Archive for the ‘Photos’ Category

Jennifer Lawrence’s Nipples Tried To Seduce Lorde

November 11th, 2014 // 43 Comments

The last time we saw new pics of Jennifer Lawrence, she was not spread eagle on a couch in a series of nude leaked photos. You imagined that. But what you aren’t imagining is her breasts popping out of her dress while she’s in the back seat of a car with Lorde. Her weird, oddly small breasts which I could’ve sworn were much, much bigger. Did Gwyneth Paltrow do this? Did she do this with her free-range witchcraft? Because I fucking told everybody, but “Nooo, we can’t stab her in the heart with a can of cheese.” God, I hate you so much.

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Photos: Vantagenews / Xposure/AKM-GSI

Abigail Ratchford Bikini Photos And Other News

November 11th, 2014 // 6 Comments

- Superman‘s looking tight I mean Amy Adams in that pants suit. [Lainey Gossip]

- Britney Spears‘ dad handpicked her new boyfriend because my Bertney Stories are 100% accurate. [Dlisted]

- Kendra Wilkinson is DTF? I think that’s what she’s saying? [Fishwrapper]

- Girls Night Out [theCHIVE]

- Taylor Swift‘s “1989″ is the first million-selling album of 2014. It’s November. [The Frisky]

- Kate Hudson‘s breasts are charitable. [WWTDD]

- Rick Perry got trolled with butt sex questions. You read those words. [Death and Taxes]

- Jesus Christ, Alessandra Ambrosio posing for her new swimwear line. [Popoholic]

- Barbara Palvin is naked. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Alyssa Milano wants you to watch her breastfeed some more. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Fame/Flynet

The Crap We Missed – Monday 11.10.14

November 10th, 2014 // 443 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed where I boldly make a claim that will send shock waves through the universe which is populated by the fourteen or so regular people who click through and comment on every one of these pics. But before we get to that, can I start you guys off with a little Bradley Cooper going full Elephant Man? Maybe a plate of sad Chris Brown, or some Holy shit, Dennis Franz is alive? for the table to share? You know what, who am I kidding? I’m being torn apart inside…

Oh, my sweet sausage-fingered Prince, what have I done to us?! What have I done??!!

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Splash News

Bertney’s Special New Berfend

November 10th, 2014 // 17 Comments

Bertney’s Special New Berfend
A Learning About Genders Reader

Bertney loved having a boyfriend, and Papa always found the nicest ones to take Bertney to all of her favorite places to eat: The Cheesecake Factory, McDonald’s, Johnny Rockets, McDonald’s again, Red Robin, Taco Bell, and if she was really good, Chuck E. Cheese. It was always very fun, and Bertney could never wait to find out who was driving her next. Even if it meant taking a bath.
Bertney didn’t like baths, but she always tried her bravest for Papa even when Mrs. Esperanza didn’t use the soft warshing stick. Getting a bath was part of being a grow’d up, and Bertney really wanted to be a grow’d up.
“Grow’d ups get to have babies and a big fancy wedding,” Bertney told Jayden that morning. “I never had any of them things a’fore, but I bet they’re all kinds of fun!” More »

Those Are Khloe Kardashian’s Nipples

November 10th, 2014 // 24 Comments

I used up all my word juice on the Bertney post, so for these pics of Khloe Kardashian‘s nipples at French Montana‘s birthday party all you get is me saying, I thought Sasquatches birthed litters. Why aren’t there six of them? Now enjoy these spilling into the pics of her insane buttpud because I love/hate you. (Whichever applies.)

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Photos: Splash News

Selena Gomez’s Breasts Wore This

November 10th, 2014 // 16 Comments

There’ve been enough awful posts over the past two weeks that everyone should know how this works: I write about something terrible like child abuse, and then follow it up with pictures of sexually attractive celebrities so everyone’s distracted with an erection and/or how simple and disgusting men are. It’s fucking crazy effective. On that note, here’s Selena Gomez at a benefit for victims of sex trafficking, so it’s completely appropriate that I’m talking about how great her breasts look. It’d be rude not to.

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Photos: INFphoto, MPNC / STMX / The Grosby Group / AKM-GSI, Splash News

Chelsea Handler’s Topless Again

November 10th, 2014 // 27 Comments

Because your god is dead, Chelsea Handler is continuing her topless assault on social media and subjecting everyone to her naked breasts on Twitter:

Exercising my human right to work side by side with my fellow man. #amazon #freethenipple

Keep in mind, Chelsea Handler was enjoying a luxury vacation on the Amazon where people lack basic food and medicine, yet felt the need to complain that when you take a digital photograph of her topless breasts with a smartphone connected to a global communication system, she’s not greeted with a ticker tape parade and the key to the city. Meanwhile, a child probably died ten yards away, but did he tweet #freethenipple? Then fuck him.

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Photo: Twitter

Margot Robbie’s Harley Quinn? Jared Leto’s The Joker? WTF’s Happening?

November 10th, 2014 // 17 Comments
Previously In Dc Movies
Jena Malone Red Hair
Girl Robin! (They're Trying. They're Really Trying.) Read More »

Over the weekend, news broke that Jared Leto is in talks to play The Joker in Suicide Squad because Warner Bros. is clearly in the business of going, “You already did what on Arrow? Fuck you.” (See, also: Ezra Miller, The Flash) And now Collider is reporting that the insanely hot Margot Robbie is Harley Quinn, so this is an exciting time for DC Comic fans who are tired of seeing Marvel steamroll over them with incredible blockbuster after incredible blockbuster because now they’ve got a Joker with a giant Praetorian Guard penis. This is where it all changes. Or gets very awkward to let children watch.

“Daddy, why’s that lady using the clown-man’s pee-pee for a hammer?”
“Uhh… Let’s go watch the raccoon shoot people.”

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Photo: Warner Bros.