Charlie Sheen Is A Condom Spokesman Now. The Charlie Sheen.
“What is… a condom? No, seriously, I’m asking.”
Out of what is undoubtedly the goodness of his heart and a charitable desire to warn others of the dangers of HIV, Charlie Sheen has agreed to be paid a bunch of money to shill a revolutionary leap in condom technology and things are already off to a fantastic start. You can tell this is serious. Gizmodo reports:
“What if, just one time, I chose differently,” Charlie Sheen said, addressing 100 or so people standing in a Manhattan warehouse space amidst erotic dancers and a four foot penis ice sculpture at the launch of the LELO HEX condom.
So what is the LELO Hex Condom? According to Gizmodo’s research, it’s an over-priced beehive for your dick that isn’t “safer, cheaper, thinner, better feeling or even a more aesthetically interesting option.” But it does come with the added bonus of Charlie Sheen reminding you that the person you’re having sex with might have AIDS, which will mean absolutely nothing to the erect penis who just spent $36 on a box of condoms because the packaging looks like Apple made it. That guy’s losing money not finding out that a break in a hexagonal cock sleeve is still a break. Plus sticking it in. Did he mention he gets to stick it in? What was that other stuff you said?