MICHAEL: And let’s see how much it’ll cost me to have sex with Catherine.
CATHERINE: Haha! It’s true! It’s so true.
Like most people, I often lie awake at night wondering what it’d be like to dine with the Douglas-Zeta-Joneses, so imagine my surprise when these photos of Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones entertaining in France popped up, and it’s everything I’d hope it’d be and more. I’m talking him waving money in front of her face then uncomfortably sniffing it for a really long time before clearly shitting himself and everyone gets the fuck out. It’s like having one of those hilarious grandpas who’s super rich yet loves constantly reminding his new wife she’s a whore. I’d beg to move in.