Charlie Sheen Celebrated Court Victory at Playboy Mansion

August 9th, 2010 // 50 Comments
Charlie Sheen at the Playboy Mansion

Because getting away with threatening to murder your wife is always a joyous event, Charlie Sheen celebrated his victory over justice by partying at the Playboy Mansion Saturday night. And fortunately for absolutely no one but him, he made it just in time for new details from the police report to be leaked this morning. RadarOnline reports:

Charlie Sheen told his wife: “I’ll kill you…your mother’s money means nothing… I have ex-police I can hire who know how to get the job done and they won’t leave any trace.”
Sheen’s wife Brooke Mueller told police: “I was terrified and felt for the first time in my life I was going to die.”
Sheen received no jail time for the incident.
The new report reveals a shockingly violent encounter, with Sheen holding a knife to his wife’s neck for approximately 20 minutes, according to police. Mueller told police that Sheen spit in her face during the ordeal.

Wow. Now I really hope all the Playboy Bunnies got together to bake him a cake. Okay, that’s not fair. For all we know Charlie Sheen suffers from the same disease as Mel Gibson, and Hugh Hefner was just playing the part of The Good Samaritan.

HUGH: Fellatio’s right upstairs, Charlie.
CHARLIE: *puts down bazooka* Ohthankgod.

Full Size Version Here

Photo: Splash News

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  1. Amy

    Our society sucks. Bad.

    • Mr. Nice Guy

      Great for Charlie!
      I never believed what the gold-digger accused him of doing.Now learn to bang and play like George Clooney and Derek Jeter but do not get married.

      • sd

        Somebody needs to put a bullet in Charlie’s head, and yours too while we’re at it, you piece of shit.

    • MR. T

      I hope and pray to the sweet baby Jesus that the judge see’s this and shits his pants and throws him in jail.

  2. Jenn

    First MotherFuckers

    • Emileo

      ^ speaking of stupid, skanky ignorant crack whores…you fail bitch. not first, again!

      • Jenn

        *Sigh* Emileo, you shouldn’t talk of your mother in such ways. She gave birth you to you, even if you did amount to nothing.

  3. The Bandit

    HAHA…Hell Yea He Did!

    Got rid of one skanky, crack whore bitch, now its time to get 40 more.

    The playboy mansion is the pez dispenser of low self esteem, fake blonde skanks! Thanks Hef!!

  4. hmna

    I LOLed when I saw the Ron Jeremy photobomb. Epic!

  5. Deacon Jones

    Good for him.

  6. stinky mcpoop

    Hell, I would too. The only thing I wouldn’t do that Charlie Sheen KEEPS DOING is marrying the bitches.

    Marriage licenses should be renewable after your first divorce. Just sayin.

  7. Steelerchick

    Look at Ron Jeremy’s face!!!
    He looks so thrilled to be in the picture!!

  8. Crusty

    I love the smell of double jeopardy in the morning.

    It smells like….. victory.

  9. Cock Dr

    What on earth has happened to C.S.’s face?
    Oh yeah, when you tell a lot of lies the nose grows……that must be it.
    Ron & Charlie probably doubled up on those Barbie blondes after hoovering up lines of coke & Viagra. Next week Charlie will be introducing one or the other as his new fiance.

  10. LJ

    Wasn’t sure that the original Hedge Hog was till alive, but there he is poking his face into the picture.

  11. that guy must have a two foot dick the way he seems to get women wtf

    but how many of us would also have no respect for women if they fell to our feet at the rate they apparently do his.

  12. Charlie Sheen at the Playboy Mansion
    i like you
    Commented on this photo:

    Love the red silk , nice!

  13. Rick

    She’s a crackhead. And, apparently, a very poor listener.

  14. Ksurfiws

    Ron Jeremy Photobomb is the Bomb!

  15. JoeC

    Surely that raggedy looking thing in the white dress isn’t a recent playmate. She looks like the kind of chick that gets passed around between bikers. The one on the right looks pretty nice though.

  16. Douchariffic

    This is an old picture. It made the rounds months ago, if not well over a year ago.

  17. Kim

    Well played Charlie!

    Playa gotta play! Off to the Mansion to line up some new bitches!

  18. Pixie

    Can’t wait til this asshole visits the grotto in a supermax.

  19. Emilio Estevez

    Charlie Sheen is the MAN. NUFF SAID.

  20. Vigorish

    Rich men can afford the best that life has to offer. Porn stars have the best pussies in the world, and they fuck a hundred times better than civilan women. Charlie has already said as much. I say God bless his underachieving ass. If I was making 30 million a year I would be fucking a different porn star every week. I would start off with London Keys, schedule something with Tanner Mayes, then Amia Miley, then Tiffany Tyler, and on and on until I died in some hotel room with my pants around my ankles. We all gotta die of something. I want to die from pussy overdose.

  21. TheAdmiral

    What’s sad is that I look at that picture and think “Oh no, Ron Jeremy’s there? He’s classier than that.”

  22. Vito

    Good God Almighty…since when did this site become a haven of misogynist pricks? I guess more guys than I realized secretly hate women because they can’t get back in the womb.

    Or maybe some gals mortified them by pointing out their “short comings.”

    Whatever, you fuckers are really sick. Hey, ladies…I still love ya, and I hate guys who think their women should be smacked around.

    • Mr. Nice Guy

      I love women. I hope Charlie does also. I just prefer Hot Wild Women.

      FYI the last time I saw a man hit a women I jumped in and put him in a choke hold until the Police showed up and took him to jail. And I pressed charges for assault when she would not. So take your prudish judgemental head and stick it up your ass.

      • Vito

        Fuck off, asshole. I may be making a judgment call and venting about it, but am in no way a prude. I’m simply sick of the jerkoffs in this forum that cheer on some celebrity guy for smacking around his old lady. It’s just not called for.

        On the other hand, if that’s the definition being a prude, then I guess maybe I am one after all. BTW, why did you take this as a personal attack on yourself?

      • Mr. Nice Guy

        I took it as an attack on men based on lies by a crazy women. The fight started over him giving his Daughter a telescope that mated one he bought for himself. That way when they were apart they could talk on the phone while looking at stars together. This and the fact that he and his Daughter had a favorite song (some Train Song) caused his wife to go nuts.
        I took your sick comments as prudish bitching about him going to the playboy mansion to get laid. He is old enough, and last I checked we still are a free county, to get consensual sex when he wants it with out being called sick.
        Hitting anyone (man or women) weaker then you is a low life thing to do and the attacker needs to get his ass kicked.

  23. Marcus

    Tell that fat jew to get out of the picture.

  24. captain america

    ………..I simply can’t accuse him for that.

  25. Ron Jeremy looks like a mustachioed Snooki except he’s prettier.

  26. gigi

    and check out Ron, looking photoshopped in/ like a life-sized marquee [pick one] lol best pic ever

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