Archive for the ‘Photos’ Category

Elizabeth Olsen’s Scarlet Witch Boobs Are What You Should Be Talking About

March 25th, 2014 // 35 Comments

Late yesterday, set photos from The Avengers: Age of Ultron surfaced online and all everyone did was freak out over how ridiculous Aaron Taylor-Johnson looks as Quicksilver after last week’s badass concept art. Yet, somehow, nobody’s even mentioning Elizabeth Olsen‘s Scarlet Witch boobs which look fucking fantastic. Is it because she’s not wearing that weird tiara thing? Is that what the deal is? Because let me hit you with an old saying: “Never look a tit-horse in the mouth.” – Benjamin Franklin, 1862

Photos: Xposure/AKM-GSI, Splash News

Good Morning, Anne Hathaway’s Nipples, And Other News

March 25th, 2014 // 15 Comments

- Kate Hudson and Matt Bellamy are not breaking up now. [Lainey Gossip]

- Of course Kaley Cuoco tattooed her wedding date on her neck. [Dlisted]

- Get Back In The Game With Sexy Girls In Sports Bras [theCHIVE]

- Lady Gaga‘s puke show is about art, darling, not eating disorders. [Fishwrapper]

- Neil DeGrasse Tyson Loves The “Stoned Neil DeGrasse Tyson” Video [The Frisky]

- “Americans should always be armed, even in the shower.” Those words happened. [The Daily Banter]

- Hello, Brittney Palmer… [Popoholic]

- Those are Sharon Stone‘s nipples. [tooFab]

- Ginta Lapina in lingerie, anyone? [Hollywood Tuna]

- Tommy Chong was cellmates with The Wolf of Wall Street. [FilmDrunk]

- We get it, Miley Cyrus, you have an ass.. type thing. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News

The Crap We Missed – Monday 3.24.14

March 24th, 2014 // 421 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed capping an exciting day of exposed nipples and penis outlines, or what our journalism professor will later call “an object lesson in collegiate failure.” But the joke’s on you, academia, because while Moby‘s porno stache and Anjelica Huston‘s melting Muppet face may not be the pressing issues of our culture, we know how much joy our readers will get inferring Ryan Sweeting‘s inner monologue of anguish and suicicde from this picture.

So you can keep your cap and gown, squares. We’ll take Uma Thurman‘s frighteningly similar-looking brother doing yoga any day,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

Jesus Christ, Jessica Simpson’s Legs

March 24th, 2014 // 53 Comments

When we last left Jessica Simpson in January, she was looking noticeably skinnier, so it was only a matter of time until that all ended and she returned to being a tater skin girl in a kale world. Except here she is somehow looking even thinner albeit to the detriment of whatever the hell’s happening to her legs. I’ve always been more of a boob man, but calves aren’t supposed to look like that, right? That can’t be healthy. More importantly, where are her boob- oh, no. Oh no no no no. I just found out Mila Kunis is pregnant, don’t you do this to me now, God. Don’t you fucking do this to me now. GIVE ME BACK MY BOOBS.

Photos: AKM-GSI

That’s Heidi Klum’s Nipple

March 24th, 2014 // 20 Comments

So far today I’ve told you that all the joy and magic has been sperminated out of the world, made you look at Justin Bieber pretend to be James Dean, and showed you the new Lady Gaga video and Scott Disick‘s penis back-to-back. So to make up for that, here’s Heidi Klum‘s nipple falling out of her bikini. Just try and forget Hitler personally designed it to kill hundreds of Jews. If not thousands.

Photo: Splash News, Vantagesnews/AKM-GSI

Scott Disick’s Penis: Don’t Call It A Hammbone

March 24th, 2014 // 20 Comments

While it’s true I hate Scott Disick and would throw cancer in his face should the opportunity present itself, I am, however, personally invested in making sure women know that thin pretty boys who obsessed over hair care products while the other boys hunted, fished, and date raped your sister have surprisingly large dicks. So here’s Scott Disick’s penis which I don’t want a single goddamn one of you comparing to Jon Hamm‘s. I’ve already aimed Mel Gibson at Harvey Levin who’ll pay for his crimes. Oh, yes, he’ll pay…

Photos: Splash News

Mila Kunis Is Pregnant, The Bastard Actually Did It

March 24th, 2014 // 36 Comments
God Is Dead
Mila Kunis Engagement Ring
Mila Kunis & Ashton Kutcher Are Engaged Read More »

Mila Kunis was anything and everything. She was the unassuming hot chick with an almost encyclopedic knowledge of nerd shit. When she wasn’t doing Family Guy, she’d pop up on Robot Chicken. Not only that, but her entire relationship with Macaulay Culkin was easily explained away by the fact she was, oh I dunno, fucking blind. But then she started banging Ashton Kutcher, and slowly became one of those celebrities who constantly bitch about the paparazzi and walk around pissed off all the time. Which is only going to get worse because she’s pregnant now, but not with twins which is apparently supposed to make everything alright and not a trumpet in the sky that this realm is Satan’s and misery shall sit at the throne of our world for 1,000 years. E! News report:

Kunis is pregnant with the couple’s first child, a source confirms exclusively to E! News just weeks after being first to report that the former That ’70s Show co-stars were planning to tie the knot.
The Ted star was even recently spotted attending a prenatal yoga class in Hollywood.

In the meantime, I’m going to assume Mila Kunis’ Jim Beam commercials are now PSAs about the dangers of drinking Jim Beam. “I used to be hot, but then I took an Ashton Kutcher to the knee… gina.”

Mila Kunis Jim Beam Commercial After The Jump