Charlie Sheen’s Already Selling His Mansion

“What a crazy night. I mean, no condoms! That was safe, right?”
“Sure.”

In what has to be the biggest indicator of how much shit is about to hit Charlie Sheen’s fan, his Beverly Mansion is up for sale, which might have something to do with reports that he was banging people without telling them he’s HIV positive as recently as last fucking week. Radar reports:

A source close to a top Los Angeles attorney told Radar that four new potential victims have emerged since The ENQUIRER and Radar exposed Sheen’s HIV cover-up. “One person claims that Charlie had sex with them just last week,” the source told Radar. “He didn’t tell them he was HIV positive.”
“And a second individual claims they had sex with Charlie three weeks ago,” the insider added.
“All of these people say they were not notified by Charlie about his HIV status and now they want settlements.”

Of course, we already know Charlie Sheen’s defense is that his HIV got better, so technically he doesn’t have to tell anyone he has it even though technically medical science still says once you have HIV you have HIV forever. That said, he admittedly dropped $10 million on hush money, which seems like an odd thing to do if you’re trying to make people think you have the cute kind of HIV that goes away with a few Ricola. “Think of it less like a precursor to AIDs, and more like a sore throat,” he probably says while putting the money on the nightstand. And then some more because now it’s time to play, “Lambskins are much safer because they’re organic!” (Disclaimer: No. No, they are not. Please don’t once think that’s true. For the love of God.)

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