Charli XCX Won The BRIT Awards

Even if Madonna’s fall isn’t about to be wiped from all human memory with a powerful incantation, along with every first-born daughter who pricks her finger on a spinning wheel, Charli XCX’s sideboob would still be the highlight of last night’s BRIT Awards because I see old ladies fall down all the time. (*parks outside Cracker Barrel, leers out window* Come to daddy…) So here’s Charli along with Daisy Lowe because just like you I’ll never be buffeted in the face with two pairs of breasts in real life, so why not use the Internet to lie to ourselves some more? The other day I told someone I was a police officer. Ahaha! What did you just mean by paper trail?

Photos: Getty, Gotcha Images / Splash News, Xposure/AKM-GSI