Charlie Sheen Just Had ‘One’ Bad Night, Folks. Calm Down.

November 9th, 2010 // 35 Comments
Charlie Sheen

Charlie Sheen wants everyone to relax about his almost arrest for drunkenly tearing apart a New York City hotel room while a porn star/hooker hid in fear in the bathroom. Apparently, according to coke logic, we’ve all been there and losing a $150,000 watch ain’t no thing. Extra reports:

“If a guy has one bad night everybody goes insane and panics… I’m not panicking,” Sheen said.
Still missing his rare Patek Philippe 5970 watch worth $150,000 which he claims he lost the night of the incident, the actor didn’t seem to be too upset. “The way I look at it, if you have expensive tastes, you gotta be prepared for expensive losses.”

People Who Can No Longer Use “I Had a Bad Night” As An Excuse:

Mel Gibson
Lindsay Lohan
Andy Dick
Coach Wade Phillips
Britney Spears
O.J. Simpson

Okay, those last two aren’t fair. Britney has the Downs while O.J. technically did have just one bad night. You’re right, it was sloppy.

EDIT: Forgot one.

Photo: Splash News


  1. Bony Homo


  2. JD

    Are we forgetting that OJ broke into a hotel room in Vegas that qualifies as his 2nd bad night considering he is in jail. I guess the first bad night might not count since he’s “innocent

  3. Since when is trashing a hotel room in a hooker-and-coke-fueled rage a “bad” night?

  4. Wasnt nearly as bad a nite as when he shot kelly preston. Or when he od’d booting coke. Give him a break..

    • Alice

      Or how about when he held a knife to his wife throat saying he was going to kill her on Christmas day with his two little boys in the room.
      I forgot it’s USA white men can do no wrong.

  5. Richard McBeef

    why can’t you go on a goddamn rager as long as your hooker is still alive in the morning? this is obama and the fucking liberal’s fault. prime example of how america is turning to shit.

    • WTF

      Funny how you placed the blame for Sheen’s shitty behavior on Obama just like a true republican. Republicans have lost their damn minds. Why the hell would you bring Obama up when the topic is Charlie Sheen. Seems like you are whats wrong with America. Shame another women had to run for her life from this douche bag Sheen.

  6. DKNY

    OJ had more than one bad night. He’s currently in prison for kidnapping and armed robbery for a 2007 incident in Las Vegas, to say nothing of the 1994 murder of his ex-wife and her boy toy.

  7. Ayn Rand's mummified vagina

    Conservatives don’t have sex with people outside their immediate family, so unless the hooker was Charlie’s daughter he must be a liberal too.

    • Moses

      Bingo, it says so in the Bible. It required thousands of years of inbreeding to attain our modern fuck-tard conservative. Ain’t we lucky?

  8. The Cowboys are America’s Team. If you dislike them, you support terrorism. You’re welcome.

    • Chris Rock

      America’s salad-tossers, maybe.

      • Howard the Duck

        Football is inherently gay. If you ever question if what you are doing or watching is gay think about doing buck ass naked. if you wouldn’t do it naked, but you would do it with a thin layer of spandex on it is and you are probably gay.

      • Vince Lombardi

        Yep, every player starts his career as a tight-end but retires as a wide-receiver.

      • forward pass is gay. padding, gay. stopping ev 20 sec, sooo lame. but i’ll take it over hockey n baseball

    • Wasting my time on you

      Hey douches-if you cheer for one team over another, you’re cheering for a bunch of gorillas that chose to wear the same colored shirt. You’re cheering for a shirt color. When your gorilla is traded to another team and wears a different color shirt, then you hate him. When a gorilla you hate is traded to your team and wears your shirt color, you love him.

      You’re cheering for a shirt color, you lummocked shit-sticks.

  9. Burt

    ““The way I look at it, if you have expensive tastes, you gotta be prepared for expensive losses.”

    And by expensive tastes, I’m guessing he means hookers and coke.

  10. Mike Walker

    When are people going to learn that EVERYBODY looks like a douchebag in those stupid hats?

  11. Bucky Barnes

    Captain America would be so offended to see that he is promoted in the main photo.

  12. Blech

    Speaking of Lindsay Lohan, is it true that she’s planning on opening up her own rehabs?

  13. dsgsdb

    This “news” is not supposed to last more than 7 days. Give it up al ready.

  14. wim


  15. The NEW Captain America is gay.

    Charlie Sheen hasn’t killed anyone. His wife didn’t press charges on him for his attack at Christmas so he wasn’t charged. Was that a douchebag move? Yes. Is it as bad as what OJ did? No … oh I’m sorry OJ wasn’t found guilty of murder, he was innocent I tell you, INNOCENT!!! Yes, and there are plenty of men who are walking free who were KKK members in the 50′s that lynched black men all across the south. Doesn’t mean they didn’t do the crime.

    So quit with the ‘It’s because he’s a white man that he isn’t in jail” crap!!! Quit using that outdated lame crutch of an excuse.

    As for Chuck, he’s living a wild life. Probably with the philosophy of ‘Rather die young and happy than old and bored.’

  16. Steelerchick

    Look at those eyes!! He’s stoned again!!

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  18. martin beck

    How come Charlie is never sent to gaol or rehaab for his human antics ? I mean if lindsey or Paris fart , all the up tight moralists want to draw and quarter them . So how come Sorry for that image of Lidsey and Paris farting .
    they do ya know

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