Chantelle Houghton in a bikini

June 10th, 2009 // 72 Comments

Here’s British reality star Chantelle Houghton in France today. Honestly, I’ve never heard of this woman before, but believe it or not, I’m familiar with bikinis. No, really, I wouldn’t lie to you. Unless we were married then it’d be an almost daily occurrence.

WIFE: Honey, what are you doing?
ME: Eating a sandwich.
WIFE: But you’re standing in the garage naked with a chainsaw.
ME: …. We ran out of mustard.

I’m a keeper.

Photos: Flynet
superficial

  1. titsonsnack

    Oh look it’s someone you’ve never heard about wearing a swim suit. Next up, someone else you don’t give a flying shit about and couldn’t pick out in a lineup, in a swim suit.

  2. G-PewNit

    Manages to combine the idiocy of Spencer and Heidi into one being. She’s a disgrace to Britain and humankind. Wouldn’t touch her with Fish’s.

  3. LargeCock MacDougal

    #1, why are you criticizing the only reason I come to this site? I’m confused.

  4. Rhialto

    Are there only reality stars in Britain?

  5. Sardonic

    Meaty Beaty Big and Bouncy

  6. Someone once told me that the average cup-size in Britain is D. After this, and Kelly Brooke yesterday, I’m starting to believe it.

    Fish; you’ve out-done yourself in the boobage finding department. Well done.

  7. Id rock and roll with this rolly polly! who am i to turn it down now if shes british i need to see those choppers….

  8. Better Than You

    It’s big tited women like her that keeps me here. Good work !! Plus it keeps all the little faglets whinning. Love it !! And the bitches that want to be……

  9. j

    She is a bit thick..

  10. fl

    wooahh…

    thank you.

  11. COntab

    FAKE FUCKING TITS!

  12. Boner Having Dude

    I want to squeeze those liferafts out of her chest cavity

  13. faglet

    Sorry but you can see tits anywhere on the internet. Bigger and better and nakeder ones than these. Tits you’ve never imagined in your wildest dreams. This is a big, bright pink, glitzy looking web site about gossip. You’re gonna have to try harder to convince me you come here for the boobies.

  14. Some Girl

    She’s a little bit… FAT. Even though she’s trying to suck it in. Funny that she puts a shirt over her belly when she’s laying down, she should have tied it around her waist when she was standing up! Nice gray underarm stubble too… BLECH.

  15. HA HA

    Lmao at pic # 4. Awww, honey… did someone tell you you looked good doing that pose? Her face is hilarious, she’s trying SO hard to look sexy.

  16. If we don’t know who the chick is, this site is just “babeporn”.

  17. uh Uh UH! Yeah

    Has no-one here BEEN to Britain? Of COURSE She’s fat. the last skinny girl from England was Kate Moss, before her, Twiggy. They are all over-weigh, doughy, pale-skinned, bad-toothed babes with an accent that makes them sound smarter than you, which they probably aren’t but are far better educated. Unless they have a cockney accent in which case they sound like gutter scum.

    But yes, i’d bang her like a drum, because she is a woman.

    I’m out.

  18. Funeral Guy

    Here’s a lesson for you young turks out there. Take a look at that mid section. Not too bad now, but, 2 kids and 10 years from now she’ll be as thick in the middle as your average Iowa hausfrau hauling her fat ass around Wal-Mart. Listen to the Funeral Guy. He’s been around and he knows these things are true.

  19. Scott

    “Sorry but you can see tits anywhere on the internet. Bigger and better and nakeder ones than these. Tits you’ve never imagined in your wildest dreams. This is a big, bright pink, glitzy looking web site about gossip. You’re gonna have to try harder to convince me you come here for the boobies.”

    You’ll be missed, fuckstick.

  20. Kelley

    Way to stick ‘em out for the paparazzi, baby !! Fake tits !!

  21. dude_on

    “babeporn” is acceptable. If we draw the line at “babeporn” what is next – that The Fish has to exist in a box that says bikini pics of only known celebs are allowed? I just find that extremely restrictive/confining – in a creative sense.

    This ho is a little over the top but the tits alone give her a pass.

  22. Scott

    “15. Some Girl – June 10, 2009 6:35 PM

    She’s a little bit… FAT. Even though she’s trying to suck it in. Funny that she puts a shirt over her belly when she’s laying down, she should have tied it around her waist when she was standing up! Nice gray underarm stubble too… BLECH.”

    Yet another comment from the gaggle of women who themselves wouldnt be photographed by anyone unless it was done mistakenly by the Discovery Channel during the filming of their Planet Earth series….I love how bitches like you talk shit, and 99% of you couldnt hold a flame even to LiLo’s crotch. Fat?????Shut the fuck up.

  23. essex man

    Another Essex slag with fake titties?

  24. G-PewNit

    “Famous” for being the first non-celebrity to feature in the UK’s Celebrity Big Brother (it was a prank, and all the D-List celebs believed she was one of them).

    Vacuous and talentless, her former jobs include working as a Paris Hilton look-alike.

    Despite this, her reality TV stint and subsequent media whoring has made her a millionaire.

    So if you can handle the fact that she’s like a more retarded, chubbier Paris Hilton, she’s quite the catch.

  25. sam

    The fork is not her friend

  26. ........

    gross stomach, horrible rectangle shape. but, admittedly, i might have been thrown off by huge fake tits if i saw her with clothes on and thought she was more attractive than she is. but fake titties don’t make up for skipping the gym. i’m going back to the kelly brook post – big tits and a hot, toned body.

  27. Rod

    Good God I’d cream all over those funbags

  28. Drestylz

    Fat chick with bog bolt on’s. NOTHING TO SEE HERE….MOVING ON.

  29. Drestylz

    Fat chick with big bolt on’s. NOTHING TO SEE HERE….MOVING ON.

  30. Jenny

    Christ, she’s definitely not fat. She has a hot body. I’d rather have some curves & tits than be too skinny.

  31. C@rped|em

    That bathing suit top is working overtime

  32. Huckleberry Hashimoto

    For some reason that is really unappealing. She could really use a waist.

  33. Some Girl

    @23 “Yet another comment from the gaggle of women who themselves wouldnt be photographed by anyone unless it was done mistakenly by the Discovery Channel during the filming of their Planet Earth series….I love how bitches like you talk shit, and 99% of you couldnt hold a flame even to LiLo’s crotch. Fat?????Shut the fuck up.”

    Lol, oooh, did I hit a nerve because I called the fat girl fat? I’m sorry that I offended you because she’s skinnier than your girlfriend/wife/mom… I could sit here and tell you how I look ten times better in a bikini, even without the fake boobs, but it wouldn’t prove anything because apparently making a negative comment about somebody on a gossip website automatically means you’re disgusting. Following that logic, I love how unemployed fat slobs like you talk shit, and 99% of women would rather date Spencer Pratt than sit next to you at the movies. Shut the fuck up!

  34. dink squeeze

    meaty

  35. Poon Tang

    @Some Girl

    Look you dumb fucking cunt, not being in perfect shape doesn’t make someone fat. SHE’S NOT FAT SHE’S JUST OUT OF SHAPE. Dumb ass whore, go choke on a dick. Why do you work out so much, do you do it for your health or do you do it so the random guys at the bar will be more willing to stick their cock in you?

  36. Id like to see her and David Hasselhoff in a stomach vacuum contest…

  37. ^_^

    #18 Speak for the ones you’ve actually SEEN. I, for one, look nothing like you describe. Maybe because I’m half British half Italian I dont have the “pasty, doughy” look, but I’m still an English girl at heart : )

  38. Some Girl

    @37 Look you dumb fucking cunt, not being in perfect shape doesn’t make someone fat. SHE’S NOT FAT SHE’S JUST OUT OF SHAPE. Dumb ass whore, go choke on a dick. Why do you work out so much, do you do it for your health or do you do it so the random guys at the bar will be more willing to stick their cock in you?

    So, your argument against my saying that she’s fat is saying that she’s out of shape…? Okaaay…
    I never said “I work out so much”, but f.y.i. I do it for myself… Why would any woman waste their time working out to get laid, when men obviously couldn’t care less if a girl is a tank, or, ahem, out of shape…

  39. Heidi's used tampon

    This girls name is actually Chanelle Hayes. Chantelle Houghton is another equally vacuous Big Brother contestant. Terrible journalism.

  40. AW75

    @ 34 some girl: well said.
    Yet another butterfaced, sausage-legged fatty / pornstar wannabe. Primary target demographics: overweighted white trash.
    @23 scotty: “the problem with cheap education is that u never stop paying for it.. ” ;-)

  41. AW75

    @ 34 some girl: well said.
    Yet another butterfaced, sausage-legged fatty / pornstar wannabe. Primary target demographics: overweighted white trash.
    @23 scotty: “the problem with cheap education is that u never stop paying for it.. ” ;-)

  42. AW75

    #37: Yum Yum Tang
    Cool it, dummy. If the fatty can afford a boob job, she most certainly can afford a subscription at 24/fitness to STAY in freaking shape.
    In this world, when you r a media BIATCH posing in a bikini to get attention, you stay in freaking shape. That’s her freaking job, CUNT. ;-)

  43. Poont Tang

    @ Some Girl

    Yeah, saying someone is out of shape is a LITTLE bit different than calling someone who is NOT overweight “FAT”

    If you are incapable of understanding that difference than you are just as stupid as I think you are. What *I* said was correct–she is not as “toned” as many of these “celebrities” you see on the beaches these days. But she is NOT fat, not by ANY stretch of the imagination. Except for yours and all the other overly cunty girls in the world :) And you must not have much experience with men if you think they don’t give a shit about appearances. Did you grow up in a fucking cave in Siberia? Is that where you’re posting from?

  44. H_Chick

    @ Nmbr 40 “Heidis used tampon”!!

    Hey!! There is something intelligent about Heidi after all – her used Tampons!!
    Thats the smartest part of her getting flushed away down the drain, huh.

    @ PoonTang – stop taking it so motherfucking personally Poonie!
    If you and Some Girl keep fighting Im going to ring your father and you are going to have to be banned to separate ends of cyberspace for the evening – Ive seen a pic of that Pink wanabee, Spencer “Im a Pratt” and Im already feeling like Im off my dinner.

  45. &&some boy

    woow~~ the girl is so hot~!!! I want to find a such wife… Are you? Feel free to view my photos @ “B l a c k W h i t e L o v i n g . c o m ” where you can find me and many handsome black and white men .

  46. Some Girl

    It is a little bit different, but certainly not worth all of the blind rage and name-calling, which is what I was trying to convey. First you call me a whore, now you say I must not have much experience with men… Whew! You are certainly attacking from all angles! I’m beginning to think you’re related to the fatty. Or, wait, Chanelle…? Is that you? :)

  47. haot

    Half year ago my man left me ! I did not know what to do . Somedays ago i saw the website ## ***cou gar lure*** ####.when i sing up there ,haha .fantastic ! beauty,and handsome !manymany beauty and handsome there from all nations ! all of them are looking for love ,you will be happy there . and i had a dating yesterday!wow wow ! it is my faverite! You have any interest to lovers ,you can have a try there!

  48. bollox

    @40, sorry but you’re wrong. That is actually Chantelle Houghton. Google her, then make comments about terrible journalism.

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