Charlie Sheen: ‘Cancel the Whores’

February 8th, 2011 // 50 Comments

Like watching a majestic bird have its wings clipped, Charlie Sheen apparently spent the weekend texting every porn star he’s ever been with, and let’s assume some he hasn’t (It’s hard to keep count.), that he’s done making hooker sandwiches, five whores high. TMZ reports:

Among the messages Charlie has sent — “Please lose the number, we are closed … please drive through … thank you.”
Another text reads, “Right now we are on lockdown.”

Of course, all this is easier said than done for Charlie. You don’t just tell someone you love them in the heat of passion then toss them aside without some sort of emotional repercussion. Or am I thinking about promising them a Bentley? Whichever one makes a hooker feel slightly less dead inside. It’s that one.


  1. atotalcad

    Nothing gets in the way between a whore and her money.

  2. Snooki's Taint

    That’s sad man. It used to be all about the whores. Sniff.

    • NO, it’s always been about FREE pussy. where’s the game when you’re paying for something most people always get for free. charlie’s really only been “kinda” cool. sorry.

      • mamamiasweetpeaches

        THANK YOU! I am so tired of people saying Charlie has “game”. Ive never had to pay someone a couple of thou and a Bentley to sleep with me, HAVE YOIU?! Ridiculous! “game” is when you can score on your charms alone!

      • I imagine it going like this:

        PR Guy: Charlie, you gotta lay off the whores for a while.
        Charlie: Are those the things that keep vaginas alive?
        PR Guy: Yes, but don’t say that in public.

      • Sorry to disagree with you mate but I think Charlie still has game. You’re not paying for free pussy…you’re actually paying her to do stuff that you don’t even see in porn movies. Add that to the fact that most of them are smoking hot I’d say it’s a pretty good deal. I’m pretty sure the zombies you guys pick up in the clubs aren’t that hot and even if they are most of them are afraid of touching the Little General let alone do porn stuff. And…of course the harpies might want a Bentley or whatever it is their soulless husks desire but that doesn’t mean that they’ll get anything more than a couple of hundred bucks and MAYBE a cheeseburger. I’m just sayin’

      • hoyage

        define paying for it if taking the out for meals buying them drinks being nice time them isn’t paying for it then what is?

      • Catani: these girls are attractive but are not smoking hot. and if they don’t do it on film it’s because they would get a pay rate drop or it would be illegal . and without the make-up and lighting you could probably pick up a clone in a bar.
        As far as Charlie’s got game , he has as much as the next guy .

        Everyone else: Free pussy is a thing of the past. a throw back from the late 1970′s to early 1980′s. Charlie knew this early on, he just happens to have one of the most honest relationships with women . Because like hoyage said, what’s honest about paying for a meal and a drink in order to get laid.
        Free pussy is offering herself in a broom closet or some other place. Actually if a girl did that today she would probably be beaten up. and if any girl said they did they are lying.

    • Snooki's Taint

      Get your own handle…hack!

    • Personification of the Gods that built Mount Olympus

      Charlie has no game but he’s filthy rich. What rich guy, who isn’t a square, has never hired escorts? Take Cristiano Ronaldo for example, the guy is rich and the probably has hot chicks throwing their panties at his without even saying a word, yet he got caught multiple times hiring prostitutes.

      The way I look at it, Charlie was just fapping to his favortie porn stars and he thought to himself “why don’t get them here, because I fucking can!”.

      And as far as the whores in Vegas, if you’ve been to vegas multiple times and never hired a call girl (at least once), you’re missing out on the finer things in life buddy.

      • Game? Game is for people who have to get it for free…basically the homeless street beggars of the sexual community.

        If you need a new roof on your house, do you try to talk someone into doing it for free, or do you hire a professional? Well, if you’re not a penniless hippie, you hire someone who knows what they’re doing. Then they do the job, and leave you alone afterwards.

        That’s the difference. The money has no value to Charlie Sheen, so why deal with having to talk to some chick you never want to see after the next 10 minutes is up?

  3. oldfool

    He promised them a bent “LEE”–I call mine “The Little General.”

  4. Burt

    “Of course, all this is easier said than done for Charlie. You don’t just tell someone you love them in the heat of passion then toss them aside without some sort of emotional repercussion. Or am I thinking about promising them a Bentley? Whichever one makes a hooker feel slightly less dead inside. It’s that one.”

    Funniest comment in a long time, Fish.

  5. Burt

    Funniest entry in a long time, Fish.

  6. rican

    This is old news man. Lazy today?

  7. Charlie Sheen
    Commented on this photo:

    She make look 12 from the waist up, but from the waist down she’s Octomom.

  8. pessimism

    I’d take #2 by a landslide. #1 would be my second choice. #5 has a serious case of man-face.

  9. Cock Dr

    Don’t worry. His coporate minders will lose interest & the scrutiny will ease.
    Then Charlie can go back to freebasing himself into an early grave.

  10. Bill

    The mans a living legend!

  11. Does this spell the end of Team Skeet? Will they switch to pro wrestling?

  12. Anon

    Meh…he’ll just go back to using high priced call girls who are more discrete than young big-mouthed pornstars who tell the world he’s got the body of her grandfather and is a 2-minute fuck. LOL

  13. The whore in pic #1 looks pretty good. Looks like she got some curves on her. I might have to look up some of her her work. The rest of them I would pass on.

  14. ThisisnotTigerWoods

    Hey Chuck – trade you their numberr for a few golf lessons?

  15. jojo

    By my calculations there is still a briefcase full of blow kicking around the Clam manor. And what goes better with a satchel of snort than a half dozen tit-less whores. Well played Charlie but I’m calling your bluff.

  16. Talk Hard

    Number 1 hands down…

    and ass in the air.

  17. NooooOOOOOOOooooo! But Charlie, I already started planes for our Valentine’s Day Blowout! And by “blowout” I mean, “The whores are coming over, you might want to put some more blow out.” But seriously, call me. We can keep it on the down-low and have the party at my place.

  18. And it would have taken him ALL WEEKEND to text ‘em all, too. He could really use something like a public address system for reaching the entire porn community at once – a porn star distribution list, per se? “”, perhaps?

    I may be on to something…

  19. Charlie Sheen
    Commented on this photo:

    Who is this? She is amazing!

  20. Many years ago Charlie was quoted as saying “I don’t pay hookers for sex, I pay them to leave afterwords”.

    I think that’s as relevant today as it was then.

  21. Charlie Sheen
    Commented on this photo:

    someone should have told her to wear closed toe shoes until the fungus healed

  22. Luopo

    Someone can explain how is he any different from Paris Hilton?

  23. Charlie Sheen
    Commented on this photo:

    -”We are on lockdown.-Love Charlie”
    **Sexts picture back**
    -”I want my Benz, Chuck.”

  24. babooda

    @catani….Smokin hot? Obviously you have never seen any of these “smokin hot” chicks in person………they look like a bunch of crack whores and smell even worse. That observation comes from working in a video store next door to a strip club where these porn chicks would come to dance. Many times they would come over to see if we carried any of their videos. They were always disappointed when we didn’t have their stuff in stock, because no adult titles were carried by our owner.
    Truthfully,the only thing “smokin or hot” about them was burning end of their cigarettes~

    • babooda…:)) I know what you mean. But I’m not talking about the crack whores that would suck your dick for 20 bucks or less. My best friend owns a Night Club (Strip Joint) and trust me ….some of these souless harpies do lot pretty damn good. I’ve seen way to many men fall in love with dumb whores who were trying to bleed them out. And on top of that….have you ever seen a “luxury” escort? I have…trust me ….for about 1000£ a night you can your dreams cum true.

  25. Uh oh! Easy cash supply cut off, time for the rest of the ‘tell all’ stories to come out. Plastic surgery, coke, and gonorrhea meds don’t pay for themselves.

  26. Charlie Sheen
    Commented on this photo:

    Didn’t porn stars used to be attractive?
    If this is his ‘porn family’, he must have gotten to the adoption agency after everyone else. This collection of creepy coochie looks like the bottom of the barrel. Ew.

  27. mango

    Poor old worn out smelly dick…he has to pay for company. no self-respect. he certainly has been *ucked by all the ho’s…yuck…real men don’t lose control of everything like that. low brow…slob

  28. prancer

    45 year old dont pay for sex. they pay for company

  29. i am grossed out

    if u have money u will pay for everything no one tells you what they REALLY REALLY REALLY think about you. douche bag and he smells i hear

  30. beachbabe

    terrible lay- thin lips and dried up hanging junk.

  31. petri dish

    toothless old lech…put him in playgirl in the geriatric section.

  32. addict

    in response to charlie asking how he is any different from paris hilton…the answer is that you are 25 years older than her dude. that’s why people know that you’re unhappy. it can’t be great to hang around with people half your age and then get that look in the mirror every time you have to pee (which at your age is getting to be more and more)…smoking shit isn’t gonna help you either. you need to get real bro…ur not educated but still you make more than anyone who does such a mindless feminine-type job. you should be grateful that you never had to get educated and really earn what you make.

  33. hard to get

    NOT…my father had sex with him

  34. hard to get

    Paying for sex is like the lowest act that a man can exact; real men don’t do that shit. prostitutes will have sex with animals for money. and prostitutes go home and joke about their johns. trust me..a man needs to have self respect or he ain’t no man at all.

  35. Charlie Sheen
    Commented on this photo:

    Melanie Rios.

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