Celine Dion breaks own ears

May 4th, 2006 // 77 Comments

celine-breaks-ears.jpgCeline Dion was forced to cancel almost a week’s worth of gigs last month after suffering a rare ear disease called labyrinthitis which lead to a severe case of vertigo. A posting on her official Website last month stated:

“Celine continues to recover from the virus she contracted last week which spread to her inner ear. Medically known as viral labyrinthitis, the condition causes nausea, dizziness and general weakness. Her doctor has prescribed medication to treat the associated irritations and instructed her to rest for the next five days, so that the virus can run its course.”

I’m not a doctor, but labyrinthitis sounds like something Michael Kelso would make up. Why doesn’t Celine just admit she shattered her ear drums while trying to outsing herself on a rendition of “My Heart Will Go On.” If she’s suffering from labyrinthitis then I’m suffering from super-humongous-wangitis. The symptoms are pretty straightforward and consist of having a super humongous wang. And damn if my case isn’t severe.

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  1. The Jesus Whisperer

    I hate you Celine.

  2. sweetcheeks

    Um, who cares? Her last hit was in 1997. It’s 2006. Do the math.

  3. SuperSpence

    Actually, labyrinthitis is a real and fairly serious condition. Not life-threatening, but debilitating. My father suffered from it a decade or so ago. He would suddenly lose all sense of balance and the room would spin around him. [All without the benefit of illegal narcotics!] Once it was so bad my mother called me at college and asked me to come home so I could help my eldest brother get our father out of the tub. He simply couldn’t stand up.

    Do you have any idea how horrifying it is for a college-age kid to see his aging and overweight father stark naked in the tub? That’s why we must fight and defeat labyrinthitis: As tough as it is on the victims, it is even tougher on the family.

    I subsequently required so much electroshock therapy that I wasn’t able to go near a microwave oven for six years. So labyrinthitis is no laughing matter.

    Except when it happens to Celine Dion, of course. Then it’s funny.

  4. bjpack

    That picture is about as hot as I’ve ever seen her look.

  5. Chef

    http://www.webmd.com/hw/balance_disorders/hw265597.asp

    Poor Celine.

    Not that I’m a fan, but I do feel sorry for her!

    My mother had labyrinthitis a few years ago, and for almost a week she couldn’t move without vomiting. Apparently its awful!

  6. missscoobie

    Oh my god, people pay to see this nasty ass has been? oh, what is the world coming to, first Britney is gonna pop out another cheeto and then Celine gets something that’s not going to kill her.
    dammit!

  7. VanillaSalTyBaLLs

    That pic looks like she caught a whiff of Edna’s snatch …. eeeeewwwwww!!!!

  8. Italian Stallion

    Thats her best Chinese impression…..Me so sorry if it is…….

  9. Dr.Rokter

    “Celine Dion’s Vegas career takes controversial turn: onstage DP from Tom Jones and Wayne Newton challenges Las Vegas’ new ‘family-friendly’ image makers”.

  10. prettierthanmeganharris

    Kind of looks like the face people make during an orgasm.

  11. Moriarty

    Oh for fuck’s sake you lot…

    How can you spend nearly all of the week bitching about beautiful people, when as soon as a deeply unpopular ugly one gets an ear infection you turn into Doctor fucking Drake Ramore?

  12. PocketRocket

    So this twat’s condition causes nausea, dizziness and general weakness. That is basically what her voice has done to millions of innocents for over a decade.

    What comes around goes around, you dizzy bitch.

  13. Fisher55

    didn’t David Bowie have this virus?

  14. SuperSpence – I haven’t had my second cup of coffee nor is it 10 am yet and you made me crack a smile. You’re my new hero.

  15. sweetcheeks

    Did someone just stab her in the back in that photo? It looks like she’s about to sink to her knees and clasp her throat while making gurgling death noises.

    Of course, she may have been forced to listen to “I Drove All Night” all night. I’m pretty sure that’s the face I would make if I had to listen to that shit.

  16. sweetcheeks

    Moriarty — are you a Brit?

    Because I love Britain!! I wish I WAS British. In fact, when I meet people I sometimes PRETEND I’m British. I’m pretty good with the accent.

  17. Moriarty

    Yes sweetcheeks, I am. It is a point that is sometimes received with wildly varying levels of humility here.

    Regarding your accent… Madonna does that now too.

  18. sweetcheeks

    Only not that well…

    Everything sounds far better with a British accent!

    Tom Cruise loves the cock — say it with a British accent and it sounds distinguished, like it might be the tagline for the six o’clock news.

  19. Moriarty

    Over here we usually say Tom Cruise IS the cock.

  20. LOL @ that picture. Is she on the toilet?

    http://www.wehateeverybody.com

  21. Sharkbite, that’s the moment the hypnotist snapped his fingers, took her out of her mental fog, and she truly saw her husband for the first time.

  22. krisdylee

    Looking at her, this is the only time I would ever hang my head in shame for being Canadian.

  23. Tracy

    Unfortunately, I’ve never met a man with super-humongous wangitis. This guy I dated back in the 80′s swore he was afflicted, but it turned out to be super-inflated ego-itis instead, which resulted in a case of super-disappointed girlitis. It took me a week to recover.

  24. Pearly

    Hopefully that ear problem will keep her from “singing” or flying anytime soon. Maybe it’ll kill her…nah, that would be too good. Oh and Moriarty…she’s a nasty old slapper.
    Little more Brit slang never hurt anyone..

  25. PocketRocket

    Actually, the look on her face is from the time LandMan introduced his manhood to her Stink Star.

  26. pinky_nip

    That has to be the ugliest man I’ve ever seen.

  27. Sadachbia

    This super-humongous wangitis must be horrible. It can’t be a good thing. After all, since one size doesn’t fit all, it would prevent the sufferer from having sex with people like me, who are brilliant and desirable and just under five feet tall.

    (I’m not a “little person”. I’m just short. Maybe I’m part elf or something

  28. PapaHotNuts

    That bitch looks exactly like Scottie Pippen. At least he could dunk.

  29. pinky_nip

    I had the same symptoms when I sniffed her perfume.

    And, when she performs, why does she ALWAYS stick her cunt out towards the audience?

  30. Italian Stallion

    “Despite all my Rage I am still just a rat in a cage”………

  31. sweetcheeks

    Stallion I almost pissed myself.

  32. TaiTai

    Damn you Fisher @13, you stole my Bowie reference! Glad someone else remembers that movie. Didn’t Jennifer Connolly come down with a bad case of labyrinthitis too? I think she eventually recovered though. With Bowie, the jury is still out.

  33. sweetcheeks

    Her perfume smelled of labrynthitis and old man stink.

  34. Edna Bambrick

    Smashing Pumpkins are devil worshipers!!

  35. sweetcheeks

    Yet without mention of their name you recognized the lyrics? We have a hypocrite in our midst.

  36. Edna Bambrick

    I listen to the records before I burn them. I am not hypocrite. I pray for the souls of the devil worshipping band members. It was the Lord that took that devil worshipper’s hair away.

  37. krisdylee

    Edna, if I worship the Pumpkins, does that, by default, make me a devil worshipper too?

    Cool.

  38. Italian Stallion

    I don’t even like Smashing Pumpkins, I’m more of a Gallager (sp) smashing watermelons kind of guy, cause I like to watch the darkies cry……I just thought the lyrics matched the picture cracker…..Sweetcheeks rocks…..

  39. Edna Bambrick

    Italian Stallion, you’re a dick.

  40. Italian Stallion

    @39 my work is done here then, thanks dumbfuck…………

  41. Edna, I think you’ve got your terms confused. What you meant to say was, Stallion you’re a funny fucker.

    See, fucker and dick, although both sounding derogatory, aren’t always the same.

  42. LickyLicky

    All I can say about all these comments is:

    ROTF.

    Oh, and:

    TCLTC.

  43. 86

    That picture is hilarious..I wish all pictures could be that funny.

  44. Providentius

    The scene that is pictured is the last time Celine (hitherto referred to as “it”) was being sodomized by its geriatric husband Rene publicly and Edna was shooting the video. She gets off on the excruciating sexual torture of mentally challenged folk.

  45. Labryinthitis is actually a terrible condition wherein the afflicted repeatedly sees a large Minotaur chasing them with an axe.

  46. Grphdesi23

    Celine Dion’s ears couldn’t be reached for comment.

  47. Iambananas

    Well, she does sing rather loudly… but I like that song “My Heart WIll Go On”… it was good… also “thats the way it is” or somthing like that…

    But she’s kind of annoying… marrying that old guy and her mannerisms are annoying.

  48. pinky_nip

    @47: Your posts never cease to amaze me. Just when I think you’re the dumbest fuck in the world, you go and one-up yourself.

  49. txb

    judging from the response of this picture, all pictures on this site should look like this. its more entertianing then the actually topic. everyone who agrees, write and tell the webmaster. it’s time for a change already.
    and about CD. …shes still singing? huh, i thought she was dead.

  50. Kimbo

    lmao at 14. She reminds me of the babe.
    No seriously. That picture is amazing. Now I’m a fan all over again. <3

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