Catherine Zeta-Jones is out of her mind

July 9th, 2007 // 68 Comments

Just in case you had any doubts that Catherine Zeta-Jones is 100% ridiculous, the Daily Mail reports she regularly ships in $400 caviar and then washes her hair with it.

The Beluga caviar is apparently flown in from Iran five days ahead of her treatments at a beauty salon in South Kensington. “Catherine discovered the caviar treatment last summer and was astounded by the difference it made to her hair,” said a source. “She has an incredibly rich and vibrant natural hair colour but the creamy, almost oily nature of caviar really brings this out, making the colour even richer and making it so much more glossy.”
Miss Zeta-Jones’s hair is washed with a truffle-based shampoo, then smeared with the caviar, which is combed through and left to set.

$400 caviar for your hair is just a really really wise investment. Because before the caviar her hair looks like regular old hair, but then after the caviar it looks like, uh, regular old hair that smells like caviar. I wonder how Michael Douglas feels when Catherine Zeta-Jones puts on her solid gold pajamas and climbs into bed. I guess he’s already asleep since, you know, dead pandas are so comfortable.


  1. lastangelman

    MIchael Douglas thinks: My wife, you know, she used to be hot, now she smells like a downtown Dallas Fish Market … I used to like burying my face in that hair, now I get a hankering for gefilte everytime we make love. English broads, go figure. Hey, don’t skimp on the cheeses! I like my hot dogs with double toppings. Yeah jalepenos and chili, too, don’t stop. What are you looking at, my wife is too smelly, so I’m taking up food, I’m entitled, it’s right there in Torah.

  2. silentpyjamas

    @14: priceless. she’s probably pregnant 6 times a year and has a midget named Babu that harvests her dumplings fixins when she’s getting her fish-head on.

    …and they said the Countess of Bathory was dead.

  3. Duke

    Naaah. If she had any class (read money) she would use Gold Russian Beluga or Iranian Osetra Gold.

    That’s what my Missy use for her toe nails bath!

  4. kdm773

    #50 – finally, someone got it! Yes, it is a reference to Dumplings, as I think CZJ is one step away…

  5. kdm773

    Sorry 52 – missed your comment… Agreed!

  6. Cariad

    She’s NOT English. She’s Welsh. (We Welsh people get picky about that- Would YOU want to be called Canadian?)

  7. Peshe

    hmmmmmmmmm what can I waste 400.00 on today

  8. HeavenScent

    Actually I’m Welsh as well! Tho I get called a variety of things….

    #54 she very well could be, I saw parts of that movie and it gave me the creeps, but I bet a great deal of Hollywood is that souless they’d eat just about anything…

  9. Paris' godly spirit

    Douglas probably doesn’t even notice her gold pyjamas, hes either too blind and his fingertips are too shrivelled to notice her pure solidness, or in the good old days his women were made of out metal and they all danced around them, singing tribal chants, wearing nothing but loin cloths and eating each other and communicating namely by “Ugg,” and “Ugg Ugg,”

  10. Urrr

    I think she’s gorgeous and all, but this is too much. People are starving. YES starving. stop mooshing fish eggs all over your hair, dammit and do something else with that money!

  11. Disgruntled Cow

    I think it may be less of an waste of money than it appears. If you get sprayed by a skunk, the only way to get the smell out is with tomato sauce…. Imagine how hard it is to get rid of the smell of Geritol, Ben Gay and the general funk of old man. I think $400 would be a pretty good deal.

  12. Dom

    I dont know she is on of the top 5 woman on the planet know for long beautiful black hair, maybe its a wise investment if your paid 5mil for a movie.

  13. Aqualuvbug

    Ya get the same effects with eggs, which cost $1.59 in some cities, you stupid, cloth-eared bint!

  14. elle

    and the most horrible thing is how they get beluga caviar. the criminals find a pregnant beluga whale, slice her stomach open, remove the fish eggs (caviar) and then let
    her go to die a slow, agonizing death. disgusting miss jones!

  15. Karisha

    As a Russian and a caviar lover I have to say what a fucking waist of caviar.

  16. mary

    I remember reading that she “didn’t cook.” I’m still trying to figure that one out. This interview came out AFTER she had kids. How in the hell can a woman get away with “not cooking.” In most parts of the US a normal guy expects his woman to cook something!!!! I also read she didn’t give her kids “pop or soda” yeah how long is that gonna last. As soon as the tots are out of her eyesight it’s overdose time with the Coke & Pepsi. People like Catherine make me sick!!! I wish all of the Hollywood “stars” would get REAL JOBS instead of making porn & getting paid for absolutely nothing!!!

  17. This is just disgusting. But is it true?

  18. Caviar On the Hair 'Downstairs'

    Does she use the caviar on her hair ‘downstairs’?

    Does she color that too . . or is she au naturale?

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