Catherine Zeta-Jones is all kinds of hot

March 10th, 2008 // 87 Comments

Catherine Zeta-Jones promoted her unnaturally hot ass off in Sydney this weekend. She did press for her latest movie Death Defying Acts. I don’t even know what it’s about, but who cares? It stars Catherine Zeta-Jones. I’d watch a five-hour documentary about the bassoon if she was in it. I included pictures of her husband Michael “I met Abe Lincoln” Douglas who stayed in LA. Probably because he has to stay on his native soil or else those around him will suffer the mummy’s curse. And by curse I mean stories about that time he forgot to take his blood thinner.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Getty Images, Splash News

  1. kat

    so pretty

  2. Much better.. How do you rip on her?

  3. fergernauster

    Indeed, she has lost weight, but her face is fug.

    Personally, I couldn’t do her; not because of the fugness or stench from the pit of her scissors, but because of the scabies spreading from her left upper arm.

  4. XavierH

    Is that Kirk Douglas or Nosferatu in the last few pics?

  5. adeliza

    I can not believe that she is fucking that nasty ass Michael Douglas.

    I can’t believe she hasn’t left him already. I gave it until their last child turned 4.
    Oh, well, I guess she hasn’t secured the money she wants off of him yet. It must have been one hell of a pre-nup for her to still be with his ugly, tired, old, grey headed ass. And you know if his hair is grey on top, imagine what the downstairs is like?
    If that isn’t the most classic “I married him for the money and fame” sham marriages of all time, I don’t know what is.

  6. fergenauster

    Personally, I couldn’t do her; not because of the fugness or stench from the pit of her scissors, but because of the scabies spreading from her left upper arm

    and because of that fact that I only do men, large hairy men… and the occasional young boy or goat.

  7. James

    Is it me, or is Guy Pearce looking a little bit comb-over-tastic in that pic?

  8. morga

    Isn’t Douglas the same age as her father? She probably has some deep-seated female-Oedipus complex.

  9. Suzanne

    FINALLY! I always wondered if she’d drop all that weight and get back to the type of shape that works in Hollywood. She’s got that gigantic actress head/face, which is actually a good thing professionally, but she was so thick for so many years that she literally ate herself out of movie roles. Glad to see she finally found some self-discipline. And kudos to her for having the courage to stay shacked up with that rich prune. Tickle the shriveled hairy ballsack every couple of weeks and watch all the money fall down. You go girl!

  10. adeliza


    It’s called greed, you know “Greed is good”. Like her husbands famous quote in the movie Wall Street.

    She dosen’t have any female-Oedipus complex.

    She has a fat wallet desire.

    You know she can’t desire him.

  11. Captain Obvious

    I have never seen an armpit that looked more like a pussy.

    (Second pic on ssecond page).



    young women who marry old wealthy men want money, period. if you have to call him daddy to get it, so be it but it’s not about filing some void in their hearts created by their never present fathers. they are just whores. no need to class it up.

  13. steve

    #11 – you’ve apparently seen only prepubescent girls. Sicko.

  14. You're an idiot

    Yeah, I’m sure she’s after his money, ’cause she doesn’t already have millions and millions of dollars…good thinking.

  15. Rancio

    Why harsh on her? The point is, Michael Douglas used his wealth and power to purchase well-kept younger pussy. Of course bitches have price tags handing off their pussies. Always have, always will. Hillary can get elected president and the only thing that will change is you’ll have to pay more in pussy sales tax.

  16. She is gorgeous… and he… well, eww…

    But really, the woman is flawless.

  17. nipolian

    3rd pic on the bottom row:

    Why does Rosie O’Donnell want Michael Douglas’ autograph?

  18. Andy

    I’m glad chicks like CZJ are for sale. Sure, it’s a lot of pressure to make enough money to attract one of these contract callgirls, but that’s not nearly as difficult as trying to keep a straight face while pretending to take them seriously.

  19. If a guy spends $300 on dinner, I’ll fuck him. Big deal. Next.

  20. GK

    Ya know, maybe she actually does love him. I mean, she has her own money, so it can’t be about that.

  21. Harry

    I saw her at a celebrity golf tournament in Palos Verdes once, and she’s not as “hot” as these pics make her out to be. Kudos to wardrobe and makeup. I mean, she was no slouch, but she looked more regular girl hot, than uber hot. Still, she came off as pretty down to earth. I thought more of her afterwards than before.

  22. i mean really


    micheal douglas comes from an old money, family dynasty. not to mention he’s a jew and a self-professed miser who is worth over $200 million in his own right. sure katherine made a few million in hollywood but she’s not dumb and women always want to marry up when possible.

    she was 30 when they met and the older women get in hollywood, roles become fewer and so does the money. i’m sure after tasting the good life of fame, she wanted to stay in that lifestyle. hell, mrs. micheal douglas was the best role for an aging starlet.

  23. Sambo the Ass Pirate

    @19, can i just send you a big stack of mcDonald’s coupon books?

  24. NY Ted

    I have always maintained that regardless of age…size…looks…talent…that Catherine has ALWAYS had the nicest pair of TITS in the entertainment business! And they are still gorgeous! Just a lovely pair on such a shapely petite woman!

    And I’m not ashamed to say that I would love to bury my face in-between then and suffocate myself!

  25. jrz

    well………..yeah, she’s hot.

  26. @19, FRIST, what do I get for $250.00??

  27. #23, no, you can send them to my troll..

  28. LBot

    @ #3. fergernauster

    Yah I saw that …..WTF !!!

    Also she must have caked on makeup cuz she is sweating around her nose and checks but I still do her

  29. Where have you been FRIST??

  30. You're an idiot

    Good for him.
    And good for you for speculating her life story. I guess I did it too. But the truth is no one really knows but her, right? And…maybe him.

  31. panty pudding


    i’d rather he take me out for 5 for $5 at Arby’s ad let me have the change.

  32. I’ve been here and there, Jimbo, Mondays are always busy. But I did manage to read about Veggi’s drunken pie incident. That was funny, because I’ve done that too, but not with pie. Some kind of frozen food, I’m sure..

  33. Auntie Kryst

    I always thought she was pretty, and still do. Not too happy with pic. #3 though. Those are some crazy fucking eyes. Kind of creepy to look at.

  34. 63 % CRAZY

    anna nicole got a billionaire. CZJ got a millionaire. something tells me CZJ should have held out a bit longer.

  35. norton

    “I get well-compensated in my job and my husband has had a long career, financially successful, and it is a lot of money maybe to a lot of people in this room, but it is not that much for us,” ….. CZJ

    I can’t stand this bitch.

  36. RENEE

    Isn’t that the chick from “Crossing Jordan”…okay, I know, its CZJ; but they always remind me of each other. And CZJ used to be a real beauty, but she’s not as stunning anymore; looks like she’s already had too much work done, espc at such a young age; ironically it seems to have aged her. And don’t even get me started on her hubby; eeegads. But at least he’s not as scary looking as that freaky fan who’s trying to get an autograph; yipes!

  37. nigel

    she’s all about the benjamins.

  38. Rita

    I read something awhile back, from one of her friends, so who knows if it’s true, but…she said that Catherine doesn’t mind the age difference because Michael has a lot of energy. The only thing is – get ready – she has to suck him for what seems like an hour, because it takes him so long to get hard and to finally shoot, and it tastes AWFUL (too thick, too salty), and – best part – he can’t avoid FARTING while she does it, because of some old-man-muscle-decline thing. NASTY!!!! hahahahaha.

  39. How the hell did I miss that??

  40. stizz

    Why are here eyes bulging out of her head in the first few pics? Looks like she just did a massive rail of coke.

    She’s super pretty. I like ‘er.

  41. D. Richards (Whore.)

    Whoa, what-a knock-out! Look at:

    The breasts — agh?

    The figure — agh?

    The buttochs — agh?

    The legs — lets not even go there, Dick. Mutant calf muscles. I hate mutant calves.

    The face — sure.

  42. Elmer the Fudd

    M. Douglas is OLDER than her father. She married for the fame and money. No doubt someone younger than her is trimming up her wool. No way Grandpa can keep up with that.

  43. sally o'mally

    catherine is quoted as saying that the first time she met micheal douglas, his pickup line was “i want to father your children”. micheal was all gentlemanly by imply that he didn’t want to “hit it and quit it” but sponsor her and her offspring. what catherine heard was “kah-ching”. and the rest is history.

  44. The Laughing God

    My peach cobbler was so nice on Saturday. See the trick is to, make sure the peach is firm, but not too firm, soft, but not too soft, almost pre-rot, pre, not rot. Then to dice them up and mix it all together with my “special ingredients list”. Shh! I am not telling you! Martha has been after that recipe for years! The glower on her face when she looked over at her husband Mathew and saw his face awash with pleasure on his first bite is the only thing that give me pleasure my old years. Mercy me! Mercy me! Oh, ho, ho…no, no I think I will cut back on the amount of marijuana in it next time.

  45. Amoreena

    Actually, Michael Douglas’ native land is Bermuda.

  46. oprah's vagina


    i don’t think micheal cares that she’s acting. he’s more than happy to pay her for talents.

  47. #44, that wasn’t that funny the first time you posted it..

  48. D. Richards (Ex-Patriot.)

    Hey, Frist, you better watch out!

    #44′ll tell you that it’s no coincidence between Mars being a planet and the Egyptians having intercourse — excuse me: Arabs; Demascus; intergalactic alien hybrid space-sailors. Ya’ know, All that first-rate science stuff.

    Genesis: the begining. Yeah, think about that.

  49. Why can’t you just be happy I showed up??

  50. D. Richards (Lustful.)

    I am and I love you. Happy birthday.

    You’re not much older than I am, ya’ know. We should date.

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