Charlie Hunnam Hates Kissing Yucky Girls’ Dirty Mouths

“This is my nightmare. I’m living it right now.”

We already know that Charlie Hunnam gets his swole on by getting his fuck on, but he only likes doing that in real life. He doesn’t enjoy fake doing it with actresses because they might have that dog disease that makes you go blind. Yep, he’s a real life sex idiot. Via People:

The origin of his phobia goes back to grade school. “When I was maybe eight or nine, there was a parasite from dogs in the north of England that, if you ingested it, could turn you blind,” he says.

“We had a thing in schools to educate the kids about the importance of hygiene, specifically around dogs, because we had a few kids who went blind,” Hunnam continues. “That horrified me. The point is, everyone thinks it’s great to be an actor and get to kiss a bunch of beautiful actresses in films, but I actually hate it.”

First of all, this confirms every single hope I’ve ever had for anyone who lets their dog lick the inside of their mouth — Clean up, Aisle Emma Watson — like that’s not goddamn psychotic. I once watched a dog lick up an entire vomit puddle, then on another occasion get all up in their owner’s shit like the lights were about to come on at a middle school dance. There is no reasonable amount of time between those two occurrences for that to have happened. So, I completely get where Jax is coming from with that, but as far as how that translates to random actresses, he lost me.

And of course this has now led everyone to point to this as the reason he bailed on Fifty Shades of Grey, which I am also on board with. In fact, I will go so far as to say that I believe Dakota Johnson is patient zero in the oncoming dog flu epidemic and should be quarantined indefinitely. Shit, if that has a chance at stopping further production on that vanilla mom porn, I will testify in court that I’ve seen Jamie Dornan go down on Boo. Yes, of course it was adorable, but still.

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Photo: Getty