Charlie Sheen is a Brilliant Negotiator

Charlie Sheen really wants to go back to work on Two and a Half Men and apparently decided to call into The Dan Patrick Show and let the producers know this could get ugly again which is always a good tactic. Via The Huffington Post:

“They said, ‘You get ready and we’ll get ready.’ And I got ready and went back and nobody’s there,” he said. “I’m here and I’m ready. They’re not. Bring it, you know?”
Sheen said he tends to “unravel pretty quickly,” so suggested producers should put him to work now.

So basically Charlie Sheen just said, “Put me back to work – at $1.8 million an episode – or I’ll go back to three-day benders of hookers and blow.” Except despite the fact there’s no way he loses in that situation, he’s now threatening to not return at all which will end the show completely, according to TMZ:

Our sources say if Charlie doesn’t come back, his role will absolutely not be re-cast and Warner Bros. would end production immediately.
As TMZ has been reporting, there’s a lot of conflict between Charlie on the one side and Warner Bros., CBS and creator Chuck Lorre on the other.

And, again, this is what happens when you pay Charlie Sheen an ungodly amount of money because now he has no motivation to come back. He can either hustle to find another job, or die a warrior’s death filling a dormant vacation with swollen vagina and coke. He’s honestly just trying to plan his week at this point.

Photos: Splash News