Charlie Sheen is a Wizard

February 22nd, 2011 // 29 Comments

Charlie Sheen has apparently convinced Brooke Mueller to move into a mansion in his neighborhood so it’s easier for him to see his kids between coke sandwiches and is even working on getting Denise Richards in on the same deal. So basically he’s taking Clam Manor in a less alarming direction – for now. He’s very persuasive. RadarOnline reports:

According to a source close to the situation Charlie wants to buy BOTH of his exes, Brooke and Denise Richards mansions at the swanky gated complex, Mullholland Estates, where he currently resides.
And Brooke Mueller is extremely keen on the idea, as a source tells exclusively that she is “planning on taking Charlie up on his very generous offer. Brooke thinks its a great idea because Charlie can see their twin sons on a daily basis.
“It’s much easier for Charlie to visit the twins if he is neighbors with Brooke.”
Mueller currently lives in Los Feliz with their twin sons, Bob and Max, and “she feels it would be so much healthier for the boys if they didn’t have to make the sometimes long trip over to their dad’s house,” the source says.

You almost have to respect the mental gymnastics Brooke Mueller just pulled here to get a free mansion. She essentially convinced herself a 45-minute car ride is more detrimental to her sons’ health than immediate exposure to a man who held a knife to her throat on Christmas then used his vast wealth to bend the law to his will. Honestly I’d be less impressed if she talked herself into believing her kids should swim with sharks. At least that’s exercise. “You just put two hot dogs in their little hands and PLOOP! Off they go. They can’t get enough of it. It’s good for ‘em.”

Photos: INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News


  1. SumitGill


  2. Cock Dr

    Uncle Charlie is not a wizard. He’s a crackhead with access to huge amounts of money.
    I’m thinking that EX #2 is very excited by the prospect of a fancy new house & regaining access to Charlie’s bank account & cokepile.
    Drugs do not seem to enhance a person’s common sense.

  3. Nik

    he’s still working on his porn mansion right??

  4. um ya if you’re paid one mansion per episode i suppose paying one mansion per ex-wife aint no thang. beats payin half. hell ynot buy up the whole neighborhood and keep a harem of babymakers

  5. jesse

    hard to convince.. yeak ok.

  6. Steve Irwin's breastplate

    Croikey sweemin with shocks is a fuckofalot sayfa din sweemin with stingroys

  7. looks like from a mansion to young boyish pornstars to multiple mansions of ex-wives

  8. Deacon Jones

    So how long before he’s banging on one of their front doors with a butcher knife and bottle of tequila?

    • Cock Dr

      That’s fine, just so long as he doesn’t have a key.
      In the time it takes Charlie to break a window the house’s inhabitants can load their weapons & ready the Taser.

      • Deacon Jones

        I see this getting ugly. As in he’s screaming at the cops “Well it’s my fucking house, I BOUGHT it!”

    • bitingontinfoil

      ..don’t forget the gun…Kelly hasn’t!

  9. Practice Girlfriend


  10. No, the guy who did Brooke’s tit job is a wizard… Charlie is fast becoming a LEGEND.

  11. jojo

    Hmm. From a houseful of childlike porn “stars” to your ex wife? Charlie you’re doing it wrong!

  12. McCock

    Charlie Sheen is now officially a God, and we are but mere mortals living in his world. Seriously, who wouldn’t want to be this guy. Bang hot pornstars, movie stars, party like a rockstar, and have the entire country love your TV show more than any other and force the Network to begrudgingly give you barrells full of cash. All you bashers are just jealous.

    • bitingontinfoil

      Yeah, I know! Who wouldn’t kill to have the complexion of a jaundiced apple head doll, lose some of their teef @ 45, have children who will likely sign the DNR themselves (after they’re out of rehab) and have to carry around a fire extinguisher for every time they take a piss.

      …my fuckin hero.

      • RightHandOfGod

        not talking about your boyfriend, talking about Sheen

      • bitingontinfoil

        @RightHand: I understand that your latent homosexual attraction to DouSheen would encourage you to come to his defense…crackhead that he is, he *does* have a certain…panache…that folks such as “yourself” would find attractive. You should follow in his footsteps – but I guess Burger King doesn’t pay *quite* the amount needed.

      • bitingontinfoil

        BTW: Congrats! Your “God” is now unemployed.

  13. I hear he’s applying for permits to put a Bentley dealership in the neighborhood too.

  14. homosapiens

    that’s all very fine and well, but does that man behind her have two little barrettes in his hair?

  15. Rob Frost

    Charlie’s a legend. Is it any coincidence they named a drug after him?

  16. bitingontinfoil

    *Love* the backpacker checking out her ass!

  17. aretha

    yep…………..The Wizard Of Oz.

  18. sheen piglet

    sheen die already. just do it.

  19. Frosty Pants


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