Charlie Sheen is Trying to Trademark His Catchphrases Now

Continuing his quest to scrape together as much cash as possible so he can afford to pay his live-in hookers “goddesses” $30,000 a beeje, Charlie Sheen is trying to trademark 22 of the phrases he probably doesn’t even remember saying on account of all the coke and mangled va-pooter on his brain. E! News reports:

A California company called Hyro-gliff, which formed last month in the wake of Sheen’s odd metamorphosis and lists the address of the offices of Sheen’s attorney, Martin Singer, as its mailing info, is hoping to get its hands on, to name a bunch, “Adonis DNA,” “Tiger Blood,” “Defeat Is Not an Option,” “Violent Torpedo of Truth,” “Sober Valley Lodge,” “Sheen’s Goddesses, and “Duh, Winning.”
The paperwork was filed in batches between March 19 and March 22.
Sheen, who got in the merchandise business with event promoter Live Nation immediately after being fired from Two and a Half Men, has already had his various mantras and ad hoc catch-phrases printed on mugs, T-shirts and other ephemera—a fact that could give him a legal leg up when Hyro-gliff’s applications are considered.

I constantly hear arguments that Charlie Sheen has a net worth of $85 million and made tons of smart investments, but the guy himself openly admits he’s broke because he pays out (and up) the nose for sex on top of $100,000+ in monthly spousal support. Christ, his goddesses probably make more than he does right now and with less whoring. At this point, they probably throw crumpled up bills in his face then make jokes about rolling him up in a shower curtain. “Why don’t you get out on your stage corner and say ‘Tiger Blood’ again, you feckin’ slut? Yeah, that’s right, get outta my face. Oh, wait, can you sign my paycheck?”

Photos: Splash News