Charlie Hunnam Bangs His Way To Looking Great, Why Can’t You?

“Wanna burn some calories?”
“Totally. Tongue me, bro.”

Yesterday, we learned that Joe Manganiello wrote Sofia Vergara a book for their anniversary, so why wouldn’t there be a story today about how Charlie Hunnam maintains his abs with vigorous daily sex? Is there a way we could raise the bar on expectations for normal dudes any highter? Because if Alexander Skarsgard starts shooting puppies out of his dick later today, I’m going to resign my future to living in a single-wide with Fish where we split the tab on hookers with our Applebee’s tips. (Let’s be honest, it was always going to end that way.) Via E! News:

Hunnam shared he’s interested in “having a high fitness level across the board,” pointing to running, swimming, hiking and jiu-jitsu as some of his workout go-to’s. The British actor then admitted, “I try to do it all. I also try to make love as often as I can. That’s an important part of fitness.”

So I’m fat because I don’t get laid all day, and I don’t get laid all day because I’m fat? Thanks for the helpful tip, rich actor with no obligations whatsoever! This is just like the struggle of trying to get a job with no experience except it’s not, because it’s a dumb thing pretty dudes say during a Men’s Health interview to detract from straddling a tractor in a wet t-shirt or whatever dumb shit they do for the photo shoot. Any realistic woman will tell you that if you plan on knocking out your 30 minutes of cardio on top of her, you better roll off and immediately start some laundry, the dishes, or fixing the garbage disposal like she’s been asking you to do for weeks because she wanted to swing by Target to look at sheets and now she probably won’t have time. Fuck you, Jax, and by the way, Sons of Anarchy tanked in season three. “Let’s do an Ireland arc!” What the fuck even was that?

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