Archive for the ‘Photos’ Category

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 4.32

December 13th, 2014 // 42 Comments

Welcome to another sporadic installment of The Most Important People on The Internet, our (bi/tri/BBW-)weekly roundup of all the horrible shit you people say in the comments. You’ll notice there’s a few comments from last week’s post, so just to jog your memory Shia LaBeouf tried to say he was raped during his “performance art” piece, Stephen Hawking wants to be a Bond villain and Usher charged his phone with a woman’s vagina which probably explains why Justin Bieber is blonde now. I’ve seen Powder.

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The Crap We Missed – Friday 12.12.14

December 12th, 2014 // 321 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed which is kind of like a schadenfreude greatest hits today with repeat favorites like Russell Brand talking to his dick, Hot Donna‘s ass in yoga pants, and Madonna‘s gross, partially naked old lady parts. Think of clicking through this gallery like being at your favorite restaurant, but instead of going inside, you just stare into the window at everyone eating and make fun of their entirely normal lives.

“HA! That guy seated at a table with a woman is wearing fashionable clothing and eating a salad. NOT FOOLING US, BUDDY, AMIRITE?! *raises hand for high fives* Guys…anyone? Why does my chest hurt?”

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Splash News

Here’s Kim Kardashian’s Naked Butt Painted By A Man’s Penis

December 12th, 2014 // 20 Comments
Kourtney's Naked Now
Kourtney Kardashian Nude Topless Nipples Pregnant
The Whorening Is Upon Us Read More »

Kim Kardashian‘s naked butt on the cover of Paper Magazine will forever be an iconic image of our generation (and the harbinger of its destruction), so why wouldn’t it be immortalized in art? Which brings us to Danish artist Uwe Max Jensen who painted Kim’s now infamous cover using his penis as the brush. Yup. Via The Daily Dot:

Jensen painted the 11-by-15-inch canvas using his flaccid penis, which he dipped in acrylic paint to serve as a brush. “I have my penis in one hand and the canvas in the other,” he told the Daily Dot in a phone interview. “I have a very skilled penis, art-wise.”
Jensen, a 44-year-old performance artist from Denmark best known for decapitating a sculpture of the Little Mermaid and urinating in a water sculpture at a Danish museum [Ed. Note: He probably should've stuck with this medium. - SW], was inspired to create the Kardashian portrait by the work of Japanese artist Shigeko Kubota. Kubota made waves in the 1960s art world for Vagina Painting, a performance piece during which she painted on a canvas with a brush inserted in her vagina.
“My penis is an organ. I need it to reproduce, and for sex and joy,” Jensen told the Daily Dot. “But I can also use it in my art, and that’s joyful for me on more levels.”

As for what inspired him to choose Kim as his second dick painting – his first was an unnamed Danish politician who immediately blocked him from Facebook – it was the oldest muse in the book: Butts. More »

So Remember When Ariana Grande’s Rep Denied She’s Carried Like A Baby?

December 12th, 2014 // 40 Comments

A story broke out this week that one of Ariana Grande‘s numerous diva demands is to be carried like a baby whenever her feet get too tired. Her rep denied the story and called it “fake” except Jezebel found a photo of Ariana Grande literally being carried like a baby (above) from her own Instagram page. That’s like Bill Cosby denying another rape accusation, and then someone finding a photo of his Mr. Roofie with a woman passed out next to it on his Twitter page. At least pretend to try and hide the evidence. Jesus.

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Photo: Instagram

Good Morning, Nina Agdal, And Other News

December 12th, 2014 // 19 Comments

- Welcome to the happiest fucking day in Jennifer Aniston‘s life. [Lainey Gossip]

- Rumer Willis and Hilaria Baldwin apparently hang out. [Fishwrapper]

- Lea Michele‘s eyebrows will destroy us all. [Dlisted]

- Girls On The Naughty List Bend At The Waist [theCHIVE]

- No shameless PR stunt here: “Sorry, we’re killing everybody. Presents?” [The Frisky]

- Maria Shriver is not thrilled with Miley Cyrus banging her son. [WWTDD]

- Bill Cosby tried to rape Taylor Swift on South Park. [Death and Taxes]

- What’s up, Jehane “Gigi” Paris bikini pics? [Popoholic]

- Goddamn, Nicole Meyer in lingerie. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Jesus Christ, Emilie Payet… [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Balawa/AKM-GSI

The Crap We Missed – Thursday 12.11.14

December 11th, 2014 // 297 Comments

Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed which is extremely light and almost entirely women except for Spike Lee and Jeremy Piven, who only appears collaterally thanks to Kate Beckinsale‘s ass. And she’s not even fully turned around, giving only a partial reveal of said ass, but a full reveal of the sad details of my job description which I will deflect as follows when talking to friends and family I haven’t seen for a while this holiday season:

Oh man, I haven’t seen you for ages, what have you been up to?
I’m an electrical engineer. Right now, I’m designing the grid for a children’s hospital. How bout you?
You know those ISIS beheading videos? I edit those.

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Splash News

Hailey Baldwin Made A Lingerie Video, Too

December 11th, 2014 // 9 Comments

Earlier in the week, we saw Kendall Jenner being spanked by Santa Claus for Love Magazine, and now to a somehow creepier extent, here’s her best friend Hailey Baldwin dancing in lingerie. So just assume she’s also managed by Kris Jenner, and Stephen Baldwin‘s Jesus magic was no match for the ancient incantations of the Whorecronomicon. That battle was over before it even begin. “NAKED STUFF SEPHIROTHU!

Hailey Baldwin Dancing In Lingerie After The Jump

Kate Upton Is Topless

December 11th, 2014 // 33 Comments

Here’s Kate Upton posing topless for the “Kate Upton Gets Intimate” behind-the-scenes video for Sports Illustrated because I’m guessing God needed a way to apologize for letting a child molester win the lottery, and this will work. This’ll do the trick. Accidents happen.

Kate Upton Sports Illustrated Behind The Scenes Video After The Jump