True story. Just a few hours ago, after watching some tattooed stoner moron let his kids climb a tree dangling over a busy street which reminded me of Kai the Homeless Hitchhiking Hatchet Hero and how short of a life-span these Internet sensations have in our post-Antoine Dodson world. But then I forgot all that stuff because now we have a new crazy person interviewed right after extraordinarily saving a life: Charles Ramsey, the Cleveland man who earlier today helped rescue Amanda Berry, a girl missing for over 10 years and presumed dead, which then led to the discovery of two more missing girls that were also kidnapped roughly a decade ago. According to Gawker, the suspect, a 53-year-old Ariel Castro, was a friendly musician who would not only invite neighbors over for barbecue (“I had ribs with the man!” proclaimed Charles.) and nobody suspected a thing, but had a son who wrote an article about the missing women in their local paper and claims to have had no clue. Except I’m getting in the way of Charles:
“I heard screaming… And I see this girl going nuts trying to get outside,” Ramsey said. “I go on the porch and she said ‘Help me get out. I’ve been here a long time.’ I figure it was domestic violence dispute.”
“She comes out with a little girl and says ‘Call 911, my name is Amanda Berry’… When she told me, it didn’t register.”
Wait for it…
“I knew something was wrong when a little, pretty white girl ran into a black man’s arms. Something is wrong here. Dead giveaway.”
Ladies and gentlemen, we have Internet.