Archive for the ‘Photos’ Category

You Kids Want Ass? Jennifer Lopez Will Give You Ass

September 10th, 2014 // 38 Comments

With Nicki Minaj cornering the ass market, it’s important to remember that it was Jennifer Lopez, not Kim Kardashian (What’s wrong with you?), who brought giant butts into the mainstream. So here she is performing at Fashion Rocks last night while flashing her 45-year-old ass or be forever banished into the wilderness in this post-Miley Cyrus Thunderdome we now live in. — I’m joking! There’s always dictators to perform for. Tons and tons of dictators. More importantly, I want to know what this guy’s job is. What’s his specific stage instructions? “Okay, beat, beat, beat, and sniffing the butt. You’re sniffing the butt. Sniff that shit like a fucking flower annnnd… jazz hands!” How do I gear my LinkedIn towards that? How do I make that happen?

Photos: Getty

Bertney And The No Good, Gosh Darn Secret That Wouldn’t Stay Secret

September 10th, 2014 // 23 Comments

Bertney And The No Good, Gosh Darn Secret That Wouldn’t Stay A Secret
A Learning Story For Junior Secret Keepers

A long time ago Bertney got to be in a real, live movie. She doesn’t remember much about it, and has never seen it on account of it not being cartoons, but she does remember a table full of lots and lots of goodies that Papa let her eat if she said her lines right. It was like being in a play everyday!
And, so, while Papa reminded Bertney about her movie, he told her some very exciting news: One of her co-stars was coming to visit!
“A co-star?” Bertney asked Papa, “Like them things you put drinks on that I always think are cookies?”
“Haha, no,” Papa said. “A co-star is like a friend who helps you make a movie.”
“A friend!” Bertney squealed. “Oh boy!” Now she was really excited. Maybe they’d play Barbie dolls together or eat great big bowls of ice creams until their bellies hurt. Bertney loved ice cream. More »

Good God, Raquel Rischard, And Other News

September 10th, 2014 // 9 Comments

Posted By Photo Boy

- Reese Witherspoon is a heroin-addict hiker in Wild. But what about the baby?! [Lainey Gossip]

- Hey, remember Jared Leto‘s gladiator helmet dick? That was only the beginning. [Dlisted]

- Cameras Are A Girl’s (Boobs’) Best Friend [theCHIVE]

- Kris Jenner in a bikini, because Satan needs your eyes for some reason. [Fishwrapper]

- Ranking Jax Teller’s Hair’s Fuckability [The Frisky]

- Rick Santorum wants to ban secularism from schools now. [Death and Taxes]

- Is Paris Jackson pregnant or just 16 years old and shirtless? Discuss. [WWTDD]

- Jesus Christ, Nina Agdal lingerie photos. [Popoholic]

- The thought of pulling your mom’s pubes gave Charlie Hunnam a nervous breakdown. [Starpulse]

- Channing Tatum is terrified of porcelain dolls. [tooFab]

- Here’s a picture moment for Christine. Her boobs deserve it. [Hollywood Tuna]

- And here’s Charlotte Carey naked for something. It doesn’t matter. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Fame/Flynet

The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 9.9.14

September 9th, 2014 // 456 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed which contains a Lindsay Lohan facial and a kid staring at you while you stare at her mom’s ass. It’s practically a Disney movie. There’s even a Prince, a hideous monster and a terrified Kevin Smith who just knows security is going to confiscate all the poutine he’s smuggling in that luggage. All three pieces.

Ok, admittedly that last one had nothing to do with Disney unless you count the anti-Semitism. What, you didn’t know Kevin Smith hates Jews?

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

Ray Rice Is In ‘Good Spirits,’ Everybody

September 9th, 2014 // 26 Comments

Lost in the media’s zeal to destroy Janay Rice‘s life (Alright, who told her?) by holding the NFL accountable for treating domestic violence with a brief “time out,” are the feelings of Ray Rice. Has anyone stopped to ask how he’s doing after getting cut from the Ravens because everyone found out how hard he knocked his wife out in an elevator? He’s a human being, too, goddammit. Mediaite reports:

“I have to be strong with my wife. She is so strong. We are in good spirits. We have a lot of people praying for us and we’ll continue to support each other. I have to be there for (Janay) and my family right now and work through this.”

So did anyone else read, “I have to be strong with my wife,” and immediately go, “Oh, shit, not again!” or was it just me? The important thing is instead of getting all depressed over our culture that places entertainment above social responsibility, I decided to end one of those posts on a happy note by adding Kelly Brooks’ tits to it. No foolin’. If you click on Ray Rice’s face, it takes you right to them. ESPN should be probably be taking notes while I rock back forth in the corner and think about what I’ve done. Money, Fish, you need the money. Money makes everything better. Money is Jesus. You’re okay. You’re cool. This is cool. No one’s crying. You’re not crying. Those are not your tears. It’s probably just rain in your basement, or something. You’re tough. You’re swoll.

Photos: Getty / Fame/Flynet, Splash News, Vantagenews/AKM-GSI

Ariana Grande Has Demands

September 9th, 2014 // 57 Comments
Rocket Titties?
Ariana Grande Rocket Titties Break Free Video Screencaps
How Long Has She Had Those? Read More »

Ariana Grande looks like a 12-year-old Jennifer Lopez which is probably why she’s so huge on the Internet right now, but enough about the thoughts that keep me awake at night. Anyway, also like JLo, she now travels with a list of demands that has horribly been leaked because, again, how old is this kid? 13? I’ll not ask about Mariah Carey you! Via News Australia:

All media who were granted an audience with the 21-year-old singer were instructed to steer clear of delicate topics during her promotional visit this week.
DON’T ask questions about:
(1) Relationships/Dating/Ex-boyfriends
(2) Mariah Carey
(3) Sam & Cat/Jennette McCurdy
(4) Working/collaborating with Justin Bieber
(5) Her grandfather passing away
Photographers were also given last-minute instructions from the Problem star’s minders.
*DON’T use natural light.
*DO shoot only from the left side of her face.

And here’s all of that worked out: More »

Ashlee Simpson’s Sideboob In A Swimsuit, Anyone?

September 9th, 2014 // 15 Comments

Normally, I start each morning with bikini photos, but today I decided to go with Shia LaBeouf’s dick because sometimes I just want to watch the world burn. Anyway, to make up for that here’s Ashlee Simpson sunbathing on her honeymoon which were basically free because Jessica Simpson‘s not in them. There was a time when Joe Simpson might’ve paid money for them, but he’s done pretending to be straight which he apparently equated with wanting to fuck your daughters. Is that what gays think of us? Because we’re not all Billy Ray Cyrus. This Peeping Tom guy, but not Billy Ray Cyrus. No one likes a stereotype.

Photos: AKM-GSI

Taylor Swift Is Writing Songs About Katy Perry Now

September 9th, 2014 // 29 Comments
Is Taylor Swift A Lesbian?
Taylor Swift Karlie Kloss Lesbians
A Sloppy Internet Report Read More »

Taylor Swift‘s schtick used to be writing songs about jerk boys who didn’t make every single date like The Notebook. But she’s evolved as an artist (and a woman… nope, that wasn’t creepy) and has moved on to writing songs about other pop stars who steal her roadies or some stupid bullshit. I honestly don’t know because she’s literally all wet in the pictures. Where am I? What’s happening? Focus, FOCUS. Via Rolling Stone:

Swift’s focus on sisterhood cuts both ways, because when another woman crosses her, she’s equally fierce about hitting back. The angriest song on 1989 is called “Bad Blood,” and it’s about another female artist Swift declines to name. “For years, I was never sure if we were friends or not,” she says. “She would come up to me at awards shows and say something and walk away, and I would think, ‘Are we friends, or did she just give me the harshest insult of my life?’” Then last year, the other star crossed a line. “She did something so horrible,” Swift says. “I was like, ‘Oh, we’re just straight-up enemies.’ And it wasn’t even about a guy! It had to do with business. She basically tried to sabotage an entire arena tour. She tried to hire a bunch of people out from under me. And I’m surprisingly non-confrontational – you would not believe how much I hate conflict. So now I have to avoid her. It’s awkward, and I don’t like it.”

And just so everyone’s absolutely clear she’s definitely talking about Katy Perry who dated John Mayer right after he dumped Taylor, here’s the very next sentence: More »