CeeLo Green Is The Raping Machine

September 2nd, 2014 // 26 Comments
CeeLo Green
And Cancelled
Ceelo
Maybe Stop Tweeting About Rape. Just A Thought. Read More »

After Kanye and Bieber, I hate to rag on a third black guy in a row, but Jesus Christ, CeeLo. Barely 72 hours after pleading no contest to slipping ecstasy into a woman’s drink in 2012, he apparently thought it’d be a great idea to go on Twitter and say rape doesn’t count if the person is unconscious. Yup. Via Buzzfeed who screencapped the fuck out of this before it was deleted:

- if someone is passed out they’re not even WITH you consciously! so WITH implies consent
- women who have really been raped REMEMBER!!!

Fortunately, he stopped after that and didn’t dig himself even deeper. — Haha! Just kidding. He totally did:

when someone brakes on a home there is broken glass where is your plausible proof anyone was raped

Oh. OH GOD. Well, at least he didn’t say he tried to fuck an unconscious woman, but it didn’t work out, so technically that makes him innocent:

so if I TRIED but did NOT succeed but the person said I DID then what really happened?

Needless to say CeeLo eventually deleted his entire Twitter account before restoring it with all this shit deleted. However, he’s sorry for trying to start a “healthy exchange” bust first would like to thank God for helping him duck “rape” charges. Clearly, He saw the woman was asleep the whole time, so let’s call this one a Mulligan:

“Let me 1st praise god for exoneration fairness & freedom! Secondly I sincerely apologize for my comments being taken so far out of context.”
“I only intended on a healthy exchange to help heal those who love me from the pain I had already caused from this. Please forgive me as it..”
“…was your support that got me thru this to begin with. I’d never condone the harm of any women. Thank you.”

He then added, “But is it really HARM if I give you KNOCKOUT GAS and you FORGET the whole thing? You know what? Let’s put a PIN in that. We’ll come back to that.”

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Photo: Getty

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  1. Short Round

    Surprisingly, from the mind that brought you the song ‘Fuck You’

  2. Barcham

    Will this be enough to dump him from that useless show he’s on, The Voice?

  3. Don Draper's Dad

    C’mon Cee-Lo, surely there are women who are into bowling balls that you needn’t drug and rape? Surely.

  4. Somebody needs to break into his house and clean the damn thing out. Just make sure you pick the lock though, instead of actually breaking a window. Because that means it didn’t actually happen.

  5. To be fair to Cee-Lo, he never said that it wasn’t rape if the woman was unconscious. I think he agrees that it’s rape, but is saying that he only rapes unconscious women because they can’t remember that he raped them.

  6. “If a woman is sexually assaulted while she sleeps, it doesn’t count. I learned that from growing up with my six brothers and Snow White.”

  7. Lynne

    Sir… Kind Sir… Please kindly cease that *(&! autoplay commercial in the bottom corner. There’s no “close” button, and it won’t…turn…off. I love your site, love your humor and insight, but please for the love of God stop that abomination.

    • Anthony

      The “minus” button in the bottom right corner will minimize the video just fyi. I agree it’s still annoying though.

  8. MoneyForNothing

    I just wanted to mention that the 7 ads, the streaming side video, and radio promo scrolling across the bottom of the page were really nice.
    But, it’s the cool new pop-up video at the bottom, that freezes the page, and eventually crashes the browser (at the 1 min. mark)
    that I really enjoy. Enjoy your advertising dollars well spent.

  9. JimBB

    No, it was just a typo. What he meant to type was “women who have really been rapped to REMEMBER!!!

  10. Hmm

    What’s with these assholes always quoting something about God? No, if God exists, he does not give a shit about a short, fat, ugly, on hit wonder rapist, not at all.

    • He may be short, fat and ugly, but let’s be fair – he’s not a one-hit wonder by any stretch of the imagination. Between Goodie Mob, Gnarls Barley and his solo career, he has been making hit music for years and has five Grammys to show for it.

  11. Swearin

    By and large, most celebrities are dumb as shit or never learned a sense of decorum, so social media is probably the last thing they should be doing

  12. Jade

    “Hey everyone, just wanted to let you know that if you want to run a train on my ass while I’m unconscious, its cool.”

  13. Drugs First

    Ahh… “It wasn’t my member, if you can’t remember…”
    Thank you OJ! (Hangs up phone to Vegas Prison)

  14. Gosh “Forget You” has a whole new meaning now.

  15. Ken

    Ha! “Third”.
    I see what you did there.

  16. I think I get what he was trying to say, he just said it in an incredibly idiotic and thoughtless way. Maybe next time he should just write a little song and out it on YouTube since basic verbal communication skills elude him.

  17. C’mon… everyone knows that once you perform with the Muppets while wearing a feathered soul suit you’re just a dive bar away from roofie-ing the first unsuspecting groupie your see… one can only imagine what he did to Miss Piggy.

    (shudder)

  18. anonym

    See, people with no education say stupid shit like this.

  19. Sanderson

    LOL. That was just too funny to be true :D

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