Celebrity blow-up dolls: Creepy or pure genius?

March 17th, 2008 // 105 Comments

In the most disturbing merchandising move ever, Pipedream Products (Link is totally NSFW!) released these celebrity blow-up dolls which feature plastic versions of Eva Longoria, Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Simpson, Jessica Alba and, oddly, Sarah Jessica Parker. Since I’m a sad little clown, I did get a laugh out of the text for Sarah Jessica. Though I was disappointed to see it didn’t include a horse face. You know, for authenticity.

NOTE: These pics are kind of NSFW since they give brief descriptions of, well, certain orifices (a.k.a. the butt).

Photos: Splash News

  1. Holly

    This is disgusting! I know sister mary from celebrity prayer list would not approve! If you guys like this site, check out CPL! It’s hilarious~

  2. Damn, I have never seem the trolls fly out of the wood work like this before.. These blow up dolls must have hit a nerve..

    I can see that the blow up dolls have you trolls all excited, but try and be patients. I am sure yours will arrive in the mail in a few days.

  3. Sambo the Ass Pirate

    @51 “…once you take them out of the boxes, they look…. so scary. giant gaping hole mouths, and made of plastic.”

    in other words, completely lifelike.

  4. Sambo the Ass Pirate

    they were going to make one of Heidi Montag but they couldn’t make jazz hands work as an orifice.

  5. @53 Or like mike looks all the time..

  6. That is hilarious. Especially Sarah Jessica Porkher…ha.

  7. mike

    Jimbo’s looking for a male version named “Cub Scout Joey.” He’s already got a set of footie pajamas with a trap door. And plenty of lube, of course.

  8. Shellibelli

    ALL I want to know is where there be Christian Bale doll anytime soon?!

  9. marc

    Since they didn’t actually use real celebrities’ names, I would assume there would be no real grounds for a lawsuit. The names and pictures are only similar. Such as if there was a cheap action man rip off called “Action Guy” or something.

  10. McMatlock

    I guess the similarity and obvious intention are enough to sue.


    I just went to the website and saw the “JHO” – now if they could just make an Amy Winehouse doll, I’m there.

  12. PostmortemG

    “They were going to make a Melanie Brown doll but they figured everybody already has a black plastic trash bag.”

    Oooooh, you’re mean. =D

    This is out there. I assume none of the celebrities these people are spoofing approve of what’s happening here, but provided said celebs can’t retaliate legally, what *CAN* they do? I doubt I’ll ever have sex with a blow-up doll, and like ass I’m having sex with the real Sarah Jessica Parker. Yuck.

  13. idl3mind

    creepy, yes. marketing genius, yes.

  14. The Jessica Simpson doll needs more air in the head to be realistic.

    I can’t see them getting away with this for long. It’s like that Futurama episode where they mock Napster.

  15. Hecubus

    ‘Oh god damn it Tony you left the Lindsay Lohan dolls too close to the heater, they’re all melted. We’ll never sell them now.’

    ‘Oh no ? How about we market them as Sarah Jessica Parker dolls ?’

    ‘Tony, you’re a genius. All is forgiven.’

  16. Jamie's Uterus

    I bet that attention whore Eva Longoria put this out herself. She’ll do anything to make a buck! She is the J-Lo of television, all hype no talent!

  17. titlesswonder

    Christ on a bike that is a stroke of fucking “why did they not do that before” Sarah jessica Porkher? yeah that will be a big seller, I don’t think.

  18. These chicks kick the original's butt any day

    All these porn chick’s bodies are sooo much better than the bodies of the original actresses, Jessica Alba, Jessica Simpson and Lindsay Lohan would kill to have a body like the body that those three porn chicks playing them have.
    BTW, the one playing Eva Longoria is FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR soooo much hotter and prettier than Eva Longoria man!! Longoria also wishes she could only have a body like hers.
    Oh and SJP, no comment, LMAO.

  19. Jessica Alba has herpes and a warted out rashed disgusting pussy

    Does the Jessica Alba doll come with live Herpes cultures?
    LMAO, so far, Jessica Alba is the one who actually has herpes for real, not Paris Hilton.

  20. The hotter one of all those actresses is Jessica Simpson, maybe Eva Longoria too, but who da fuck would want a Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Alba or Sarah Jessica Parker blow-up doll? WTF?
    I don’t get why they didn’t make the Angelina Jolie or Kim Kardashian blow up dolls, now those are hotties, not Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Alba or Sarah Jessica Parker… maybe they’re sooo hot they couldn’t find chicks hot enough to play them, LMAO.

    Jessica Alba? YUCK!: http://i27.tinypic.com/i6xq41.jpg (taken not even 2 weeks ago)

  21. Harry Ballzack

    @9 – Because there’s no such thing as a woman who can’t get laid by a man.
    Men will fuck a goat – it don’t matter to us sweetheart *wink*

  22. todd heckman

    how much are these things even?

  23. alwaysclassy

    I find it interesting how all the box models (no pun intended) are about 10 times hotter/prettier than the actual celebrities.. especially the LiLo & Jess Simpson ones.
    But the SJP one just looks like a tranny. So in other words it is pretty accurate.

  24. alwaysclassy

    btw #58 — I’m with ya on that one…

  25. Whoa man what the fuck happened to Jessica Alba

    Whoa man what the fuck happened to Jessica Alba

  26. azstate

    I would sue.

  27. LL

    RE “Since they didn’t actually use real celebrities’ names, I would assume there would be no real grounds for a lawsuit. The names and pictures are only similar. Such as if there was a cheap action man rip off called ‘Action Guy’ or something.”

    Doesn’t matter if they use the actual names. if an “average person” (don’t ask me how they determine that) can tell you who the celebrity is supposed to be, it’s infringement. Actually, I would think the producers of “Desperate Housewives” would have a better case for infringement than the celebrities. The celebrities would have to pursue something like appropriation. They might not want to, but I think they could.

  28. Bb

    more like sarah jessica porkhim. yikes. you sure there are 3 love holes on that one? no love shaft?

  29. Is that Nicole Riche’s brother?

  30. OMG2

    She is a hottie. Is she single now? I saw her profile on W e a l t h yR o m a n c e.c o m last week.

  31. Already hit that. Cleanup is a bitch.

  32. Michael

    The girl on the box isn’t Eva Longoria, It’s Lela Star!

  33. somuchlove

    Note she is staying at 6969 Wisteria Lane. I love the attention to detail. Even so, you’d need one hell of an imagination to convince yourself you’re ‘playing’ with Eva when you’re in fact huffing and puffing atop a person-shaped balloon. I wonder if they smell like those inflatable pool toys?

  34. Judy

    She is cute and sexy. She is also my favorite. I saw her profile on millionaire&celeb dating site “SeekingRich.com”
    last week. It is said she is dating a young billionaire on that site now.

  35. alex

    they forget britney

  36. Ingvar

    Great know i can fuck a lady that don’t write comments on the internet like all of the above, yahoooo.

  37. BreakTime

    Lohan wishes she looked this good. Why is the Alba one not Mexican? And, most importantly, are they making one of Amy Winehouse?

  38. LBot

    Sarah Jessica Parker is a butt ugly tranny but I would love to give it up her skanky ass bwhahaha

  39. patrik

    enloy her soft mouth pussy and ass

    really clasy

  40. Sarah Jessica Parker? Who’d buy that one?

  41. Unklejoe

    Id fuk all them blow up dolls! The best part is after you fuk them you can deflate them an put them back in the box.They are mute which is a big plus and you cant get aids or the crabz from em. Ummm ummm those pics on the boxes makes me wanna jack off right now!

  42. x

    who the fuck buys blow up dolls! only 40 year old creepy janitors and serial killers

  43. Mr. Beerhouse

    I think they used a tranny to model for the Sarah Jessica Parker one…not like that would be far off…

  44. washington


    People who have a hard-on for the girl from Square Pegs?

  45. Bonkers!!!

    Damn, you know that Jessica Alba is gonna sue! that chick is a biyatch!! But I wouldn’t blamer her… this is just way too creepy.

  46. Unklejoe

    I just bought Jessica Parkers blowup doll and forked her in the azz! This dolls asz can take it. My corks thick as a toilet paper roll and when i slid it in i coulda sworn i heard sarah moan!

  47. fudge you

    Kinda stupid that it’s porn star Lela Star on the cover and not Eva. Do they really think people are that stupid to notice that it’s not Eva on the box cover?

  48. Rinnay

    Sex in her shitty. ROFL

  49. SnowSparkle

    Ahhhh, 2 months left until Jessica Alba’s body is back to normal! But yet she still looks amazing as evidenced by her ibeatyou video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2ie3B1a-To

  50. wetnap

    well if it were a real doll it would have some business. those could possibly look like the actress, blow up dolls are just freakin scary

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