Channing Tatum Wants To Make You A Drink, Girl

“If the t-shirt hits you, you have to go in the closet with me for 30 seconds.”
“Goddamnit, Jonah, no! I’m sorry, everyone, don’t worry, that’s not a real rule.”

When we last left Channing Tatum, he was posting naked photos of his wife, Jenna Dewan-Tatum, to Instagram. And since clearly that makes him a strategic genius when it comes to appealing to every possible sexual preference, Channing is launching his own vodka brand. Seriously, this guy wants everyone partying and/or banging at all times, so he is a real American hero. (Intentional G.I. Joe pun? I will never admit to that.) Via PEOPLE:

The star has announced the launch of Born and Bred Vodka — a move which, back when he was stripping at the age of 19, “would have seemed more feasible than becoming an actor,” he tells Bon Appetit. “Now, I’m a stripper that became an actor that I guess is working in vodka. Nothing surprises me anymore.”

Well, yeah, it shouldn’t surprise to you, because you’re the one starting the busine– You know what? Say whatever you want, you beautiful, rich idiot. I’m a keyboard troll who’s trying to get paid for this post what you will make off half of one cocktail, so who the hell am I to judge? Not to mention, my talents outside of shoving bikini photos onto the internet and crossing my fingers that people will look at them don’t include teaching myself to play classical piano, which is also something Channing has been up to.

Goddamnit, man. Could you leave one vagina for the rest of us? We’ll share it. (Not with you, Jonah. Go away.)

THE SUPERFICIAL | AboutFacebookTwitter

Photo: Getty, Pacific Coast News