Catherine Zeta-Jones loves T-Mobile

April 25th, 2006 // 53 Comments

catherine-zeta-t-mobile.jpgAdWeek has put together a list of the top ten celebrity endorsement deals, with Catherine Zeta Jones topping the list at $20 million from T-Mobile. The complete list is:

1. Catherine Zeta-Jones, T-Mobile: $20 million
2. Angelina Jolie, St. John: $12+ million
3. Nicole Kidman, Chanel No. 5: $12 million
4. Jessica Simpson, Guthy-Renker: $7.5 million
5. Gwyneth Paltrow, Estee Lauder: $6+ million
6. Charlize Theron, Dior: $6 million
7. Julia Roberts, Gianfranco Ferre: $5 million
8. Brad Pitt, Heineken: $4 million
9. Scarlett Johansson, L’Oreal: $4 million
10. Penelope Cruz, L’Oreal: $4 million

I’m just glad these sons of bitches can make more money talking about a cell phone plan for 30 seconds than I’ll ever make in my entire life.



  1. thegabi


    I’ve never even seen or heard of any of these adverts..

  2. jkough

    that’s just sick

  3. Vampyreska

    Brad Pitt? Heineken? I am sure I would have remembered seeing that one.

  4. Vampyreska

    Here’s a link to the Brad-Heineken commercial if anyone is interested:

  5. mamacita

    Well, Catherine Zeta-Jones needs all the money she can get. She’s funneling most of it into some serious R and D for when Michael starts pissing himself, looking like a stroke victim, and begins suffering from impotence. Oh, wait. That’s now. Well, then, BITCH pony up!!!!!! Mama needs a new car.

  6. reptilicus

    Hmm. I’ve only see the T-Mobile ads on tv. I’m assuming the rest are either print ads or are shown in the European or Asian markets.

  7. jkough

    If that ad cost Heineken 4 mil on Brad’s paycheck alone, they got ripped. I’d've done it for 3 mil :)

  8. biatcho

    Have you ever noticed in the T-Mobile ads that the normal people aren’t even in the same room as CZJ when these ads are filmed? You can tell she films them on her own & then they add the regular folk and blend the two together in post production. God forbid she is touched by a peasant who is only making $25 for their part in the ad! “Michael, I think one of them looked at me and it made me feel ugly inside!!”

  9. #8: I believe she stipulated in her contract that the ‘normal’ people must stay at least four feet away from her. But when has a celebrity ever really been demanding like that? Oh, wait..

  10. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Del Taco once gave me five dollars to not tell anyone about the dirty condom I found in my burrito, which was pretty much the price of the burrito. I’m surprised my free burrito endorsement didn’t make it in the top ten – being that I’m incredibly hot and famous.

  11. Jacq

    Ugh! She bugs me. Congrats on the marriage to ol’ wrinkle ass. I’d spend all of that $20 million to get that image out of my head.

  12. Jacq

    For anyone who cares, the Este in Estee Lauder is spelled incorrectly as is Gianfranco Ferre. But, we can spell Heineken dead-on. God I love this place.

  13. PapaHotNuts

    Other celebrity endorsements:

    Britney Spears, Natural Light: $200 per month, free weekly keg

    Michael Jackson, Gap for Kids: One young small Latino boy per day

    Star Jones, Buffet King: One free buffet every 6 minutes

    Edna Bambrick, Fire & Brimstone Sales Inc.: One Wrath of God a month

    Please help me out with more. Too stupid this morning to think.

  14. Good god, that is some money.

    I want to endorse T-Mobile. I’ll even endorse something I completely hate for $20M.

  15. Italian Stallion

    Rosie O’donnell: Hanes underwear with Dick Holes in em: Years supply

    Tom Cruise: The Thunder stick: Lifetime supply

    Whitney Houston: Mr Clean bathroom addition: Can’t give money to a crack whore

    Barry Bonds: Hyperdermic needles: Steriods to fill them

  16. Phoenix

    Slightly off topic but when the fuck did Catherine Zeta Jones lose her Welsh accent. In films maybe but in real life too? WTF?

  17. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    Paris Hilton: Summer’s Eve Douche: lifetime supply, or until her snatch shrivels up and and dies.

  18. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    PapaHotNutz – Tigerbalm: $30,000 per minute and a lifetime supply to keep his nutzzz nice and hot.
    MeganHarris – Radiohead: Free T-shirts and studded belts for roadie rim jobs and her famous “Chai Tea Beard” trick.

  19. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Mariah Carey – Estee Lauder: 18 barrels of nacho cheese, 34 gallons of bronzing foundation, $17,050 worth of Nair products, and a big ol’ jar of pickles.

  20. Dr.Rokter

    Pet Doherty – Public Service Announcements: reduced sentence.

  21. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Britney Spears – Wal-Mart: Free men’s sweatpants, unlimited supply of recalled baby furniture, and a big ol’ jar of pickles. Them fat sluts love them some pickles.

  22. BigJim

    Charlie Sheen — Everlast — free boxing gloves

    David Spade — — get’s to fuck Heather Locklear

    Katie Holmes — Scientology — get’s to go on living

    Janet Jackson — Wonderbra — Uh, I got nothin’

    Sorry, those were all pretty lame. I suck.

  23. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    BigJim – Labatt’s Blue: Awesome bench press machine, every copy of South Park ever made, Matt Stone and Trey Parker inflatable love dolls, and a dartboard with George W.’s face on it so he can “stick it to the man”. Right on!

  24. PapaHotNuts

    Elton John, Anal Eaze Lubricants: One Case a day

    Rosie O’Donnell, Anal Eaze Lubricants: One Case a day to spread on anus & cheeseburgers

    oshkoshb-goshdammgosh,Anal Eaze Lubricants: One Case an Hour when I’m visiting

    The State of Louisiana,Anal Eaze Lubricants: One Case per hurricane so we don’t get fucked so hard again

  25. Slysaucy

    can you hear me now?

  26. Gwenyth Paltrow for Estee Lauder?! I can’t see her endorsing cologne, she looks like she smells like Boiled Cabbage.

    I will defend the Zeta Jones on this one…All the other celebs I have never seen their ads, but her ads at least are running all the time.

  27. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    I must say it puts me at “Eaze” to know the good people at “Anal Eaze Lubricants” have got my back in case Papa Hot Nuts comes to Monroe with butthole on his mind and a song in his heart.

  28. *makes note, Monroe, north part of my state*

  29. gogoboots

    Do they even use these products? NO, it’s for the us peons to idolize this shit because their name is attached to it…for like 30 seconds!

  30. boredmilf

    Edna’s on the brit page!

  31. Ms Crackalackin

    Anyone who has T-mobile as a provider is a dumbass. What kind of company spends $20 million dollars to have the face and voice of a greedy, tacky biatch married to a wrinkled ass for his money?? What kind of company wants a litigious and shallow and aging actress to represent them? I can only imagine how their customer service is since they spend all their money on Catherine Skank-Jones.

  32. Used to think Zeta-Jones was hot, but the thought of her banging a guy a year older than her father kinda does it for me. The 20 mil is more action than Michael “Gray Pubes” Douglas can currently provide. As far a celebrity endorsements, how about Katie Holmes and Cameron Diaz as “beards” spokeswomen? Paris Hilton maybe have her own celebrity line of Valtrex? The Britney Spears Invisible Car Seat?

  33. TaiTai

    How about Chris Martin/Coldplay: Sominex

  34. Heineken is not getting their money’s worth if no one knows the Brad Pitt ad exists…

  35. Where’s Paris? Doesn’t she make around 4 mil for her dumb fragrance or somthing?

  36. Italian Stallion

    MeganHarris no likey Paris Fragrance, MeganHarris really likey Paris voice in “screwed” though, which make me no likey MeganHarris…….

  37. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    They’re coming out with a MeganHarris fragrance. Word on the street is it smells like seared flesh and teen angst.

  38. Trotter


    Chris Martin’s has added a new client
    Colt Handguns: One 45 semi-automatic, box of shells and a copy of Final Exit.

    @35 I’m happy to make arrangements for Colt to hire you next.

  39. dirtypiratehooker

    Britney Spears, Cheetos: $oh, millions

  40. andrewthezeppo

    I especially love that Catherine Zeta Jones isn’t even on set with the others in the comercials. She films her stuff on bluescreen and they super-impose the other in lol…it’s why she always looks too big or too small compared to the others.

  41. Pearly

    Most of the ads listed are made in and played in Japan. The stars agree to do these ads because they won’t be shown here and make them look like the seel outs they are (aside from CZJ who is 70, actually older than MD but he just won’t drink of her guy.)

  42. Pearly

    *sell outs. sorry!

  43. cat

    to make everyone in Louisiana feel better – fifth thumbnail down on the left.

  44. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Thanks, cat, but that picture of the fucking blue dog will only make me feel better if it’s made out of vicodin. Is it?
    Seriously, is it?

  45. Pez_D_Spencer

    More endorsements:

    1. Kurt Cobain: Winchester firearms, Remington ammunition, Dutch Boy paint (It WON’T Stain!)

    2. Michael Hutchence: Bed, Bath & (into the great) Beyond.

    3. George Michael: Port-a Potty

    4. Sid Vicious & Nancy Spungen: Ginsu Knives.

    5. Mama Cass: Hormel Ham, Wonder Bread, French’s Mustard

    6. Karen Carpenter: Slim-Fast, Dexatrim, Ex-lax

    7. Stevie Ray Vaughn: Bell Helicopters

    8. John Denver: Cessna

    9. Peter O’Toole: Bushmills, Powers, Tullamore Dew

    10. Russell Crowe: SBC/AT&T

    11. Phil Hartman: Beretta Firearms, Federal Ammunition

  46. biatcho

    43: Did something happen in Louisiana? Why are they so sad?

  47. TrannyGranny

    Edna, $4.00 American, Jesus Chips by Nabisco

    Jessica Alba….damn lost concentration thinking about her ass. mmmmm Alba-Ass

  48. TrannyGranny

    PH Nuts, are you sure that’s not “Gaping Kids”

  49. cat

    oshkosh – vicodin; no. LSD; yes.

  50. And to think, the people who appear in these commercials with the stars only make good money if the commercial airs a lot, and they probably have to work other jobs. Suckers. haha. Oh wait, I’m one of them too. Shit.

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