Charlie Sheen Tweeted A Knife At Denise Richards

Denise Richards brought Charlie Sheen’s twin sons from Brooke Mueller into her home and cared for them as if they were here own until Brooke made it legally impossible to get them the help they needed while Charlie pretended to give a shit by threatening the judge from inside a hooker’s vagina. Now a kind and decent person would forever be indebted to Denise for her hard work and sacrifice, so naturally Charlie just tweeted her a photo of a knife because he thought she didn’t invite him on vacation. TMZ reports:

We’re told the news sent Charlie into a tailspin since he’s already not seeing twins Bob and Max this year for Christmas — they’ll be with temp guardian/Brooke Mueller’s brother Scott.
Sheen lashed out at Denise by tweeting a pic of a chopped up baseball bat — a souvenir from their wedding — with the caption, “The lie is over. I’m done being treated like a relative with a one-way ticket. #DuhNeese.”

Except Denise did invite him:

Our sources say Denise is confused about Charlie’s anger — because as far as she’s concerned … he’s still welcome to join her and the girls on the trip.

In Charlie Sheen’s defense, he probably has porn stars writing down messages for him which gets confusing because they’re illiterate. More importantly, is that bologna inside that baseball hat? Where do you even get something like that? Because that is the most amazing solution to home security I’ve ever seen in my life. For starters, it’s not a gun, so nobody you love accidentally gets shot. Second, imagine this scenario: It’s dark, you hear a noise. You get out of bed, grab the bologna bat, and slowly make your way downstairs. Is it a prowler? Jehovah Witnesses? Whiskers! You silly cat. Oh, boy, another false alarm. Guess you’ll just dunk this baby in mustard then go back to bed. The End.

I want eight for Christmas. Go.

Photos: Splash News