Charlie Sheen Tweeted A Knife At Denise Richards

December 16th, 2013 // 38 Comments
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Denise Richards brought Charlie Sheen‘s twin sons from Brooke Mueller into her home and cared for them as if they were here own until Brooke made it legally impossible to get them the help they needed while Charlie pretended to give a shit by threatening the judge from inside a hooker’s vagina. Now a kind and decent person would forever be indebted to Denise for her hard work and sacrifice, so naturally Charlie just tweeted her a photo of a knife because he thought she didn’t invite him on vacation. TMZ reports:

We’re told the news sent Charlie into a tailspin since he’s already not seeing twins Bob and Max this year for Christmas — they’ll be with temp guardian/Brooke Mueller’s brother Scott.
Sheen lashed out at Denise by tweeting a pic of a chopped up baseball bat — a souvenir from their wedding — with the caption, “The lie is over. I’m done being treated like a relative with a one-way ticket. #DuhNeese.”

Except Denise did invite him:

Our sources say Denise is confused about Charlie’s anger — because as far as she’s concerned … he’s still welcome to join her and the girls on the trip.

In Charlie Sheen’s defense, he probably has porn stars writing down messages for him which gets confusing because they’re illiterate. More importantly, is that bologna inside that baseball hat? Where do you even get something like that? Because that is the most amazing solution to home security I’ve ever seen in my life. For starters, it’s not a gun, so nobody you love accidentally gets shot. Second, imagine this scenario: It’s dark, you hear a noise. You get out of bed, grab the bologna bat, and slowly make your way downstairs. Is it a prowler? Jehovah Witnesses? Whiskers! You silly cat. Oh, boy, another false alarm. Guess you’ll just dunk this baby in mustard then go back to bed. The End.

I want eight for Christmas. Go.

Photos: Splash News

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  1. Charlie Sheen got to keep the baseball bat in the division of property from the divorce? That’s just bad lawyering.

  2. ThisWillHurt

    So Charlie Sheen walked into a deli and said this:
    “Evening, amigo! I need a large slice of salami that looks like a baseball bat. Why? First of all, don’t you fucking ask me any questions until the coke has worn off so I can- There! Cured myself! And B, have you tried cutting up a baseball bat with an un-serated blade? Look at this fucking thing? I couldn’t cut a barely legal porn star’s labia with it! Watch, gimme your arm. Shit! Sorry! So, um, salami bat: GET ON THAT! OK, stop bleeding first. Then GET ON THAT!”

  3. alex

    Black man’s kryptonite.

  4. Monica

    Why is there Tobasco?

    • Dox

      Because its a meat bat….

      There’s so much double entendre in that….

    • Jenn

      There should always be Tobasco. That looks like those tiny bottles they give the military in their MRE’s. I’ve no idea what a vain, selfabsorbed, douch-nozzle, rockstar from Mars would be doing with anything miltary. Maybe it heats up his tiger blood.

  5. if you stack up all the batshit crazy things Charlie has done, along with the junkie drama Brooke Mueller brings with her…the biggest WTF thing out of it all still remains “WHY is the baseball bat made of salami????”

    • Dox

      Because…. having a wood baseball bat shoved up your ass leaves splinters?

      I’m just taking a wild stab in the dark here… but it is Charlie Sheen we are talking about.

  6. Why is this asshole even still popular? He’s just a violent, sex addicted maniac.

  7. So um, Mike, what happened to this weekend’s The Most Important People? Who are they?!

  8. Nicole

    Why is there a tiny empty bottle of tabasco sauce?

  9. Denise Richards Bikini
    Are You That Zimmerman Fella?
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d buy that for a dollah!

  10. Denise Richards Bikini
    Are You That Zimmerman Fella?
    Commented on this photo:

    Charlie has gone on rants against his ex for years. I’m sure it doesn’t even concern her by now.

  11. thats nice charlie. just remember to put the months alimony million check in the mail early to avoid the chrstmas rush. k?

  12. piper

    You just know some dirty old uncle gave this to him as a present and was like, “Just remember, when she gets all uppity just slip her the ol’ salami, knocks her down a few pegs.”

  13. vtmark

    That bat was corked

  14. Mohawk Disco

    This will end well! – said no one. Or Charlie is trying to get the proper help for his kids by proving crazy can be genetically inherited. What a DAD!

  15. leila

    What a fucking low life piece of shit. He has no redeemable value. Literally, the best thing I can say about him is that, to the best of my knowledge, he doesn’t molest or beat his children. He’s totally okay with badmouthing, threatening, humiliating, scaring, and harassing their mothers. He’s okay with wasting the money he could be saving for them or helping other children with on hookers and drugs and parties after a life of wasting money on hookers and drugs and parties. He’s totally okay with setting a fucking deranged example for them and looking increasingly more crypt-keeper like with every passing day. He’s had a life of privilege and he’s been lucky as hell, and the best thing he’s done with all of his gifts and blessings is not be a monster to his children. WINNING!

  16. A horrible human being that continues to be rewarded in life.

    • Mohawk Disco

      I noticed too that life only rewards hartless douchebag assholes. If you try to be a decent human being life fucks you in the ass. But if you break or ignore every law life, God, or man created life keeps rewarding you for it without any backlash.

  17. Jenn

    Charlie probably is invited. Denise more than likely told him he had to leave his porn ho’s at home.

  18. right

    pretty hot for 42 and 2 kids

  19. he was so much nicer when he had a penthouse full of hookers in Vegas smoking crack from dusk to dawn…..

  20. Charlie Sheen exists at the same level of my awareness as Lindsay Lohan. I’ll see them in the news, say to myself, ‘Well, I guess this fucker’s somehow still alive. Shit,” and then go on about my day.

  21. Denise Richards Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder what Neve Campbell looks like these days?

  22. Denise Richards Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Too skinny today but at one time was one of the sexiest women in the world.

  23. Denise Richards Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Elite

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