Celine Dion breaks own ears

Superficial / May 4, 2006

celine-breaks-ears.jpgCeline Dion was forced to cancel almost a week’s worth of gigs last month after suffering a rare ear disease called labyrinthitis which lead to a severe case of vertigo. A posting on her official Website last month stated:

“Celine continues to recover from the virus she contracted last week which spread to her inner ear. Medically known as viral labyrinthitis, the condition causes nausea, dizziness and general weakness. Her doctor has prescribed medication to treat the associated irritations and instructed her to rest for the next five days, so that the virus can run its course.”

I’m not a doctor, but labyrinthitis sounds like something Michael Kelso would make up. Why doesn’t Celine just admit she shattered her ear drums while trying to outsing herself on a rendition of “My Heart Will Go On.” If she’s suffering from labyrinthitis then I’m suffering from super-humongous-wangitis. The symptoms are pretty straightforward and consist of having a super humongous wang. And damn if my case isn’t severe.