  7. Mcroughin

    I would be insulted if a crack head gets precedence over me. No offense to all the crack head in the superficial room.

    • Burt

      Sheen is a crackhead, an abusive and unrepentant one, whereas his ex-wife is seeking help. The judge’s decision was the right one.

  8. Finally a verdict in the case of Crackhead v. Cokehead.

  9. Divorced guy

    He just wants full custody, so he will not have to pay child support. They were only married a couple years, so he will only have to pay spousal support for a couple years. Biggest problem for him getting custody, is that he never spent much time with the kids. (half the marriage term)

  10. Looks like the pace of being Mr. Asshole won’t be hampered by the inconvenience of being a father.

  11. I totally thought the ‘woman’ in the car was about 13.

  12. oermens

    I had to read the article to understand that ‘lost’ meant he didn’t win custody and not that he was lost on the way to the court house.

  13. “Hey Brooke, are you happy you get to keep your kids?” “No comment.”
    Says a lot right there.

    • No shit. The poor judge was probably looking back and forth between Charlie and Brooke thinking, “These kids are fucked for life either way.”

  14. Marceelf

    I’m certainly not a Charlie Sheen fan, but he is at least somehow passing his drug tests This dumb bunny gets taped with crack bugs under her skin trying to raise cash at a pawn shop, who knows when she saw the kids last, and she keeps custody? How is DCFS not involved with this family? L.A. is f’d up.

  15. Idiots, both of them. Stop fucking tramps and jamming blow up your ass like it’s all a big circus you morons, you have kids that need you.

  16. zomgbie

    poor kids.

  17. LJ

    Charlie has a show tonight in Washington DC.

    A manic time should be had by all.

  18. the captain

    agree: HE, again, IS A FREE MAN, folks!!

  19. Snowball

    Both parents are crack heads, so the kids should be off to foster homes.


  20. Charlie Sheen Goddess Natalie Kenly
    Commented on this photo:

    That old line about liking your women like your whiskey (12 years old and mixed up with coke) was a Charlie Sheen original.
    In his defense, he was 9 when he said it.

  21. qwerty

    This here gives me hope in the California court system. So what if they cant lock up Lindsay Lohan? At least the family courts can do a half decent job.

  22. Womens Tungsten

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