Chantelle Houghton in a bikini

June 10th, 2009 // 72 Comments

Here’s British reality star Chantelle Houghton in France today. Honestly, I’ve never heard of this woman before, but believe it or not, I’m familiar with bikinis. No, really, I wouldn’t lie to you. Unless we were married then it’d be an almost daily occurrence.

WIFE: Honey, what are you doing?
ME: Eating a sandwich.
WIFE: But you’re standing in the garage naked with a chainsaw.
ME: …. We ran out of mustard.

I’m a keeper.

Photos: Flynet

  1. BLX

    @40, sorry you’re wrong. That is actually Chantelle Houghton. Google her, then make your comments about terrible journalism.

  2. Sorry people… this shapeless twit isn’t even good enough for a glory hole.

  3. Scott

    “Lol, oooh, did I hit a nerve because I called the fat girl fat? I’m sorry that I offended you because she’s skinnier than your girlfriend/wife/mom… I could sit here and tell you how I look ten times better in a bikini, even without the fake boobs, but it wouldn’t prove anything because apparently making a negative comment about somebody on a gossip website automatically means you’re disgusting. Following that logic, I love how unemployed fat slobs like you talk shit, and 99% of women would rather date Spencer Pratt than sit next to you at the movies. Shut the fuck up!”

    Next time, if you’re trying to come across as witty, google some insults so they dont sound like you sat at home for 3+ hours coming up w that weak sauce.

    You COULD sit here and tell me you look ten times better, but you won’t because we both know you’re full of shit. And I’m far from unemployed, far from fat, and if that’s really the best you can do, I feel for you. Not feel *you* mind you- I dont have the kind of time necessary to devote to something that monumental or to cover that kind of ground. You bitch at me for saying you’re disgusting but you’re blasting some chick whose far from fat unless you’re bulimic(doubtful), w the ‘blech’ bullshit? Get over yourself. I mean, I know you’re perfect w a stunner type body, but give it a shot, heffa.

    I’ll wait for your original and snappy retort.

  4. Scott

    “So, your argument against my saying that she’s fat is saying that she’s out of shape…? Okaaay…
    I never said “I work out so much”, but f.y.i. I do it for myself… Why would any woman waste their time working out to get laid, when men obviously couldn’t care less if a girl is a tank, or, ahem, out of shape…

    No, sunshine, the argument is because shes not fucking fat. Period. Theres plenty of women on here who fit that bill…..she isnt one of them. So when you, as usual, come on here and start in w that, it makes you sound far less credible, and if anything, a bit envious. I know, I know, youre a 10, you look far better in a bikini, and I’m just an unemployed fat asshole, I’ll save you the trouble of repeating yourself. Fact is, shes not fat, you talk like shes a fucking sea lion, and it sounds ridiculous.

    Fire away.

  5. C’mon… Scott’s waiting…

  6. Kat

    ^^Scott^^
    Too many misused commas! Lay off the comma a bit.

  7. Zanna

    @52 – You’ve got to be kidding, right? She’s freaking beautiful.

  8. Z, she’s a set of diamonique QVC boobs (available for purchase in three low monthly payments), no hips to speak of, and an obvious lack of ass.

    http://www.contactmusic.com/pics/l/chantelle_houghton_080208/chantelle_houghton_1750766.jpg

    Sorry, but she looks like Daisy de la Hoya to me…

    C’MON!!! SCOTT’S STILL WAITING!!!

  9. Pogo

    I would totally HIT THAT
    Hell yes
    Just a bit thick…with that British Accent, YUMMY

  10. norton

    Is there any such thing as a “reality” star or anything else that comes out of London which doesn’t contain massive CC’s of silicone?

  11. bigmacbitch

    she’s pretty chubby for hwood standards.

  12. bigmacbeeoch

    she’s pretty fat for hwood standerz

  13. bigmacbeeoch

    she’s pretty fat for hwood standerz

  14. bigmacbeeoch

    she’s pretty fat for hwood standerz

  15. AW75

    Bottom line being.. the lady is a fatty.
    Heidi Klum: Not fat. Rosanne: Fat.
    She is definitely more a Rosanne than a Heidi, ok?

  16. EuroNeckPain

    Chantelle is a brand for lingerie (bras, underwear). I had no idea a woman could be named Chantelle.
    This one is just a thick rectangle with a sunburnt face.
    And she is trying soooooooo hard. Mmmmphhhhh… sucks the gut in…. sticks the pancake-ass out… grrrmmmbbblll… pouts…

    Pathetic.

  17. soo soo solio

    LMAO Some Girl is tearing Poon Tang/Scott a new one. Keep it up girl you are hilarious.

  18. Poon Tang

    No, soo soo solio. No, she’s not us a new one.

    And Some Girl…you were calling names first, remember? Calling a non-fat chick fat? IN my opinion you deserved to be called a cunt because that’s what you are. Suck on it, biatch. And hell yeah I said you don’t have any experience, what kind of dumb bitch makes some sort of blanket statement that infers that men don’t give a fuck about appearances? Sure, there are plenty of guys out there who would stick it to a fatty but there are MANY who wouldn’t. And AW75….don’t try to be funny, it doesn’t become you. Roseanne? Heidi Klum? What the fuck are you talking about? Are you 12?

    And H-Chick, I’m not taking it personally. I just don’t like bitches with attitudes like that, the one’s with the attitudes that PERPETUATE eating disorders in this country. It’s P A T H E T I C

  19. ICFlubbadubz

    1 potato chip away from turning into a house. Underwhelmed. A lot. =D

  20. Cathy

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  21. I think she is trying so hard to looks like Paris Hilton….
    1.) oversize sunglasses
    2.) fake blonde hair…
    3.) cheap dress

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