Charlie Sheen Car Theft ‘Suspicious’

June 15th, 2010 // 16 Comments

For the second time in four months, Charlie Sheen’s car was reportedly stolen and found at the bottom of a cliff after the actor left his keys in the ignition again. TMZ reports:

Cops have already been to Sheen’s home today. Charlie told them the last time he noticed his vehicle sitting in the driveway was at around 4 PM. He said he had no idea the car was stolen until cops showed up.
Law enforcement sources say cops actually joked when they got the call early this morning that it was Charlie’s car, never really believing lightning would strike twice. One law enforcement source calls the most recent incident “suspicious.”

“Suspicious,” huh? I didn’t know Sherlock Holmes was on the LAPD…

But, seriously, you’ve really got to love these cops assigned to celebrity cases. They’re like the Fourth and Fifth Chance Fairies with buckets of lye and shower curtains in the trunk of their patrol car. I’m sure by the sixth Beamer Charlie drives over a cliff because street drugs aren’t cutting it anymore, they’ll be filling out his insurance claims just to keep everyone’s story straight. “Hey, uh, Mr. Sheen, how many R’s are in ‘I’m on TV, so it must’ve been the Mexicans?’”

Photos: Splash News

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  1. john

    who cares?

  2. Do we have a little Chappaquiddick going on here?

  3. “Must have been the Mexicans” doesn’t meake it any less suspicious, since Carlos Estévez is Hispanic himself. Just sayin’.

  4. Flower

    Hell, to the yeah! Of course, it’s suspicious. He got wasted and drove his ride off the cliff for the SECOND time; crawled out, and iPhoned his “assistant” to haul his rusty old arse outta there before someone came along and spotted him. Then he gave the same old “stolen car” song and dance. A pile of dog poo in a sack of human skin.

  5. FrankNfrtr

    He cut off all his hair so a drug test hair follicle analysis couldn’t be performed.
    Wacky guy….wonder what the deal is with cars going over the CA cliffs. Did someone tell him he had to get rid of the car if he had ever done drugs inside?
    I guess he is that dumb because he keeps getting married.

  6. Here’s the deal. He’s getting his rocks off throwing the car off a cliff. He’s just mad. As in mad-hatter insane.

    • Denise Richards

      Charlie sucks in bed. He has a tiny penis. He prefers women who do so many drugs they can’t realize how awful he is in the sack & won’t complain. It’s hard to find volunteers for this odious activity so he hires hookers. Charlie has AIDS, Herpes 1, 2, 3 & 4, syphillis, crabs & really, really loud smelly farts. Once I caught him trying to cornhole one of the dogs.
      Beware Charlie Sheen!

  7. Karen

    He looks fat, old and pale here. He’ll be dead by 50.

  8. I hate it when Mexicans steal my car… it seems to happen every other week!

  9. stinky mcpoop

    Michael Jordan did it. Last thing he wants is that cracked-out cracker chasing him for his Fruit of the Looms. Can you blame him?

  10. sobrietyisacrutch

    “He had no idea the car was stolen until the cops showed up” Huh? Am I being really slow here? Who called the cops to begin with? I need to get a hold of some of those really great celebrity drugs cause it’s getting harder and harder to follow all the madness.

  11. Bob

    “Charlie Sheen Car Theft ‘Suspicious’”

    As opposed to car thefts that are “fabulous”?

  12. captain america

    psssssssssst: JUST WRITE A NICE STORY ABOUT THE MAN……..

  13. Sam

    Yuck he is disgusting looking. How this douche bag keep coming up with stupid white women is hilarious. He abuse all of his women but yet they are all still standing in his line. White women have to be the greediest for money.

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