Charlie Sheen is a Brilliant Legal Strategist

The Superficial / March 4, 2011

Let’s take a moment to catch up on the brewing custody battle between Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller that almost resolved itself yesterday until Charlie decided our terrestrial legal system doesn’t apply to him anymore. You see, early in the day, the police were at his house again because, surprise, the divorce settlement he signed just last month prohibited him from disclosing “to any media sources personal information relating to Brooke’s alleged drug usage.” So basically he was about to be held in contempt of court which is why suddenly there was talk of a friendly deal along with the following tweets:

not sure what all the legal noise is about… just verbally reached a deal with B. no court mon. yay….
..yet the opposition felt it necessary to still harass me with old gibberish…. odd? perhaps. transparent? you betcha’!

For those of you keeping score at home: “Old gibberish” stands for legal documents in Winner Talk and apparently they don’t mean anything to Charlie Sheen. Unless, of course, its his CBS contract, in which case he’ll sue your face off in a tsunami of gibberish. Anyway, this deal was just about to go through except it contained one very important clause: Charlie can’t talk to the media about it, so you can see exactly where this went. Via TMZ:

The first term in the deal was that Charlie not talk to the media about the agreement. We’re told Brooke’s lawyers are scratching their heads in amazement that Charlie immediately violated that term by tweeting about it and talking about it on a Philadelphia radio station.
We’ve also learned … the verbal agreement is not as Charlie stated — in other words, it’s not restoring the custody agreement they agreed to in the divorce. Sources tell us … the deal required that when Charlie had the twins a monitor would be present.

That’s right, The Tiger Blood F-18 couldn’t keep his mouth shut for five minutes which effectively landed him in court on Monday where he’ll have to explain to a judge why two women openly engaged in prostitution should be allowed to raise his children. Then again, I’ve always wanted to see someone argue in court that he’s only bound by “space-law” before strafing the bailiff in his underwear. “I do this every morning before coffee! EEEerrrraawwwwww! RATATATATATATATAT!”

Photos: Flynet