Archive for the ‘Photos’ Category

Selena Gomez Got A New Tattoo

July 17th, 2014 // 36 Comments

If there’s one thing that sticks it to your ex while he plows his way through aquatic ass-beasts, it’s a new tattoo, so here’s Selena Gomez showing off hers on Instagram. It apparently translates to “Love Yourself First” which is incredible because that’s literally all I do in the sack. It’s practically my signature move, so clearly our fates are intertwined and it’s cool if I break into your house and start packing stuff to move into my apartment. Our love doesn’t need verbal agreements. (Totes writing that on my back in Pig Latin.)

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Xposure/AKM-GSI

Lindsay Lohan Won A ‘Biggest Comeback’ Award. The Lindsay Lohan.

July 17th, 2014 // 48 Comments

When director Paul Haggis quit Scientology, the church labeled him a suppressive person and vowed to destroy his life. Which seems like an idle threat until you see him in these pictures handing Lindsay Lohan a Biggest Comeback Award, so clearly these people don’t fuck around. There’s destroying a man’s life, and then there’s crushing his soul to the point where he realizes there’s more dignity in jerking the Thetans out of Tom Cruise and locking women in the engine room of a slave ship. At least then he got a medal.

Photos: Splash News, Xposure/AKM-GSI

Chrissy Teigen Is All You Need To Know About The ESPYs And Other News

July 16th, 2014 // 31 Comments

- I already went nerd crazy with Lady Thor, so here’s a whole bunch of Avengers 2 info/pics. [Lainey Gossip]

- Lana Del Rey doesn’t want anyone to listen to her music now. Done. [Dlisted]

- Wait, the butt makes coffee, too? [theCHIVE]

- Rose McGowan knows Michael Jackson tried to look like her? What? [Fishwrapper]

- Good God, Hannah Ferguson… [Popoholic]

- Jenny McCarthy is still trying to say she wasn’t fired from The View. [Starpulse]

- Winnie Cooper got engaged. GODDAMMIT. [tooFab]

- Hey, remember Courtney Stodden? Whatever happened with that? [Hollywood Tuna]

- Jesus Fucking Bananaballs Christ, Genevieve Morton. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Getty

The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 7.16.14

July 16th, 2014 // 486 Comments

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed where we’ve supplanted our usual large-titted famewhore for 90s The Rock in the lead position because this is the Internet and Kid ‘n’ Play hair + a leather fanny pack > Coco‘s nipple tassles. *rechecks tape on adding machine* Yep, that checks out. We’ve also got Snooki‘s pregnant ass because I hate your ability to see, Dane Cook because HAHA, remember him?, and Cameron Diaz tumbling around The Tonight Show set because she’s still so young and fun!

Seriously though, someone should probably call an ambulance, there are pieces of her hip everywhere.

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

It’s Jeff Goldblum’s 31-Year-Old Fiancee In A Bikini

July 16th, 2014 // 42 Comments
Previously In Bikinis
Lindsay Lohan Bikini
These Aren't Helping. I've Made A Mistake. Read More »

“Hey, everyone look at my new wife I found!”
“Thank you, sir, I was out there for weeks after falling from that boat. I’m so very hungry.”
“Isn’t she lovely?”
“Sir, please, I’m losing consciousness.”
“Wanna see me kiss her?!”

Yup, nailed it.

Photos: Fame/Flynet

Thor’s A Woman And Captain America’s Probably Black #ThanksObama

July 16th, 2014 // 81 Comments
Wallace Did It First
Michael B. Jordan
The Human Torch Is Black Read More »

In the same week that saw Archie gunned down in a mall shooting saving his gay best friend from a right-wing nut, Marvel announced on The View yesterday that Thor‘s a woman now. And according to writer Jason Aaron, “she’s not She-Thor or Lady Thor. She’s not Thorika. She is Thor. This is the new Thor.” So there you have it, and from a man whose first Thor arc was a goddamn masterpiece (I’d almost say it’s his magnum opus, but Southern Bastards only just started.) On top of that, Joe Quesada is making another big Marvel announcement on The Colbert Report tonight, and all signs are pointing to that being a Black Captain America, so somewhere a KKK candy kitchen just exploded. Now how do I, a long-time comic reader with his virginal penis tucked safely in a Mylar bag, feel about this? Exactly like I did when Wallace became The Human Torch: I don’t give a shit as long as the story is good. You could make Spider-Man a transgender koala bear who smacks gossip bloggers in the face with his 25 dicks, and I’d go, “Great. Awesome. How’s the story?” after suing you for stealing my fan-fiction. Just stealing it so hard. These characters were created in a time when they had to be predominantly white, straight males or else they wouldn’t sell because the golden, white picket fence age of America that Obama clearly stole from us with his nigger-knife was racist as shit and crazy misogynistic. Not only could you beat and maritally rape your wife with abandon, but you could divorce her, take the kids and leave her dirt poor while a judge politely offers you a smooth Pall Mall for the drive over to your mistress’ place. And some of you just teared up reading that, didn’t you? Goddammit.

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Photo: Esad Ribic/Marvel

‘Aw Yeah, Lindsay Lohan Bikini Pics!’ – Nobody

July 16th, 2014 // 26 Comments

Because once you write about one coke-monster, you kind of want to write about them all, here’s Lindsay Lohan swimming off her hangover in Ischia yesterday. And if these seem spectacularly disappointing, you should see the Kate Upton bikini pics we couldn’t afford. I’m talking her giant breasts were falling out and everything. I’m not safe to be around right now. *flips over desk, tries to harvest Photo Boy’s plasma with a spork*

Photos: Splash News

Good God, Anais Zanotti, And Other News

July 15th, 2014 // 20 Comments

- Apparently Jenny McCarthy thinks celebrities cause autism. [Lainey Gossip]

- Brody Jenner doesn’t hate Kim Kardashian. He just won’t inconvenience himself for her. [Dlisted]

- Funny Girl Sex Guide: How Not To Neglect The Titties [The Frisky]

- Angie Varona has some curves. [theCHIVE]

- Sasquatch‘s heart wants what Sasquatch’s heart wants. [Fishwrapper]

- This should make up for all those shitty Archie Christian comics. [WWTDD]

- There’s a reason Cristiano Ronaldo bangs Irina Shayk. [Popoholic]

- Anne Hathaway and Kristen Stewart in drag, anyone? [Starpulse]

- You’ve gone too far, weird shirts and angles. TOO FAR! [tooFab]

- Rihanna hates America(‘s soccer team). [IDLYITW]

- What’s up, Nicole Scherzinger boobs? [Hollywood Tuna]

- Does amazing mean will bite your fingers off if they smell like Furnch Fries? Then nailed it. [Celebslam]

- Jesus Christ, Chrissy Mack posing for INKED. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: FameFlynet